Amaryllis in Bloom
by LairdStewart98
Summary: Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith. A boy who lost his left hand and leg in a car crash. His entire life changed in a single minute. He's later moved to Yamaku Academy, where he meets new friends. And possibly love.
1. Chapter 1

**"You raze the old to raise the new"-** Justina Chen

* * *

People say that things always happen for a reason. I believe them when they say this. What they don't tell you however is how long you'll suffer before the next ray of happiness appears in the tunnel that is your life.

A minute. That's how long it took for my life to completely change. A single car ride and a single stupid choice.

We were driving along the mountain road near my hometown. I had forgotten to put on my seatbelt. It was raining, visibility was poor. Another car was coming the other way. My dad swerved to avoid it and we went over the edge. My parents were in the front while I was in the back. We bounced down the mountainside when we collided with a tree. The car stopped. I didn't. Went straight through the glass and kept on rolling. They found me half a mile further down.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was dead for five minutes and unconscious for three months. I received multiple bone fractures and lacerations all over my body. The damage on the left side was the worst. I lost my left hand as well as my left leg from the knee down. I now also have minor brain damage on the left side, left a pretty big scar too.

Therapy was frustrating, to say politely. Months if not years (I don't remember things like that very well anymore) blurred together as I gained strength, regained control of my arm, hand and leg. I had to relearn it all. I was a leftie until the accident, now I'm not. I had to get used to using my right hand until the prosthesis came, so that was fun (not). Add the damage to my left brain and well... you probably get the picture.

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about the past, I'm here for the future! God, that sounded cheesy. I blame my physio-guy for that, he was always spewing fortune cookie drivel like that. But I digress. After my therapy all the doctors told my parents that I had spent too long inside, that I needed to go back into society and get my education. Naturally my parents were worried I wouldn't cope because I required special needs so the doctors recommended this school for the disabled, Yamaku Academy. The place had all the things normal schools had, but it also had hospital-level nursing stuff on site 24/7 so I would want for nothing. Unfortunately it was in another city but they were assured that the school had dorms. So, off I was packed.

* * *

Two months later, I found myself standing at the gates of Yamaku Academy. At least it looks clean.

Sorry, I'm probably giving the wrong impression. The school was massive, especially compared to my last one (at least I think it was, my memory's kinda fuzzy on that). Anyway, the gates themselves were these massive manor-type iron ones. I felt the steel with my good hand, feeling the strange texture of cool metal and flakey paint.

"Hello?" came a voice from behind me. I may have let out an involuntary noise in surprise. I get lost in the little details so easily now.

I turned to face the voice. It was a guy, brown hair and eyes. His hair was fairly well groomed with the exception of a single hair that stuck up like a unicorn's horn.

"Uh..." I spoke, cursing my stunted social skills "Hey"

"You new as well?" he asked me

I nodded, finding it easier than trying to coerce my brain and mouth to work together.

"I'm Hisao" the boy nodded as a form of greeting

I returned the greeting "Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith"

Hisao kind of gave me a funny look, which I don't really blame him for. I mean, he probably saw the fake hand and the scars, I wasn't really hiding them. Nevertheless, he opened the gate for me. "Shall we?" he said.

I nodded and we walked through the gate together. The main grounds were huge. It almost felt like a park. It seemed that Hisao and I were headed to the same place; the main building.

"No parents?" I asked him

Hisao looked at me funny again. I guess that came out wrong.

"At the dorm?" I added "Mine are"

Hisao "ahhed" as he realised what I was asking "My parents are at the dorms, yes. They're unpacking for me while I meet whoever we're supposed to be meeting"

I nodded in understanding. It seemed he had been told the exact same thing I had. Our parents would deal with our luggage while we met up with a teacher or someone similar.

A part of me wanted to ask what he was doing at Yamaku, or rather what made him come here. I couldn't see anything physically wrong with him. Thankfully, my brain still knew well enough to not voice the question. I could understand touchy subjects after all.

He mutters something under his breath as we walk through the doors, where we met by a tall man in a suit. All dark hair and eyes with too many bags underneath them. "So," he said to us "You must be Ni...Na...Niki? And..uh...Smee?"

I snickered a little, a little too loudly for my taste. The man was addressing us by our surnames, and butchering them in the process. "Sorry," I said "Smith. Kaito Smith"

"Nakai" Hisao corrected him as well.

"Excellent" the man said "My name is Mutou. I'll be your homeroom and science teacher"

I perked up a little there. Science was one of my favourite subjects. Although if I remember correctly I tended to drift towards biology. I despised the physics-side of science. Too many numbers.

Mutou shook us both by the hand and looked at his watch "The head nurse had wanted to see you both for a brief check-in, but I'm afraid there's no time for that now"

"Should we go later?" Hisao asked him.

"Yes, afternoon would be fine" Mutou nodded "Now come. We should introduce you to the rest of the class. They're already waiting"

Now that was a situation I was hoping to avoid. I hated being the centre of attention, even before my accident.

"Would you like to introduce yourselves to the class?" he asked us.

"Yeah, sure" Hisao said "I mean, isn't that normal?"

"Of course" Mutou replied "But not everyone likes to be at the centre of attention" He turned to me "And you, Mr. Smith. What would you like?"

My mind felt like TV static as I tried to formulate an answer, my words coming out in disjointed mumbles "Uh...okay, I mean yeah. Okay"

Mutou gave me a funny look, but nodded nonetheless "It's okay. We have many shy students here. You can introduce yourself if you feel up to it"

I nodded, and up the stairs we went. As we walked I was rehearsing my introduction in my head, trying to make coherent sentences about myself and what I liked "Hello, my name is Kaito Smith. I like art and reading. I can be quite quiet but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person (actually scratch that last sentence). I kept getting distracted by the floor though. The corridors were made of linoleum tiles, but some of them were a slight shade darker than the others. There was no proper pattern to them either, and that frustrated me. I spent a lot of brainpower trying to find one to no avail. I was that focussed on my task that I hadn't noticed that the others had stopped until I walked into Hisao.

"Careful" he reprimanded me.

"Sorry"

"We're here" Mutou said, gesturing to the door. Class 3-3. Third floor, third room. Clever.

Mutou opened the door and so we entered.

* * *

 **Authors Note**

So, a brief explanation to anyone who's wondering...

This was one of the many ideas that I have. Unfortunately, I know I've already got other stories that I need to finish. The problem is I don't really have a schedule for this anymore and most of what I'm writing comes to me like little "eureka" moments. I'll get a surge of inspiration and I'll stay up into the night to get it done, and then it's like a dry well for the next day or more. As such, I don't know when I'll make another chapter for this, or when I'll make a chapter for my other stories. We'll just have to wait and see. I'm sorry if that upsets anyone.

Anyway, hope you liked this. It's currently 1 in the morning so I'm off to bed. Goodnight!


	2. Chapter 2

**"All children start their school careers with sparkling imaginations, fertile minds, and a willingness to take risk with what they think"-** Ken Robinson

* * *

"Hello class" Mutou said "Sorry I'm late again"

I looked out across the class as Mutou speaks. At first everyone seemed like normal, unblemished teenagers. Then I started noticing stuff, like how that girl was missing a thumb, or that guy had a cane, or that girl was conversing with her friend in sign.

"...please welcome our newest classmates"

Mutou claps his hands, as does the rest of the class. Even the girl in front with only one hand. I flinched a little at the loud noise, but nevertheless bowed alongside Hisao. The silence that followed was almost just as deafening (somehow).

"So..." Hisao decided to be the one to break the silence "I'm Hisao Nakai. My hobbies are reading and soccer. I hope to get along well with everyone, even though I'm new" He stopped after that and looked at me expectantly, which immediately blew a fuse in my brain.

I looked across the class as I tried to recall what I had intended to say "I, uh... Kaito Smith. Smith Kaito. I, uh, like art and um... reading... I'm quiet" I kind of clammed up after that.

Mutou, thankfully, started speaking to fill the awkward silence, although I can't for the life of me remember what he said. Everyone clapped again once he was done though, which was a little jarring.

"Right, we'll be doing some group work today" he announced "Hisao. Kaito. You two can work with Hakamichi. She's the class representative so she should be able to answer any questions you have"

It occurred to me that was probably his job to explain things. He was a teacher after all. Nevertheless, we went to go sit with this Hakamichi. A bright girl with golden eyes and the most absurd shade of pink hair stood up to meet us.

"I guess you're Hakamichi" Hisao said "It's nice to meet you"

"Hahahaha!" laughed the girl. I definitely flinched that time. That was loud.

"It's nice to meet you too! But I'm not Hakamichi, I'm Misha! This is Hakamichi" she gestured to the girl sitting next to her, a pretty girl with hair that seemed blue under the classroom lights and a pair of piercing blue eyes behind a pair of silver glasses. I found myself squirming slightly under her gaze.

"It's nice to meet you" Hisao said to her.

"Hi" I said.

Hakamichi looked at Misha, who translated our greetings (presumably) to her. Hakamichi smiled and made a few gestures of her own.

"I can see you're a little confused, right? But I understand why you would think I was Shicchan. Shizune is deaf, so I'm kind of like an interpreter for her. She say it's nice you meet you too!"

Shizune signed something and Misha translated "You're the new students, aren't you? Well Shicchan, of course they are! If they weren't, they wouldn't have been standing at the front for no reason, right? Right! They looked pretty interesting, don't they! We knew there were going to be new students, but we didn't know you would here today. So soon! Right Hicchan? Kaito?"

"Hicchan?" Hisao repeated

"Yup!" Misha smiled with a massive grin "It fits, doesn't it?"

"I don't really see how" Hisao said.

"You look just like a Hicchan!" Hakamichi signed. Misha laughed alongside the other girls smile. I wasn't too sure what the joke was, but it seemed Hisao was going to be stuck with that nickname for the foreseeable future.

"I wonder why everyone thinks that" Hisao wondered aloud.

Hakamichi tapped her fingers on the desk to get Misha's attention. They gestured back and forth at speeds too fast to track. Eventually, even Misha seemed overwhelmed.

"Err... Sorry about that!" she said to us "Shicchan wants you to know that she's the class rep, so if there is everthing you two want to know, you need only ask her" Hakamichi signed some more "Do you like the school so far? We can show you both around a little if you haven't had the time to walk around and..." she seemed a little stuck on one of Hakamichi's words "Familiarize(?) yourself with it?"

While I found Misha's energy and Hakamichi's stare a little off-putting, I couldn't deny that a tour would be pretty helpful, so I said "Okay"

"Yeah," Hisao seemed to agree with me "That'd be pretty helpful. We just kind of came straight to class"

Hakamichi signed something, and Misha burst into ear-splitting laughter "That's no good!" You should always try to learn as much as you can about where you're going before you go there. Not just with school either. Always! Even if it's a trip to the convenience store! Really, Shicchan? Hahahaha!"

Hisao slumped a little more in his chair, making his slight frame look even smaller. "You okay?"

Hakamichi signed something and Misha translated "Don't take the wrong way, please" referring to the earlier comment "I hate it when people are afraid to ask questions! That's how people learn things, by asking! Asking for help is perfectly normal, as much as needing help! Stop looking like you just failed a test!" Misha laughed at that last bit.

Hisao gave a small smile "Alright"

"Another thing" Misha signed as she spoke, likely out of habit "You don't have to call Shicchan something so formal like "Hakamichi" or "Class Rep" all the time! Just call her Shicchan!" Hakamichi gave her a look and sign that made Misha speak more "Okay. Too casual "Maybe "Shizune" would be more appropriate?"

Shizune nodded.

"Yup, yup!" Misha grinned ""Shizune" is fine!"

Hisao and I both nodded in agreement. It appears I had been wrong about Shizune. I had thought she'd be nastier, just from the staring I had gotten. Maybe I was just being paranoid.

Shizune tapped the desk again with a frown (spoke too soon).

"Oh right, we haven't even touched the assignment!" Misha realised "We should start working now, or Shicchan will get mad"

Ah, so Shizune was one of those people. Perfectly friendly but a stickler for rules and protocol. I guess that kind of character is to be expected of a class rep.

"It's pretty long too" Hisao noted "We should probably start now if we want it finished before the end of class"

I wish I could say I was a massive contribution, but sadly, I wasn't that much of a hand. Hisao and Shizune were both really smart, working together through Misha like a well-oiled machine. I, on the other hand, couldn't make sense of the numbers. I was always terrible with equations and the like even before my accident. That and I kept getting distracted by other things in the room, namely other students. There was a girl in the front row who looked like she was sleeping, and Mutou was trying (seemingly in vain) to fix his tie. Little things that inevitably ate away at my time. Despite my being almost useless, we managed to finish a few minutes earlier than anyone else.

The lunch bell rang (which was really loud) and Misha beckoned Hisao and I to follow her and Shizune. We eventually found ourselves in the cafeteria.

"It's the cafeteria!" Misha announced as we entered, which was both needless and attracting a little more attention from passer-bys than I was comfortable with. Seemingly ignorant to stares though, Misha led us to the line where we got our food without any incidence. I was surprised by the variety, although with reflection it would probably make sense in order to accommodate those who needed special diets. It reminded me of hospital. I liked that. It was familiar. Familiar is good.

I got some rice and joined Misha, Shizune and Hisao at the closest table. I must admit I ate like a pig, shovelling my food away like it would be my last until Misha tapped me on the top of my head to get my attention. I looked up, rice still in my cheeks as Shizune looked at me with a face of mild shock.

"So-" I stopped myself and swallowed "Sorry. Hungry"

Shizune seemed to have read my expression well enough, because hers softened as she signed something. Helpless, I looked to Misha to translate.

"Do you want to know something?" Misha asked.

Hisao must have just started listening then because he looked up from his barely touched food "Huh?"

"We're your guides so you should ask if there is something!" Misha said

"Books?" I asked. I hadn't realised that I hadn't fully gotten my question across until I got blank looks in return "Um, I like books," I elaborated "Is there a library?"

Misha frowned for the briefest of moments (I guess she's not a big reader) before her smile returned as big and bright as ever "There's one on the second floor! We can show it to you sometime!"

If I was honest, I wanted to go to the library immediately and hide myself under a pile of books, but I guess I would have to wait "Um, okay".

They spoke a little with Hisao while I returned to my food.

Eventually the bell rang and we returned to class. Turns out we weren't the first ones there. At the very there was a girl, slumped over her desk as if she were tired or cold. Her hair was an entrancingly dark colour. It looked black, but in the sunlight that came through the windows it shone with shades that were more bluish and purplish in colour.

She jumped a little when Misha came crashing through the door. The girl had no volume control at all.

The dark haired girl shrunk away deeper into her seat, if that were somehow possible. I kind of felt sorry for the girl. Our very presence seemed to spook her. Misha and Shizune however didn't seem to notice or care, and returned to their seats if all was well. I found myself thinking about her, even as the classroom filled with the others and class resumed.

So after what felt like an eternity the final bell went and school ended. Shizune and Misha apologised to Hisao and I that they could stay with us due to outstanding work they had to do. At least they had the courtesy to escort us to the nurse's office. Or should I say building, the place was massive. An entire place dedicated to healing and physical therapy.

We came to a door labelled "Head Nurse". Hisao knocked and upon invitation, we entered.

The room was pretty normal for a nurse's office; small, neat with an overwhelmingly sterile smell. At least the nurse seemed nice. A young-ish looking man with a pleasant smile, not at all like Misha's cat-grin

"Hello!" he brightly said "What can I do for you both?"

"Are you the nurse?" Hisao asked him.

"We're new" I added.

The man smiled with eyes rolling like he had heard what we had said several times before "I see" He looked to Hisao and shook his hand "Yes, I am the nurse. Says so on the door, no?" He looked at me as spoke again "You can call me by name if you wish, or you can me "the nurse" like everyone else"

I nodded and shook his hand as he offered it.

"Right" Hisao "Like Kaito said, we're new and we were told by our home teacher to come and meet you. My name is Hisao Nakai"

The Nurse snapped his fingers "Ah, so you're Nakai. I was reading your file just this morning" he looked at me "Yours too, Mr Smith"

"Now," he continued "If you want, I can speak to you both now, or I can keep this private and do you one at a time"

I didn't really mind, but Hisao gave me an uncomfortable look that even I could have picked up.

"I'd prefer a little privacy" he admitted.

"Okay" I nodded "Just outside?" I asked the nurse.

He nodded at me "We shouldn't be long"

I nodded at went to go stand outside the door. Naturally, my attention was drawn by the brickwork in the wall across from me. The concrete was crumbling between two of the bricks and I found myself scraping away at it with my fake hand. Not sure how long I kept doing that before someone came and tapped me on the shoulder. It was Hisao. "What are you doing?" he asked me.

"Um," I found myself unsure how to answer. I just gestured to the wall, the pencil-sized hole now large enough to fit a finger "There was a hole"

Hisao gave me a strange look. "I'm finished with the nurse" he said "He's waiting for you". He left after that.

I entered and the nurse shook my hand again "Hello again Mr Smith" he gestured to an armchair for me to sit in.

"So," he said "An amputated hand and lower leg. Am I reading that right?"

I nodded, wiggled my fake hand and pulled up a trouser leg so he could see my fake leg.

"Okay then," he said, putting what I assume was my file on his desk "You've probably already been briefed about the school, so I'll try and be quick. We have all kinds of facilities available, mostly physical therapy and such. There's always someone from my staff around, even at night, so never hesitate to call us if there is a problem"

That would be the famous 24/7 staff I had been told about prior to coming to the school.

He picked up my file again and started to read "So two prosthetics; one hand and one leg. Do you wear shrinkers to bed?" I nodded "Good. That should help with putting them on in the morning. Do you do any sports?" I shook my head "Okay. Even so, make sure to clean your sockets every day or so we don't get any bacteria building up, we don't want any infections now, do we?"

Everything he was saying was nothing I hadn't heard before. Nevertheless, I nodded "Okay"

The Nurse smiled "Great. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, so I think I can give you a little more slack than other kids. Even so, if you feel any discomfort, come straight to me so I can check it out. If you outgrow them, come tell me I can organize replacements for you"

I nodded, although I was secretly hoping I didn't grow any taller. I was already 6ft and taller than a lot of my peers. I didn't need any more reason to stand out.

"Super. That'll be all then" he ushered me out before I had even realised it. Pretty quick indeed.

Finding nothing else to do. I decided to head to my dorm. Room 118. One the way there, I found Hisao talking to some guy standing in the door of Room 117. He had messy dark hair, thick glasses and a stripy scarf.

"Hey" I greeted Hisao as I passed.

"Who's that?" said the guy in the scarf. I supposed he was partially blind.

"Uh..."

"This is Kaito" Hisao introduced me "Kaito, this is Kenji"

"Dude!" Kenji snapped "Don't go throwing my name around! You never know who's listening"

Okay, now I was confused. "It's, uh, just us" I said.

"Hmm" Kenji looked at me, or at least in the direction of my voice "Sometimes I wonder if I'm the one that's blind" he said

What?

"They're always watching" he said. He looked at Hisao "See you again sometime!" before slamming the door in his face.

"Huh?" I couldn't anything more than that.

"Don't look at me" Hisao muttered "I'm just as confused as you are"

I chuckled a little at that before going into my room. It was a simple room; a desk, a bed, bookshelves and a closet. The closet was full of school uniforms. Fantastic. The bookshelves were empty (I'll have to get some books), but at least my parents had unpacked for me.

I could find my stacks of paper, my paints and pencils too. I also found a mirror.

Staring into the handhold mirror, I couldn't help but gaze at my features. I definitely got my features from my father, who was caucasian, with my round grey-blue eyes and my hair that was a shade that I couldn't decide was dark blond or light brown. More specifically, I was running a hand along the scar on the side of my head. A rugged scar that ran from my cheekbone and up to my crown, cutting a bald line through my hair. I had other scars, like the smaller ones scattered across my arms but that was the only big one that could been seen without me getting naked.

I sighed. I wouldn't tell anyone, but I was still a little conscious about it all. The way that my scars were a little conspicuous or the way that sometimes my brain still got muddled whenever I got stressed.

Alas, there was nothing I could really do about it. So with the day at its end and myself yawning with every second breath, I stripped and went to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**"Experience is making mistakes and learning from them"** \- Bill Ackman

* * *

I woke up not knowing where I was. I had just had a nightmare about my accident. An unfortunately common occurrence.

So I had to start the daily routine; sit until my breathing settled and go over the important information:

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy.

Even after a good night's sleep, it feels good to know that I know what's going on in my life. Given how muddled my mind can be on its worst days it can sometimes be a must to just stop and think.

After ten minutes of my morning ritual, I got dressed and walked out of the door to class, running into Hisao along the way.

* * *

Class ran at a snail's pace as the day went on.

"Hey Shizune" Hisao asked out of the blue "Where does everyone go after class? I mean, are there clubs that people go to or something?"

While I had never considered asking that question, I was the one that spoke up with his problem "Uh, I don't think she can understand you"

As I had expected, Shizune just stared at him for a moment before tapping on Misha's shoulder with a frown.

Misha turned away from her doodle with a sheepish expression "Ahaha! Sorry Shicchan! Is there something you wanted from me?"

Shizune signed to her, to which Misha said "Oh! I see! Hmm... That's a good question, Hicchan"

Shizune signed something "Oh, that's right! Everyone is encouraged to join a club. A lot of people do so because there isn't really anything else to do. There are also school events, like the festival coming up in a few days. Almost every student in the school tends to help out with it, doing whatever. So, you guys actually transferred in at a busy time. Maybe you can both help out!"

Wait, what?

"Sure" Hisao agreed "What's the festival about?"

Misha froze, then laughed "Wahahaha! I don't know. The truth is it's a local event, and I'm not from this area, so..."

I recognised the next look on her face: the panicked look of an empty mind. She started desperately signing to Shizune, looking for an answer. Shizune, in response, adjusted her glasses in a needlessly fancy manner before replying.

Misha chuckled "Who cares?" she translated at in an unecessarily loud voice. I winced at the sound, as did a few people sitting near us.

"Not so loud" Hisao chastised her.

Shizune signed "Human beings evolve with each new generation! The ideals and beliefs behind a festival will inevitably change with time!"

Misha added with her own quip "Now, it's about delicious fried food and amusing little games that you play to win prizes! Hahahaha!"

The teacher, their patience now worn thin, cleared their throat and hit the board with their pointer, their meaning clear. At least Misha had the sense to shut up after that.

Shizune signed something, which Misha translated in a (thankfully) quieter voice "We are in the middle of class, and should start working" She didn't stop talking though, and spoke some more "That's right! Hicchan, are you asking because you're interested in joining a club?"

I may have imagined it, but I could have sworn that I saw a look pass between the two girls.

"Yeah, I was thinking about it" Hisao said, seemingly oblivious to whatever they were planning.

I that point I looked around to see the dark-haired girl get up and slip out of class without a word. Confused, I looked to the teacher, who had also noticed her leave. Why didn't he say anything? It hadn't looked like she was working with anyone either. No one reacted.

"Kaito?" came Misha's voice (no surprise there) "Are you alright. Is something wrong?"

I didn't get it. A girl just sneaked out and no one noticed? No one thought that was weird?

"No" I answered.

Shizune smiled and signed something to Misha "Do either of you have plans for lunch today?"

"Not really" was Hisao's reply

"Library" I answered.

Misha shared a look and some sign with Shizune, who shrugged her shoulders and signed something else in response. "Okay then," she said "Hisao, do you want to have lunch with us?"

"Sure" he nodded

Shizune smiled, and Misha laughed "Perfect!"

* * *

So the three of them left after class together, and I was left alone.

The girl with the dark hair never came back to class. I'm not sure why that stayed in my head. Most other things in the class had left my head, memories evaporating like steam.

I saw the three of them when I got some food from the cafeteria (chicken soup), but I never said anything to them, rather deciding to eat and read a book instead. I had forgotten about going to the library.

When we went back to class, I noticed that the girl with the dark hair had come back, sitting back into her seat without a word, like she had never left.

No one seemed to think it was weird. It frustrated me because I felt like I was the only one who was bothered by it. Even Hisao hadn't seemed to notice. I wanted to ask someone, but I couldn't help but worry about how the others would think. It was a rock and a hard place.

The day ended, and Hisao left with Shizune and Misha. I remembered that I was looking for the library, so off I went.

I went to the second floor, only to find that none of the doors were signposted. A small amount of panic clouded my mind as I walked along the corridors, looking a sign or a hint that one of the identical doors led to the haven I sought.

Taking a risk, I opened a door. It was completely wrong.

There were no books, all there was in the room was a blonde girl drinking tea.

"Hello?" she called out, not facing me.

"Sorry!" I blurted "Wrong room!"

I went to slam the door shut and run when the girl spoke again, her voice simultaneously calming and commanding "It's okay. Come in. Have a seat"

Against my better judgement, I complied, sitting across from her. Her gaze never changed, or even seemed to acknowledge my presence. I think she was blind.

"Are you blind?" the question left me before I had even thought that it might not have been very polite.

She seemed to take the question well "Why yes I am" with a wry smile.

"Sorry" I apologised "That was rude I... I'm um... not very good with this"

"It's quite alright" she smiled, taking a sip of her tea "Would you like some tea?"

A part of me just wanted to leave. To find the library and hide so I didn't screw up again. On the other hand... I really liked tea.

"Okay" I said after a moments deliberation.

So off she went, slowly, carefully but very deliberately making tea. To be honest I was expecting blindness to be a hindrance, but she made it just as quickly as I would have. I guess I should probably revise my way of thinking.

"So," she said as she poured me my tea and sat back down "Are you new to the school?"

I took a sip of the tea. It was good "Yes"

"I'm Lilly Satou. Pleased to meet you"

I felt uncomfortable. I knew it was weird, but her sightless gaze unnerved me. Her polite demeanour was even more offputting. I was certain I was doing something wrong. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off. I would do something rude or offend her somehow and she would angry or snap or something "Uh, Smith Kaito. Kaito Smith" I spoke into my cup, incapable of looking her in the eye.

She nodded "Tell me, Kaito, which room were you looking for?"

"Library" I explained, my voice a little clearer that time.

"Which class are you in?" she asked

"3-3. With... uh..." my mind went blank.

"Mutou?" she suggested

I nodded, only to realise that she couldn't see that "Yeah"

She raised a hand to her mouth and giggled "He's quite a character. I imagine you'll come to like; most do"

We sat there in silence for a while, drinking our tea. Lilly didn't seem to mind the silence, which I liked, but I still felt I was walking on eggshells around her.

I had finished my tea by the time I had worked up my nerve to ask my question "Um, where's the library?"

She finished her tea upon her answer "Come. I'll show you. I need to meet with the librarian anyway. I'll introduce you"

A little surprised by the offer, all I could think of saying was "Okay"

Standing up (she was taller than I expected), Lilly drew a stick from her bag. It was one of those blind-man canes that they use to get around. With her leading, we made it to the library in no time.

The library was a big room, everything crafted from hardwood fron the counters to the bookshelves to the chairs. It was definitely bigger than my old school's library, and it definitely smelled older. I loved it. There weren't that many students present either, so it was quiet which I also liked.

"Yuuko," Lilly called "Are you here?"

Something responded, a loud thud and groan coming from underneath the counter. A second later rose a young woman with red hair, green eyes and glasses.

"Hi, Lilly" The woman said in a pained voice, rubbing the back of your head "How can I help you?"

"Good afternoon" Lilly said "What happened just now? I heard a strange sound"

"It's nothing" she responded "I just hit my head. See, I dropped an eraser under my deask and while I was looking for it a pencil dropped and when I was looking for both of them you came and surprised me"

"Are you alright?" Lilly's voice was full of concern "I'm sorry, I couldn't know-"

"It's okay!" the librarian interuppted her "It's okay. Sorry for making you worry. This is nothing, I've had worse happen to me"

Sheesh, I thought I was a little neurotic.

THe librarian chuckled a little awkwardly, shuffled some papers (which in the silence was also awkwardly loud) before speaking again "Oh, Lilly! Did you get my message?"

Lilly had to think for moment before answering "You mean the two imported books that arrived?"

The librarian flashed her first smile. She actually had a nice smile "Right! Right! They finally came! I can't believe it took so long, but..." she stops speaking as she seems to notice me for the first time.

"Um... Hi"

The librarian yelped as if I had yelled at her "Oh, I'm sorry for not noticing you before! Did you need to check out a book? Or return? I'm sorry!"

My voice fumbles to make a response "Uhh..."

"He's with me" Lilly speaks "Yuuko, this is Kaito, a new student. Kaito, this is Yuuko, the school librarian"

"Hi" I said again

"Kaito" Yuuko says as if she were commiting my name to memory "Right. Kaito. Pleased to meet you, Kaito" she bows in greeting.

"Yuuko often arranges to import foreign books in Braille for me" Lilly said to me, before speaking to Yuuko "Would you like to tell Kaito a little something about the library?"

Yuuko gave her a look of terror, which I could sympathise with "I... Please Lilly, I can't. I don't know what he could be interested in. This is too much responsibility"

I was starting to relate to Yuuko the more I saw her fluster and panic. Not wanting to put her through any more stress, I just said "Books" and left to peruse the aisles.

The library was definitely bigger than it looked at first glance. I was trying to memorise the way I came just so didn't get lost, but I was inevitably lost in the sea of books. I loved to read. I loved words, written words anyway. They were simpler to understand. I was at peace here. A library was a library after all, no matter how much Braille you put into it. Libraries were familiar. Familiar was good.

I eventually found myself in a quiet corner of the library, where I found someone I actually recognised: the dark-haired girl from class. The one that snuck out. She was reading a book, keeping it really close to her face. I found myself drawn to the her.

Finding another beanbag, I sat down and layed all the books I had collected beside it. The girl visibly jumped, looking up at me from underneath her fringe which fell over her face.

Her eyes reminded me of a deer that I once saw. Big, round and absolutely terrified. I found myself subconsciously rubbing the scar on my head. I didn't mean to scare her.

"Sorry!" I quickly said "I didn't mean... Sorry"

"It... It's okay" the girl said

"Can I..." I try and form my question "I mean is it okay I stay, um, sit here?"

She stares at me a little, her expression only relaxing in the slightest way "Oh... Okay"

I gave her a small smile as thanks "I, um... I'm Kaito"

"I... I know" she said "We... are in the same... same class. H-H-Hanako. I'm... Hanako"

I nodded and started to read, only to be sidetracked by a detail on the back of Hanako's hand.

She had scars. Different from mine, maybe burns, like those in the pictures we saw when we were taught about fire saftey in school. I found them mesmerising. Peculiar patterns burned into her skins. I gave her another look, she had similar burns on her face as well, hidden under her fringe.

It's only when she stares into my eyes that I realised I was making her uncomfortable.

"Why did you leave class?" I blurted out the question without thinking.

She stood like she'd been shocked and said "Ivegottogodosomething!" and ran, a full-blown sprint in the direction of the door.

I cursed my blunder and went to go follow, determined to apologise. But by the time I reached the counter she was long gone.

Lilly and Yuuko were still talking, although it seemed that Hisao had arrived and joined the conversation.

"Did you see her?" I asked them in between pants (I was really out of shape).

"Huh?" The three of them turned to look at me.

"A girl" I panted "Did you see her pass?"

"Um, maybe" Yuuko said "What did she look like?"

"Dark hair. Kinda shy. She had burns or something on her face"

Lilly just sighed "You wouldn't be talking about Hanako, would you?"

I nodded "I saw her reading. I... I tried to talk to her but I... I scared her"

"Oh dear" Lilly sighed "Yuuko, would you excuse me, I had better try and find her"

"Sure" Yuuko nodded "I'll just hold on to these until you come back"

"Um," Hisao spoke "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry," Lilly said "But I'll have to explain some other time"

"Right" Hisao looked a little confused, and maybe a little dejected "I'll see you later then"

Lilly quickly grabbed her cane and rushed out the door, leaving us with Yuuko.

"I don't think I'll ever get the hang of this place" Hisao sighed.

"What do you mean?" Yuuko asked

"Everyone here's a little..." Hisao seemed to struggle to find the word

"Different?" I suggested

"Strange?" was Yuuko's

Hisao just shrugged with a defeated exhale. "I don't know how to live here and deal with these people. Forcing myself to act overly casual only makes me feel phony"

I could sort of understand his frustration. I hadn't spent that much time around others with special needs either, but then again I wasn't a very sociable person to begin with. My skills were always lacking.

"It's like..." Hisao continued, making vain gestures with his hands as if they would better explain his problem "It's like I'm meant to ignore the elephant in the room"

Yuuko fidgets a little, as if she wanted to speak, but was nervous to do so. Her voice came quietly, but the words didn't hold any less truth "I think it's only an elephant if you feel that way"

I smiled at her. She was a little wiser than his demeanour would have you believe.

She blushed "What? Did that stupid"

"It was smart" I said

"I guess the problem lies with me then" Hisao calmly admits.

Silence followed, only broken by Yuuko shuffling the papers around on her desk. A oddly relaxing noise.

"Did you find any books?" she asked me "I should be closing soon. I mean this library should be closing, have to do it. I hope that's not too inconvenient for you"

"I, uh..." I looked back to the bookshelf maze, knowing that my books had been left somewhere within. Another day maybe. "No"

Hisao quickly went to get a pile of books. They day was late so we returned to the dorm together.

We ran into Kenji in the corridors, or rather he ran into us. His head darted back and forth, as if he was expecting bad to happen.

"Hey," Hisao spoke "It's just us"

Kenji licked his lips nervously "Who is us? I don't know anyone called us? Are you some new guy again?"

"We met yesterday" Hisao reminded him, sharing a befuddled look with me. My own expression wasn't very different.

"I don't think so," Kenji said adamantly "I would remember someone who I only met yesterday. What day is it?"

"Thursday, I think?" I said. I admittedly had lost track of the days as well.

Kenji ignored me "Prove that we've met before!"

"You live across the hall" Hisao said "You're Kenji"

Kenji jumped back, his look fearful "How do you know my name? Are you a spy?"

Now I was very confused. I was trying to keep up, I honestly was. But I was losing track of the conversation's pulse, and thus interest. So I left, leaving Hisao to deal with Kenji alone.

"Where are you going?" Hisao called after me

"My room" I explained. Then I closed the door.

As I went to bed that night, Hanako's face remained in my mind.

Tomorrow, I said to myself. Tomorrow I'll apologise.


	4. Chapter 4

**"An apology is the superglue of life! It can repair just about anything!"** \- Lynn Johnston

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. I upset a girl. Her name was Hanako. I'm going to apologise today.

I was tired. I woke up early today. I wanted to remember Hanako. I even drew her in a sketch. Was that weird?

She came in ten minutes later than everyone else. I was confused why no one thought it was weird, but I will not ask. The question upset her so I will not ask her.

The teacher spoke again. We were to look in groups. Hisao, Misha and Shizune again it seemed.

Shizune and Misha were talking to Hisao about something. I wasn't really paying attention, rather I was looking around the classroom, trying not to stare at Hanako for too long. I didn't want to scare her.

I was thinking, trying to rehearse my apology:  
Hi, I'm Kaito (No, she knows who I am)  
Hi Hanako, I-

"Kaito?" came a voice. It was Misha "What are you doing?"

"Hanako" I said without thinking.

"What about Hanako?" she asked

"She's alone"

"Do you feel sorry that she's alone?"

"Yeah. Can she work with us?"

"No" her voice was surprsingly final "I don't think that would be a good idea"

"Why not?" I was confused

"Shicchan wouldn't get along with her"

That seemed mean, so I asked again "Why not?"

Misha laughed again, which I felt was inappropriate, even if was thankfully being quieter than usual. "Just because, Kaito"

"That's not an answer" I protested.

Shizune and Hisao take notice at this point. Shizune signed something "What Shicchan?" Misha reacted "The friend of my enemy is my enemy? That sound so harsh. I'm not going to say that"

"You said it anyway" Hisao noted

"I know" Misha smiled for some reason before translating Shizune's next sentence "We should start answering the problems now"

So they got back to work. I did try to help out this time, although I still only managed the smallest contribution.

As class ended for lunch and Shizune and Misha broke into an argument about good places for lunch, I saw Hanako still sitting in her chair. She was staring at the open door, as if expecting something, or someone.

This was my chance. I got up and marched over to her. "H-Hi Hanako"

"Kai... Kaito?" she reacted like I had just dropped out of the sky.

I just stood there, my mind blank from my nerves "I... uh..."

Hanako doesn't even blink, her violet eyes locked with mine in an awkward staring contest.

"Sorry!" I said louder than I meant, making her flinch "I'm sorry I scared you. I, uh, didn't mean to"

"It's, uh... Its-"

"I mean, I'm new and I'm not very good at this, I mean I'm not good with people and I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable..." I stopped to take a breath, only to lose my train of thought (what little there was anyway) I just hung my head in shame "I'm sorry"

"It's... It's okay" Hanako said "It... It was my fault"

"No" I shook my head "It was mine. I'm sorry"

She kept staring at the door "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Y-Yes..." she nodded "Lilly"

"Lilly" My mind strained to remember her "The blonde blind one?"

A nod was my response.

"You're...friends?"

"Y-Yes" She started fidgeting again. I was making her nervous again.

"I'm weird" I said by way of apology, hanging my head "I don't mean to make you nervous"

"N-no," she shakes her head "That's not it. It's easier if Lilly doesn't come here"

"Why?"

"It's... uh..." she starts to say, looking past me in Shizune's direction.

"Shizune?"

She nodded.

""The friend of my enemy is my enemy"" I muttered, remembering her words "They're enemies?"

She shook her head. Did that mean yes or no?

"Hey Lilly" came Hisao's voice. Hanako and I both looked to the door. Lilly had arrived. Hisao had already moved to go speak with her.

"Hello, Hisao" Lilly nods at the boy.

Hanako gets up and moves to the blonde's side in a blur "Lilly" she smiled.

"Ah, Hanako. Good morning" Lilly spoke "Shall we be off?"

"Um... Hi Lilly" I said, making my way over.

"My my, is that Kaito as well?" she responds

"Uh, yes" I speak, still trying not to make eye contact.

"It's good to speak with you. How are you today?"

"Um, good. I uh, spoke to Hanako. Said sorry"

She nods, her expression pleased "Excellent"

"Um... Lilly" Hanako spoke

Lilly nodded in acknowledgement "Okay then. I'm sorry Kaito, Hisao, but we must be off"

"Mind if I accompany you two?" Hisao asked

Lilly smiled "I'm sure that we could accomodate you, can't we, Hanako?"

Hanako looked at Lilly, then at Hisao, her eyes wide "S...Sure"

"Can I come?" I asked, before adding hurriedly "It's okay if I can't I mean it's already the three of you I'd understand if-"

Lilly cut me off, her words much clearer than mine "Of course. The more the merrier, right Hanako?"

Hanako still looked uncomfortable "Okay"

"Are you sure? I mean I know I'm not the best company-"

"You're fine" Lilly assured me. "Shall we go?"

A part of me still felt bad for speaking up. Hanako looked like she was about to have a heart attack. But I had been accepted. Saying no now would just be weird.

So off we went, all four of us together. Hanako practically clung to Lilly as they walked. Lilly seemed not to mind though. She was nicer than I feared.

Around the corner we went, when something sped past me and plowed into Hisao, knocking him flat. Hanako shrieked a little, even I made an involuntary noise.

"Ouch" Hisao groaned.

The thing that hit him was a girl. She was short, with lightish brown(?) hair, big green eyes and a PE uniform. She also had two fake legs. Despite that, the girl bounced to her feet with alarming speed.

"Aw man..." she said, speaking as quickly as she moved "Hey, are you alright? I'm sorry about that, really! I wasn't looking where I was going, and you just came out of nowehere. Sorry... Sorry!"

Hisao smiled with a pained grimace, rubbing his chest with his hand "Don't worry about it... ow" He went quiet for a moment, the look on his face painful and reddening.

"Hey," the girl said "Should I get a nurse?"

Hisao's face relaxed as he looked at her "No need, I'm fine"

"You looked sore" I noted.

The other boy steadily got to his feet and took a deep breath "I said I'm fine. Nothing's broken. No harm done"

"That's good!" the girl sighed

"What happened?" Lilly asked the air "Kairo? Hisao?" She sounded worried.

"Someone ran into Hisao" I explained "Looked sore"

"I'm just winded" Hisao said "Nothing serious"

"Er, sorry, it's my fault" the stranger spoke "I was just going to get some stuff, and I was in a kind of a hurry"

"That "someone" is Emi, isn't it?" Lilly asked

The girl coughed quietly and shuffled awkwardly on her feet "Hi, Lilly. Hanako"

"Do please try to be more careful" Lilly spoke in a tone that reminded me of one of my old teachers "You might be sturdy enough to endure these sorts of accident, but there are people who aren't"

"I know that!" The girl (sorry, Emi) spoke like a scolded child "I was just... Aah! I gotta go! Teacher'll have my head, I promised to help with printouts but I went running instead! Sorry, but I've gotta change and everything!" and like that, she was gone. The hallway silent once again.

"She's fast" I broke the silence.

"Does that kind of thing happen often around here?" Hisao asked Lilly

"There are more rules in Yamaku than usual for running in corridors" she explained with a sigh "But that rarely stops Emi, it seems. I don't think there's anything we can do to stop her, I'm afraid. Shall we be off, then?"

Thankfully, nothing else happened as we walked. We eventually came to the room where I first met Lilly. She explained that she and Hanako often had lunch here. I liked it. It was quiet. I liked quiet, at least the peaceful kind.

We all sit down as Lilly pours tea for us all. Everyone sat differently. Lilly sat with her eyes closed, a relaxed smile framing her features. Hisao was hunched forward, hands clasped with a thoughtful look. Hanako stared at the table, looking as still as stone. I could see the scars on her face underneath her hair. I was utterly fascinated by them, but I was still trying hard not to stare.

"Sorry" I said in the silence.

Hanako looked at me, but it was Lilly who responded "Whatever for, Kaito?"

"We're new" I said "We're different. Change. I know it's a bit... weird" I was trying to apologise to Hanako. I had the feeling that if Hisao and I weren't here, she'd be a lot more relaxed.

"Don't be silly, Kaito" Lilly smiled "Hanako and I are happy to have the both of you today. Isn't that right Hanako?"

Hanako looked at Lilly, then at me before speaking in a quiet voice "Yes"

Lilly nodded as if the matter was settled, then spoke to Hisao "How are you faring in Yamaku, Hisao? You seemed a bit flustered before"

"Apart from getting lost every now and again, and being crash-tackled outside my classroom? Fine I guess..."

"You..." Hanako spoke "You looked pretty hurt before. Are you really...okay?

Hisao went quiet for a moment "Yeah, it's nothing. I was just a bit startled"

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling there was more to it than that.

"Yes" Hisao said, his voice certain.

I nodded in acceptance. My attention was diverted from the conversation by my cup, which made a funny noise when I ran a finger around its rim. It didn't seem like much time had passed before the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch.

"I guess I'd better be off" Lilly said as she packed away her lunch "Are you going to go with Hisao and Kaito, Hanako?"

Hanako looked like a deer in the headlights, but finally she said "Y-Yes"

Hisao nodded "We should hurry then. Class has already started by the sound of it"

So the four of us walked out together, stopping at class 3-2 for some reason. Oh yeah, this was Lilly's class.

"Hisao, Kaito, thank you for sharing lunch with us today" she said

"It was a pleasure, Lilly" Hisao responded

"Yeah" I added

Lilly went inside, leaving the three of us alone. Hanako looked like she was ready to run in the opposite direction.

"Let's go" I said.

"Do you really want to go back to class now?" Hisao asked Hanako.

"Y-Yes" she said

"Good" I smiled "Let's go"

It seemed like we were late. Mutou opened his mouth to say something, however his gaze landed on Hanako and he just nodded and went back to speaking to the class.

Hanako was weird. Everyone seemed to ignore her. Even the teachers.

Eventually the day ended, and I left class not really knowing what to do with myself. With nothing to do, I went to the library and stayed there until closing time.

I never saw Hanako, which I thought was weird. And maybe a little disappointing, although I don't why I would feel that.


	5. Chapter 5

**"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another"** \- Charles Dickens

* * *

I woke up a bit early today. I worked a little on my sketch before heading out, running into Hisao (not literally, of course) along the way. He was dressed in some kind of sport attire and looked red in the face.

"What happened to you?"

"Went for a run" he explained.

I nodded and left him alone, going for a stroll.

* * *

I was the second person to arrive at class, Hisao being the first. He looked like he was ready to kill a man with his bare hands.

"What happened to you?"

"It's been a long morning" he said as if that explained everything "I just had to deal with Kenji"

"Who?"

He gave me a weird look. I think I was meant to know who Kenji was "Kenji," Hisao said again "Lives in 117. Thick glasses, wears a scarf, is a complete conspiracy nut?"

I shook my head. I still didn't remember, although now I could understand why Hisao looked frustrated. Conspiracy theorists were an annoying bunch.

So I sat at my desk, next to him. Hisao's head drooped as if he was napping, leaving me to my own devices until class started.

I was tracing my finger around a knot in the desk when I heard a noise in the doorway.

"Excuse me" It was Lilly "Is there anyone here?"

"Good morning, Lilly" Hisao said, his head shooting up.

"Hi Lilly" I added

Lilly almost jumped in surprise "Hisao? Kaito? Good morning. I didn't hear you earlier"

"Hisao was napping" I explained "I was... distracted. Never saw you"

"You didn't have to tell her that" Hisao grumbled

"Have either of you seen Hanako today, by any chance?" she asked

"No, she seems to come in just before the bells ring. Or after that" Hisao said

"Do you want us to take a message?" I said.

"No, it's fine" Lilly smiled "It's strange, but I think we're the only three people in the school right now"

"I shouldn't have gotten up so early, then" Hisao sighed

"You're chastising yourself for doing something that other people should?" Lilly arched an eyebrow "Punctuality is a good thing. It's a very busy morning today. The festival is coming up soon, and today is the deadline for event registration, budget reports and any other official paperwork. It could be that everyone is trying to complete the necessary forms at the last minute. Maybe that's why it's so quiet today"

The door was flung open with a massive SLAM followed by an ear-splitting "Hi hi!"

"Misha" I grumbled

"Hi boys!" Misha called to us, Shizune unsurprisingly standing behind her.

"Hey" we both said hello at once in a monotonous grunt.

Shizune signed something once she noticed Lilly "Look, it's the class representative! Hello!" Misha translated with a smile.

Lilly smiled "Good morning"

Shizune made a smug face "Of course, you're not the representative of this class, right? Right?"

"I'm not" she agreed, a harsher edge to her voice. Enemies indeed.

"You're here early, Shizune" Hisao noted

"You were here even earlier than us!" was the reply. Misha then started speaking again as Shizune turned to Lilly "Class rep! It's a good thing you're here! We have to talk. The festival is coming up in three days, right? Every other class has already handed in their projected budget reports for their events! Even the first-years! Except you! Wahaha!"

"There is still time to hand it in, isn't there?" Lilly responded

"Today! The deadline is today! You're certainly taking your time, aren't you? If I had it my way, I'd have all of the necessary paperwork days ago, but someone had to say "the deadline, please extend it!""

"Yes, that was me" Lilly admitted "Planning something on this scale is not a small task, and a week is too small a time frame to expect a whole class to work out such a complex issue completely"

"Do you want to know what's harder than distributing the funds for one class event? Handling the same matter for every class in the school and then some! The one who does that is me!" Misha seemed to be getting more and more emotional on Shizune's behalf.

"Hey, Shizune, aren't you being a little too hard on her?" Hisao spoke up "There's still a whole day left"

"Please, Hisao" Lilly sighed "It's alright" She then spoke to Shizune again "If this is about the budget then I'm disappointed you think I have forgoten about it. I understand how important it is"

"Then can I have it, please?" Misha demanded on Shizune's behalf.

"I don't think she has it" I said "Not right now anyway"

"It's not here right now" Lilly admitted "I asked two students to take care of it for me. Students from my class" She put a weird amount of emphasis on that last sentence.

It it were possible, Shizune's frown got even bigger "It was your responsibility! A budget report isn't something you should just be delegating away; as class rep, it's your job to be on top of things! This kind of disregard for proper procedure is really just terrible!"

"They completed it, being capable of doing so, but the students have been sick recently, so they could not come to school and give it back to me" she explained "If you want, I will apologise on their behalf for getting sick"

"Okay!" Misha smiled, although Shizune just seemed to get angrier. As such, Misha was translating her words with a tone that didn't seem to fit her words anymore "Lilly, don't they live here at the school? That's a five minute walk, you know. What could they possibly have that prevents them from taking five minutes out of their busy lives to drop off something that will affect the enjoyment of their entire class?"

Lilly goes to speak, but she was stopped by Shizune, who was signing at speeds that even Misha was having trouble conveying her words properly "And what's with that attitude! I said that it's not something you should be delegating away; are you the class representative or aren't you? Tell me the names of those two students, they should have your job if you can't even handle something this simple yourself"

"One form isn't the full extent of what I am supposed to take care of" Lilly retorted.

Shizune was smiling now, although it wasn't very warm "Of course, you do so much class rep! It must be so difficult being you!"

"I was actually just discussing the budget report before you came by" Lilly said "You must be very talented to have to have finished all your student council duties so quickly that you can track me down to make sure I don't forget my own"

I was pretty sure that was meant to be sarcasm, given the look on Lilly's face. Shizune seemed to take it as such as her reply was "Are you accusing me of slacking off? It seems like you're confusing me with yourself!"

"I don't think so. That would be a very difficult thing for me to do; comparing myself to you"

"You're right, the difference between us is like heaven and hell"

"And it's not hard to guess which one you might represent"

Burn.

Even Misha was realising that she translating a full blown argument now, her smile wavering.

"Hicchan! Kaito! Don't you slack off either!"

"What?" I said

"What are you talking about?" Hisao seemed to be as confused as I was

"Aren't you taking part in the festival? You are, aren't you? The both of you? Then I hope you're going to do a lot more to make sure it goes smoothly than this person!"

"We just got here!" I spluttered, unsure how to deal with this sudden dump of responsibility.

"It's not like we could do much, even if we wanted to" Hisao shrugged.

"That's right" Lilly seemed to be supporting us "You shouldn't expect transfer students to jump right into this on their first week"

"Yeah" Hisao said "You're being unreasonable with us all"

Shizune signed with a frown "Excuses, excuses. Miss Class Rep has had plenty of time to deal with her report. And you have been repeatedly offered a place to help with the student council work, but you have refused to commit to making the festival a success"

"Yeah, but as I said back then, I'm not sure if..."

"Enough!" I barked "I have a headache!"

Hisao sighed "Fine" before speaking to Lilly "Lilly, class is going to be starting soon, so we can talk more later. I'll tell Hanako you were looking for her"

"Thank you, Hisao" she nodded "I'll leave now, then" and with the warmest smile I've ever seen on her face, she left.

Shizune, on the other hand, had a stare that chilled my blood.

* * *

Hanako never came to class that morning.

When the final bell rang, Shizune and Misha finally deigned to speak to Hisao and I.

"Uhhh! I'm so tired!" Misha complained.

"Festival preparations must be tough for you" Hisao said. My guess was he was trying to avoid the impending argument.

Shizune scoffed before signing "Well of course, we're in the Student Council you know, so we're pretty busy. It's an important duty of ours, to ensure the success of the festival with all our strength. We would shame ourselves in front of the past student council generations if the festival were to fail. That's why there must be no flaws, no... err, I think that was "incumbrances" (Misha muddled the signs there), no nothing that might make the festival short of perfect"

I had stopped listening. I saw Hanako walk through the door.

Misha noticed too, reacting with a jesting "Hey! Playing delinquent again?"

Hanako blushed, only to back out and hide behind the door-frame when Shizune stared.

"Hi, Hanako" I said, rising from my chair "What's up?"

"H...Has Lilly been here?" she asked

"Sorry, haven't seen Satou" Misha shrugged "She, eh, came by in the morning though"

I was a little irritated by Shizune, who just kept staring at her. Didn't she know that she hated that?

"Do...Do you know where she is?" Hanako asked in a trembling voice

Shizune pouted as she signed "If she has any sense in her head, she's in her classroom, working on their festival project. But who knows where that woman is loitering at"

"You need to find her?" Hisao ignored Shizune's comment "She was looking for you in the morning but I guess you must have missed each other"

"Y...Yeah"

"Let's go" I said, moving to the door "We can find her together"

"I'll come too" Hisao said as well "If it's okay"

Hanako gave a small nod of the head, which we took as a yes.

"It's dinnertime soon. Were you planning to eat with Lilly?" he asked her

She nodded.

I could understand why she'd feel she needed Lilly for dinner. The cafeteria was more crowded during lunch, but dinner still had a large crowd and it lasted even longer.

So the three of us left together. Hisao and I had to slow down so Hanako wouldn't be left behind. I was enjoying myself, but I was a little saddened that Hanako kept as far from us, from me, as possible. I guess she still wasn't very comfortable with us yet.

We checked the cafeteria. The crowd was smaller, but Lilly was nowhere to be seen. Hanako seems to shrink even further into herself, which didn't help her already diminuative frame.

"We'll find her" I assured her "Where else would she be?"

"N-Not sure" she admitted "I was reading... in the library"

"I like the library too" I smiled.

"If I had to guess, she'd be in her own class like Shizune said" Hisao theorised "Right?"

"R-Right" Hanako said

So we made our way up there. I was content with the silence. Hisao, on the other hand, was trying to make small talk "So you and Lilly usually hang out together after class, right?"

"Y-Yes"

"Must be a pain being in different classes, I'm guessing"

She nodded "Lilly... comes by the classroom, though. Even when she's busy..." she said with a small smile. I thought it was cute.

"That's nice of her" I noted.

As we climbed the stairs, a group of students passed us. They kept to themselves, but Hanako still hid herself from them, staying close to me, since I was taller.

"You okay?" I asked her

"J-Just keep going..." she whispered

Even after they're gone she doesn't move away, not even as we climb to the third floor. I thought I was shy and sometimes nervous, but I was beginning to realise Hanako's anxiety was on a completely different level.

When we came to Lilly's classroom we were met by an overwhelming amount of noise. I made an uncomfortable grunt in the back of my throat.

"What's up with you?" Hisao asked me.

"Lot of noise in there" I grumbled

"Can't be helped" he shrugged "At least we know there's a good chance she's in there" Hisao opened the door. I prepared myself for the noise, while Hanako seemed to take cover behind me.

Inside was a chaotic bundle of activity, everyone running around working on their own separate tasks. The noise was deafening.

"Must be working on the festival stuff" Hisao wondered aloud, although how I heard him over the noise of everyone else confounds me.

Where was Lilly? Hisao's pointed at something. I guess he found her.

Upon reflection, she wasn't that hard to find; her blonde hair made her stand out and everyone seemed to come and go from her like she was in charge. We had to carefully weave our way through the crowd to make our way to her.

"Hi, Lilly" Hisao called to her.

Lilly looked up, looking around to find the source of the voice "Sorry, who..."

"It's Kaito and Hanako" I spoke "That was Hisao"

"H-Hi"

Lilly nodded, and spoke to the girl that she was speaking with "For the moment, just ask Moriya for his advice. Kenji's busy with painting one of the banners already" before turning to us "Sorry about that. Our class doesn't have many students with even partial eyesight, so they're in high demand"

"I love painting!" I blurted out. Painting and other art was something I always did in the hospital to pass the time. The doctors always gave me whatever I needed because it improved my dexterity (apparently).

"We could always give a hand if you'd like" Hisao volunteered

"Wanna join us?" I turned to Hanako. I had a very large grin on my face. She nodded, and my smile got even bigger "Great!"

Lilly sighed with relief "Ah, that's good. This might actually get finished before everyone goes off to dinner now. Would you be able to help the person painting the main banner? It's a big task for him to do, but nobody else can help"

"Kenji? Sure" Hisao said

Lilly looked surprised "I take it you've met?"

"We all have rooms next to each other. Hard to miss each other, really" he answered

"Well, it's good to see you're getting friends so fast" she smiled.

Hisao made a grim, forced smile. "Sure. Friends"

"Isn't he the conspiracy nu-" I started to say before Hisao put a hard elbow into my side.

"Let's go help him then" Hisao spoke over me "He knows what he needs doing, right?"

Lilly nodded "That's right. Just ask if you have any questions"

I practically skipped over to where Kenji and the banner where, now oblivious to the noise. Painting was one of my most absolute favourite things to do. Painting was familiar. Familiar was good.

We found Kenji, staring at his banner with intense concentration while he worked "Hey, Kenji" Hisao greeted him with only half the enthusiasm.

"What's up man?" he sprung to his feet "What're you doing here?"

"We were going to help with the banner" I explained, restlessly tapping my foot.

"Who's "we""

"Kaito, Hanako and I" Hisao elaborated

"H...Hello..." Hanako spoke up, coming out from behind me.

"Oh" Kenji looked suspiscious "I guess that's okay"

We all knelt down around the banner. The banner read "Class 3-2 Noodle Stand".

"You guys selling noodles at the festival?" Hisao asked, seemingly insistant on making conversation.

"Yeah, some stalls outside. Or something" Kenji answers

"Can we start now?" I asked, eager to get started.

"How do you want to split this?" Hisao asked Kenji "We do the borders and you do the text? Or do you want to swap and do the borders?"

"Text is mine. You do borders" he said very firmly.

And like that, we got to work. I was loving it. I lost myself in the work, deaf to everything around me.

It wasn't long before I was tapped by the lighest hand on my arm. It was Hanako of all people. "What?" I asked, a little harsher than I really meant to be. I wanted to keep painting.

"Finished" she said quietly.

I looked down at the banner. Everyone was finished. If I had painted any more I would have ruined the pattern "Oh. Sorry". I rose to my feet, helping Hanako up in the process.

I stared at the scar on her hand, noticing that they also ran up her wrist. How far did it go?

She quickly covered her wrist with another hand "Sorry" I said. I had stared.

"Looks good, doesn't it?" Hisao smiled, staring down at the banner.

"It does...I guess" Hanako said

"It looks great" I smiled at her.

Her own smile was small, but just as special.

We went back to Lilly. "We've finished the banner" Hisao said "I guess that's all that needs to be done?"

Lilly nodded "Thank you Hisao, all of you. If there's any way I can thank you...?"

"It's fine" Hisao shrugged "Beats sitting in my room studying, at any rate"

"I love to paint" I said

"I don't mind either" Hanako also said, her voice clearer due a significant lack of people in the class now.

Lilly nodded "Is Kenji still here?"

"Yeah, just finished!" came his voice from the other end of the room, before leaving his finished work to dry and leaving. The rest of the people remaining started to leave as well, until only Lilly, Hisao, Hanako and I were left.

"I guess that's everyone" Hisao spoke

"I hope we don't have to do anything like that again" Lilly sighed.

"But painting's lots of fun" I complained, thinking she meant that.

"I think she means working late" Hisao corrected me "Right?"

She nodded "Indeed. The class's plans this year were ambitious. Maybe too ambitious"

"The stalls look nice, though" Hanako spoke

"Yeah!" I agreed with her

Lilly smiled "My my, I'm sure a lot of us would be glad to hear that. At least now there's not much work to do until the festival itself"

"Umm..." Hanako spoke up again "It's getting pretty late. Should we go?"

"That's probably a good idea" Lilly nodded "Are you going back the dorms as well, boys?"

"May as well" I yawned

"Guess we'll tag along" Hisao said

I was never fond of the dark, but the walk between the school building and the dorms was quite calm and relaxing with company. The only sounds to hear was out footsteps and the tapping of Lilly's cane.

Hisao yawned. "Tired?" Lilly asked him

"Yeah" he admitted "Still getting used to the flow of things, I guess. The...uh...thing with Shizune was a little...uh..."

"Annoying" I suggested

"Surprising" Hisao said instead.

"I'm sorry about it being so public" Lilly said with a long sigh "Shizune and I... go back some ways"

Wow, I didn't think it was possible be angered by words alone, but Lilly seemed to get irritated just saying Shizune's name.

"I'll be glad once the festival is over, in any case" she continued

"I can imagine" Hisao shrugged "My old school's festivals were a lot more low-key than this"

I, personally, could not remember the festivals at my old school. I remembered lots of things, but not that. Did we even have festivals?

"Yamaku stresses the idea of a school community, so the staff likes to make our festivals and such special occasions" she explained

"Then why do the kids do it?" I asked

"It's an unfair world" Hisao said jokingly.

The girls chuckled at his comment. I wasn't quite sure what the joke was though.

"I suppose coming from a strict all-girls school helped me a bit with Yamaku" Lilly theorised "Compared to there, Yamaku is much more relaxed"

Eventually we came to the dorms and had to bid the girls goodbye

"See you Lilly, Hanako" Hisao said

"Bye" I gave a small wave.

The girls nodded in farewell and left. Hisao and I entered the boys dorm, bid each other goodnight and went to sleep.

I slept like a rock.


	6. Chapter 6

**"The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect"** \- Brene Brown

* * *

It was weird, but I was in class before Hisao today.

Class went on without much fuss, although Mutou stopped his lecture halfway through the speech as he remembered something:

"So, as you know, the festival is on the day after tomorrow. I hope everyone's projects are going to be successful this year. Have a good time, but also come Sunday, please keep the meaning of this festival in your minds..."

"Games and fried food!" Misha called out.

Everyone laughed at that.

"Yes, thank you Mikado" Mutou sighed "But I what I meant was more the-"

The lunch bell rings and drowned out what remained of his sentence. So he gave up and went back to his seat.

I lost sight of Hisao on the way out, so I just decided to go back to my room.

With nothing better to do, I got back to work on my drawing. I only had a pencil to work with but I was happy with how it was going.

Hanako was an interesting subject. The monotone colours of graphite on paper probably suited her best, bringing out her pale skin and dark hair.

I was shading in the scars on the back of her hand when a question formed in my mind:

What did her burns feel like?

I glanced at the clock. Class starts again soon.

* * *

The day ends and so I leave for the library. Hisao was there too, talking to Yuuko.

"Hi" I greeted them

Yuuko almost jumped "Kaito! Hello! I'm sorry, I never saw you there! How can I help you?"

Taken a little aback, it took me a while to form an answer "Uh... I'm just going to look for books"

"Me too" Hisao said "We know where everything is. We'll be fine"

The pair of us went off into the aisles together "Where you looking for anything in particular?" Hisao asked me

"No. I was just looking around. I just like to be here sometimes"

"I know what you mean" he smiled "It's... quiet, isn't it"

I nodded "Some places are a bit too noisy"

Hisao stopped walking and pulled a book out of the shelf "Well, this is what I was looking for" he waved it a little so I would see it "I'll see you later?"

"Sure"

And so he left, while I explored a bit more. It seemed every time I came to the library I found an as-of-yet unexplored corner. I even found a collection of books translated into english, which I thought was weird, but cool. I could read english, courtesy of my dad, but it had been such a long time ago since I had spoken it.

I thought back to my old home with my parents. Growing up I had never fit in very well. I was taller than everyone my age and my features were very not-japanese. Even my name didn't seem to fit. Smith. An english name. Not japanese. My parents always told me to never feel ashamed of looking different. I was Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I had a bloodline that spanned the globe, the best of the west and east.

After those days, I began to realise that they were things that made me better. I was naturally bigger and stronger than the other boys my age and I could speak and read both japanese and english fluently.

Then the accident happened, and I was made even more different. I was overcome with a wave of sadness so badly that I sank to the floor and sat there for a long time, staring at nothing, lost in my own little world.

"Um..." came a quiet voice, bringing me out of my own mind. I looked up to find the source: Yuuko.

"Sorry, but I have to close the library" she spoke as if she was having her arm twisted. "Are you okay?"

I stared at her for a while. She squirmed a little under my gaze "I...don't really fit in anywhere" I finally said "I always looked different. After..." I raised my fake hand and stared at it "This, I fit in even less. It just hit me that I don't really belong anywhere" I felt weird inside. I wasn't sad anymore, but there was a big feeling of, well, I guess I would call it "nothing" inside me. An empty feeling that was neither cold or warm, not sad nor happy. Just nothing. Is this what being dead felt like?

"I..." Yuuko spoke "I can't begin to understand what has happened to you in your life. But...if you like...Yamaku can be a new start. A place to belong. No one here is really "normal", in the standard way of thinking, after all"

Something she said resonated with me. I'm not sure why, but I felt better. I stood up, said "Thank you" and went back to my dorm. It was really late, so I went to sleep.

I slept very deeply that night. Memories of my parents filled my dreams.

* * *

The next day passed as usual. I seemed to be the only one who got a decent nights sleep. The class was of dark baggy eyes and sluggish movement. Even Mutou looked more like a zombie than a teacher. He just scrawled something on the wall and slumped into his chair.

Shizune and Misha weren't anywhere to be found, which was weird. It was quiet. I liked it.

"Nakai," came Mutou's voice "Can I speak to you for a moment? Outside?"

Hisao nodded and the two left, coming back in a few minutes "Smith?"

His voice startled me "Huh?"

"Outside please?" he asked.

Irrational fear filled me as I went outside "Did I...Did I do something wrong?"

Mutou looked surprised "No. Nothing wrong"

I exhaled with relief as he spoke some more "So, Smith, how are you?"

"Um, good?"

Mutou nodded, "I'm glad. It's only been a week so I was worried that you hadn't settled in just yet"

"Well," I spoke up "It's not all perfect yet but...I mean it's all a bit weird but... It's getting better"

I thought I was being a bit weird, but Mutou nodded like he understood me "I understand. Rest assured you will settle in. It may even feel like a second home in time. My second question: How are your studies? I know you were in hospital for a while. We're not too far ahead, are we?"

"Um, no. No, I think I can keep up"

He smiled "Just remember there if you are having troubles, know that we have a support system to help you"

I nodded "Okay"

He smiled "Well then, back inside shall we?" He opened the door and we went back in.

Class ended as it started. Quiet and with zero soul.

"Before you all leave," Mutou said "I expect the answers for those problems by Monday"

The class sighed in unison and left in a massive zombie horde. Even Mutou couldn't wait to leave.

All that was left was me, Hisao and Hanako.

Hisao was writing something while Hanako was waiting for Lilly (probably). I, on the other hand, was staying at my seat. I had been distracted by the knot on my desk again and was doodling around it. First it was the centre of a sun, then the pupil of a massive eye. I was making it into a larger pattern when Lilly appeared at the door.

"Hanako?" she said

Hanako practically ran to her. They talked for a bit before Lilly left. Weirdly, Hanako did not leave with her, taking her seat once more.

She pulled out a book and began to read. But before long she left. As did Hisao.

So, with nothing to do and my concentration on my doodles ruined, I left for the library.

I nodded a greeting to Yuuko before delving into the maze of books. It wasn't long before I ran into Hanako, settled on her beanbag

"Hi" I said as I passed her, taking a book from the bookshelf behind her and taking a seat on the beanbag opposite her.

Hanako looked at me liked I had fallen from the sky.

"New book?" I asked

"Y-Yes... I'm almost finished though"

I smiled at her "Cool" before reading my own book. I looked up for a brief moment to ask "Can I have it? When you're done?"

"S-Sure... You m-may not like it but..."

"Still want to check" I assured her "Never judge a book by its cover"

"I-I guess"

So I went back to my own book, leaving only when I had finished it to go find a new one. I still came back to the beanbag, and Hanako.

"Where did Lilly go?"

Hanako jolted a little at the sound of my voice "Lilly said she had to go and... meet someone..."

"Hmm?"

"A-Akira. Her sister..."

"Lilly has a sister?"

"She...She and Akira used to live together"

"Older or younger?"

"Um, older"

Time passed before I spoke again "Hey Hanako" she looked up at me "Are you...doing anything for the festival?"

Hanako looked like she was ready to run.

"Sorry" I rushed to apologise "I don't mean to scare it's just... I don't what to do so I thought I'd ask you and-"

"I..." Her voice made me stop "I don't know"

My shoulders slumped "I'm not good with large crowds either" I sighed as I returned to my book.

We sat there for a while, judging by the fading light. My stomach growling made me realise that I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten.

"I'm hungry" I announced, rising out of my beanbag "I'm going to find some food before bed. You wanna come with me?"

Hanako shook her head "I think I-I'll finish this first"

I nodded. "Okay. Bye"

"Kaito"

I turned back to her.

"Th-Thank you. F-For spending time with me" she said with the warmest smile I'd ever seen. Her eyes seemed to glow in the low light. They looked beautiful.

"You're welcome" I smiled back "Good...Goodnight, Hanako"

"N-Night"

I found food before bed that night, thankfully, but my last thoughts before sleep overtook my mind were of Hanako.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I made a friend. Her name is Hanako.


	7. Chapter 7

**"There's only one thing more precious than our time and that's who spend it on"** \- Leo Christopher

* * *

I woke up late. It was almost noon when I got out of bed.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. I made a friend. Her name is Hanako.

I heard lots of noise outside my window. Looking out, I saw crowds of people milling around the courtyard. The festival was today.

Emerging from my room, I saw Hisao talking to Kenji.

"Hi" I walked over to them.

"Who's that?" Kenji asked, his head jerking in my direction.

"It's just Kaito" Hisao explained.

"Have you seen all the people outside?" I asked them

"Yeah," Hisao nodded "Guess the festival's in full swing"

"They're everywhere. People, outside my window. Socialising!" Kenji seemed to ramble. He rubbed his temples, suddenly looking very ill. "It's going to be so loud now. I was going to go out, but now it's ruined, it's all ruined!"

Now he was starting to stress me out.

"You should have told me man!" he said to Hisao, his voice's volume getting louder with every word "I couldn't even brace myself and now it's here and I can't do anything about it. I mean, I could have known earlier! Imagine what I could have accomplished!"

"Sorry" Hisao said "I thought you knew. So I guess you're not going to do anything today? You should check the festival out, at least"

"I don't know" I spoke up "I don't really like big crowds"

"Neither do I!" Kenji groaned "I can't do it! They'll eat me alive out there!"

"Come on guys," Hisao said "We all worked on that class project together. I know I want to at least check that one out, and chat with Lilly I guess"

I shrugged "Okay, I guess"

"Are you crazy?" Kenji yelled, shocking my ears "That blind broad is up to no good; I can feel it in my spleen, guys. Her presence is like a dark shadow that's in the way of great vision. As expected of blind people"

What?

"What?" Hisao voiced my confusion.

"Aren't _you_ blind?" I asked him.

"Only legally" he insisted. I wasn't sure that was a major difference but I wasn't willing to argue the point "Metaphorically, I can see further than any other man. I can see the future of makind, and it's a dark one unless the threat of women is stifled"

"But women are great" I argued. Hisao stifled a laugh there. Not sure why.

"And that is why you are doomed" Kenji said "I'm going to have to find someplace to hide in, a safe haven. And then I'll have to knock myself out so that I don't have to experience this horrible day" And with that, he closed the door in our faces.

So Hisao and I went outside into the festival. The food was... meh, but at least it was cheap. There were people that weren't from the school, ranging from toddlers to the elderly.

I wiped my brow with the back of my hand "It's warm"

"Yeah," Hisao agreed with a sigh "Better keep moving before we cook"

So we kept walking. Eventually we came across the sight of a familiar banner with a blue patterned border and red text.

"There!" I pointed.

Hisao followed my finger and smiled "Good job"

We walked up to the stall, taking in all of the sight. No wonder Lilly was run so ragged organising it all. It was twice the size of other stalls, practically a small restaurant.

We go up to the counter, where we met a girl I did not recognise. She looked pretty stressed out, but was soon replaced by Lilly, who calmed her and took her place "Sorry about that," she said "We're having a few problems. What would you like?"

"Um...How about some miso soup?" Hisao asked

"Chicken, please?" I asked

Lilly's eyes opened with realisation "Ah, is that Hisao? And Kaito?"

"Yep" Hisao nodded "You're looking pretty busy"

Lilly's face seemed to deflate "Somwhere along the line, our order got mixed up. We're trying to fix it now, but it looks like we only have half of what we needed"

"Wouldn't serving smaller portions cover over the problem?" Hisao wondered

"We may have to, though I wish we didn't. The fact that a good half of our class is gone doesn't help, either. Our teacher had to leave, to see if she can't round up a few more of our classmates to help"

I looked behind Hisao and myself, a queue was forming. Ruffling through my pocket, I pulled out enough money to pay for both Hisao and I "Some money for the soup"

"Soup..." Lilly seemed confused for a moment before realising that was her job "Oh right, coming right up" She calls for a bowl of miso soup and chicken soup as I hand her the money. Satisfied, Lilly placed the money away as our soups were handed to us. We both say "Thanks", promising to bring the bowls back.

"Thank you" she said "Oh, one other thing. Have either of you seen Hanako?"

"Hanako?" I repeated

"Not today" Hisao answered "Why?"

Lilly sighed "It's okay. I was just wondering what she was doing for the festival. You'll come back when you're done?"

We both nodded "Yes" "We'll be sure to keep an eye out for Hanako" I added

"Thank you, Kaito"

We went off and found a place to have our soup.

"This isn't that bad" Hisao noted. I assumed he was referring to the soup.

I nodded with a mouthful of chicken "M-Hmph"

"Still kinda feel bad that I didn't do more to help out with the festival"

I shrugged "It's okay. I mean, what could we do? We only got here"

"I suppose you're right" he sighed.

We finished our soup and returned the bowls. Lilly's teacher seemed to have gotten the extra students, although that didn't seem to make Lilly less stressed.

"Hey Lilly" Hisao said "What to go see more of the festival?"

Lilly puffed her cheeks disapprovingly "I can't see"

Hisao's face went pale "Sorry, I-"

She giggled. I guess she was teasing "You're still not used to the school, are you? I'm sorry, but I need to stay with the stall"

That seemed fair, although Hisao seemed to be pretty insistant "Everything seems to be running fine now, though. Besides, you've got more help now, right?"

"Go on, Lils" said one of the boys standing behind the stall. One of Lilly's classmates I guessed "You've earned a break. We can hold down the fort for now"

Lilly sighed "If you're sure..."

She moved her way out from the behind the stall, cane in hand.

My thoughts went to Hanako. She was probably feeling lonely, and I was guessing Lilly was worried about her.

"I'll go find Hanako" I spoke up "You guys enjoy the festival"

Lilly's brow furrowed "Are you sure. We can all go looking for Hanako"

"You'd miss out. Go on. I never liked large crowds anyways. This place just stresses me out"

"Come on, Lilly" Hisao seemed like he agreed with me "You've earned some time to enjoy yourself"

Lilly seemed to ponder it for a moment before sighing "Okay. Tell her I asked for her, okay?"

I nodded "Sure" and went on my way. I knew where I'd find her.

* * *

As I had imagined, I found her in the library.

"Hi, Hanako" I greeted her with a warm smile.

Her face was one of surprise as she peeked at me from over her book "K-Kaito?"

"Yep. Wanted to find you. Lilly was asking for you too"

"Oh. Do you want to sit down?"

"Actually," I said, feeling my stomach growl despite my recent soup "I'm feeling kinda hungry. Want to go get some food?"

Hanako shuffled uncomfortably in her beanbag "Um...I...I brought some food so..."

"Okay" I nodded "Tea room? No one's there"

She nodded "S-Sure. Let's go" She swiftly put her book away and rose to her feet.

"Good to go?"

She nodded

"Great"

And we were off, walking side-by-side. The whole hallway seemed devoid of life. As was to be expected, everyone was at the festival.

Hanako held her bag in both hands, staring only at the ground in front of her. Her pace was uneven, every now and then taking short steps then long steps. I looked at her feet: she was only stepping on the darker tiles.

"What are you doing?" I asked

She stopped abruptly and looked at me "W-What?"

"You're only stepping on the dark ones" I noted

She blushed a little "It's uh...It's a...a game"

"A game?"

"Sometimes...when there's no one around...I only step on the darker ones"

I smiled "Cool. I thought I was the only one that noticed"

"Noticed what?"

"The tiles being different colours. It was driving me mad"

She smiled at that. I found myself smiling too "Let's keep moving"

We kept walking along, I was starting to do the game as well, feet bouncing from tile to tile. I think Hanako saw me doing so. I think she was smiling.

It was a bit noisier in the tea room than I was expecting, but there was a nice breeze coming from through the window, so didn't mind as much.

"Do...Would you like some tea?" Hanako asked

I nodded "Yes please"

I watched as she made the tea, arranging some sandwiches onto a plate for good measure. She looked...calm, which I think was a first.

As she poured a couple of cups of tea, I sais "I like it here. It's quiet"

"I...I like it too" she responded "It's like the world has forgotten this room, and b-because of that, you can forget about the outside"

I nodded. I think I understood. No one ever seemed to talk to her besides Lilly. Having a little haven to call your own must have had a certain appeal.

"Do you...Do you play chess?" she asked me out of the blue.

"Western chess?"

She nodded "Yes"

I nodded to her question "A little. I haven't played for a while though. Do you?"

"A little..." Hanako moved to the cupboard and dug out a small chess set "Do...Do you want..."

"Okay" I said brightly. I really liked chess.

It didn't take long for us to set up the board, and before long we were playing. The rules and memories came to me while I played, resurfacing as I repeated age-old tactics on the little wooden board. It was a long game, with many losses on both sides. But eventually, the game came to it's end.

"Checkmate" I said, having truly well cornered Hanako's king "That was fun. You play pretty good" I was being honest as well. She played well, if a little amateurish.

Hanako gave a small smile "Thanks"

"Does Lilly play?"

"A...A bit..." she says "T-This is the first time I've played against someone...other than her, or..." she stopped talking for some reason. I wanted to know what she was going to say, but I was afraid I'd ruin the moment.

"Well, this was nice" I said instead "It was good playing with you"

Her eyes looked back to me, her smile returned "Um...Can we play again?"

"Sure" I smiled

We were setting up the pieces when there was a noise at the door. It was Lilly and Hisao

"Good afternoon" Lilly said

"Hey, guys" Hisao nodded

"Hi" I said without looking, going back to setting the chess pieces.

Hanako didn't. She just sat there and smiled "Lilly..."

"We decided we wanted to see how you were" Lilly claimed "Have you been here since you left, Kaito?"

"Pretty much," I shrugged "We were playing chess"

"Who won?" Hisao asked

"I did" I said before realising that might have sounded a bit boastful "But...It was pretty close"

"K-Kaito was the better player" Hanako chimed in "Would you like some tea?"

"Actually," Lilly replied "I think it might be a good idea to go outside"

Hanako's smile dropped off her face like a stone. Her eyes seemed to widen just ever so slightly.

"Can't we stay here?" I asked. I didn't really want to go back to the festival either.

"It's crowded here" Lilly said "I was thinking the four of us should leave the school and head to the local teahouse"

Hisao turned to look at her "Oh, you mean that place where I met you and..."

"The S-Shanghai?" Hanako spoke

"Of course" Lilly nodded "With everyone at the festival it should be practically empty"

Hisao nodded. I seemed to be the only one who didn't know what was going on "Shanghai?"

"It's a teahouse not that far from the school" Hisao explained "I ran into Lilly once there, it's quite nice"

"Hanako and I go to it every so often" Lilly added.

Well, if they kept going back to it then I guess it couldn't be too bad. "Okay"

"I think it'll be nice" Hanako said quietly "If it's the Shanghai"

"Well then, it's settled. Let's be on our way" Lilly nodded

Hanako and I rose from the table and left with the pair. As we walked through the gates of the school and down towards the town, Hisao spoke "It's weird. I would have thought people would have started to leave by now"

"They're probably here to view the fireworks" Lilly suggested

"Fireworks?" I asked

She nodded in confirmation "Yes, apparently the school puts on quite a show. A lot of people come from town just to watch them"

As we walk down the hill, Hanako clings to Lilly's side. She barely utters a word or move her gaze from the ground in front of her. Lilly on the other hand looks as calm as ever.

I couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable outside the school grounds. Inside the school, everyone was "special" which made everyone seem normal by comparison. Outside, you're a not-normal person in the normal world. Even the uniform kind of marked us as unusual. I felt as though people were staring when I wasn't looking, trying to figure out what was wrong with us, if it wasn't already obvious.

Eventually, we arrived at the Shanghai. From outside, it seemed fairly normal. Inside, it looked a bit more old-fashioned, crafted from timber and paper from the looks of it. It was practically empty.

"No one's here" I noted aloud "Are they closed?"

There was the sound of a chair falling over, then a familiar face shoots up from inside one of the booths.

"I wasn't asleep and welcome to the Shanghai!" it was Yuuko, dressed in some kind of waitress attire. I guess she had two jobs then. Sounded like some kind of hellish punishment.

"Oh, Lilly? Hisao? Kaito? And Hanako?" she seemed surprised to see us "Welcome to the Shanghai!" she bows, causing her glasses to fall off. Hisao was quick to pick them up for her however. "Thank you. Shall I show you to your table? There's no one else here so you can choose your table and order whatever you like, but there may be a delay as I will have to make it myself"

"It's alright, Yuuko" Lilly said in a calming voice "Just a pot of black tea and a plate of sandwiches will be fine"

"Right" Yuuko said brightly "I'll get right on that!" She ran through the back door to get to work, only to pop her head back through "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, sit wherever you'd like! I'll be right back!"

Hisao lead Lilly to the nearest booth, Hanako and I following close behind them. As we sat down, I realised why Hanako liked the place: It was quiet, and the high-backed booths meant that you were quite, well, hidden away when you were seated. The seats were comfy too.

"So, Kaito," Lilly spoke "I didn't know you played chess"

"Well," I shrugged "I'm not very good, but I can play. My dad's uh, well, British. He um... taught me the basics"

"You're half-British?" Hisao asked

I nodded. It was easier saying that than my dad's explanation of his bloodline: How he had a Scottish father, Welsh mother and ancestors that went back to Ireland and Canada. "Haven't played since I came" I said "Felt good"

"Y...Yes" Hanako seemed to agree "It did" She fidgeted with her hair a little, but I saw a little smile on her face as well.

Yuuko came clattering along with our order, looking completely overwhelmed. Hisao offered her a hand, but she seemed determined to do the job herself. She did manage to set the serving tray down, but it was with a little crash.

"Thank you, Yuuko" Lilly said with mild amusement.

Yuuko bowed, obviously pleased with herself "You're very welcome"

"Would you like to join us?" Lilly asked her "There's something else I'd like to discuss about that recent order, if I may"

"Ah...yes" she replied, awkwardly sitting at the table "We didn't get the chance to go through them, did we? I'll be in the library tomorrow afternoon if you'd like to try again..."

"That sounds perfect. I'll meet you there after classes"

"Um..." Hanako began to speak "L-Lilly..."

"Oh dear, that's right. Tomorrow is Monday" Lilly exclaimed "How could I forget?"

"What's with Monday?" I asked, feeling a little out of the loop

I was ignored, as Lilly continued to talk to Yuuko "Will you be in the library later in the week?"

"Hmm, maybe, but this is already overdue"

"There are some... things I n-need" Hanako said

Lilly sighed "This might be a problem..."

"What's Monday?" I asked again, slightly louder this time.

The three girls looked at me. It seemed I had finally gotten there attention "Maybe we can enlist the help of others, I wonder..." Lilly wondered aloud.

I was still hopelessly confused.

Hisao seemed to be as well "To do what? You lost me quite some time ago..."

Lilly answered his question, which in turn I guess answered my own question "Oh, of course. The other day I was helping Yuuko sort the new braille books in the library. But Hanako and I usually go shopping on Monday afternoons; it's quieter on that day than on weekends. Last week we couldn't go because I was busy with the festival. I managed to slip away later in the week, but Hanako couldn't make it"

"Kaito can help you out with shopping" Hisao volunteered on my behalf, giving me a shubtle nudge with his arm "Right man?"

I weighed up my options. If I said no, it would be rude. On the other hand, I didn't like shopping.

"Well..." I made sure to shoot Hisao a dirty look "If it's quiet, then I suppose it's okay"

"Excellent" Lilly smiled "Does that sound okay to you, Hanako?"

Hanako looked at me "I-If you wouldn't mind..."

I shrugged "It's okay"

"O-Okay"

Lilly smiled "Now that we have that arranged, shall we have some tea?"

Yuuko jolted to her feet "Sorry! That's my job! Let me just-"

Hisao reached up and grabbed Yuuko by the wrist "It's all right, I've got it" Probably a good idea. Yuuko would have probably spilled everything, she was that nervous "Since you've already made the tea and sandwiches, you've fulfiled your waitress duties, right?"

"I...I guess"

As Hisao served the tea and sandwiches, there was a loud BANG followed by a flash of light outside. I uttered a small curse in shock.

"Ah," Lilly said, her expression still fairly calm "I take it the show has started"

"Let's go watch!" Yuuko said excitedly, before realising who was sitting next to her "Oh... Sorry Lilly"

Lilly just shook her head with an amused smile "Please, don't miss the show on my account. From what I've heard, this isn't a bad location to watch them from"

Looking out the window, I saw that the firework show had started. The colours were a kaleidoscopic range of blues, greens and reds.

I looked at the others. Hanako had the largest smiled I ever seen on her face.

It was all beautiful. The lights, the colours, the smiles. All beautiful.

It took a full minute for everyone to snap out of their reverie, even after the firework show ended.

Hanako turned to me, a smaller, shy, by nonetheless pretty smile "Um, t-thanks for today... And tomorrow"

"You're welcome. I don't like crowds either. It's all... a bit much, don't you think? Easier to spend time away from it all"

"Y-Yeah"

We returned to our seat, and our meal. Our tea had gone cold, but it wasn't that bad, despite Yuuko's fretting.

We left not long after. The calm, quiet night a welcome change to the loud crowds of the day.

"Goodnight girls" Hisao said once we reached the dorms

"Night" I waved to Hanako "See you tomorrow"

The girls left, and I left for my room, and slept a long peacful slumber.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I'm going shopping with Hanako tomorrow.

Life is good.


	8. Chapter 8

**"Help someone, you earn a friend. Help someone too much, you make an enemy"** \- Erol Ozan

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I'm going shopping with Hanako today.

I got to the class a little later, noticing the bags under people's eyes. I guess not everyone was home early last night.

Hanako was already there, as well as Hisao, Misha and Shizune.

Hanako seemed to stiffen as I sat down, rising from her own chair to come and speak to me "G...Good morning Kaito"

"Hi" I greeted her as brightly as I could, although my face may have fallen a little as I noticed how uncomfortable she looked. I decided not to say anything, for fear of scaring her off.

"A-About today..." she said

I nodded "Do you want to go after class?"

"S-Sure" she gave the smallest smile

"Great" I smiled as she returned to her seat.

Mutou came in not long after, looking even more zombie-like than normal. He gave us questions from the textbook and just collapsed into his chair.

The day went by without further incident, and when the class ended, I rose to meet with Hanako.

"Kaito!" Misha's voice called after me, stopping me in my tracks. She was standing over by Shizune, who in turn had cornered Hisao "We could always use your help as well"

"Sorry" I mumbled "But I have things to do" I vainly gestured in the direction of Hanako, who was standing by the door, bag in hand.

"BWAHAHA!" Misha laughed "You move fast, don't you Kaito? We won't disturb your date any further! Bwhahaha!"

Wait, what? "It's not...I mean I'm not...She's not..." I didn't think about it that way. This wasn't a date, was it? We were just going shopping.

I felt a tugging on my shirt sleeve. It was Hanako, staring at the floor. My mind calmed, at least enough for coherent thought.

"L...Let's..." Hanako struggled to speak

I nodded "Okay" I turned to the others "We have to go. Bye"

As we left the gates I couldn't help but notice that Hanako was standing incredibly close to me now. Well, not enough to be "close", but closer than normal. I smiled at her.

Hanako seemed baffled by my expression "W-What's the matter...?"

My mind struggled for a brief moment. I wasn't used to my expressions being questioned "I, uh...You just looked nervous is all. I was um...trying to make you feel better, I guess"

Hanako's gaze never left the ground in front of her "R-Right"

I felt bad. Bad that Hanako looked so stressed. Bad because I was starting to think that I was part of the reason why.

"You do this every week" I reminded her in an attempt to put her at ease "Right?"

"Y-Yes" she answered "With Lilly"

Right. That was the problem. She probably had never left the school without Lilly before. She seemed really dependent on Lilly.

"...I'm here" I said after a moment of silence "We won't be long. We'll get back soon"

Hanako smiled a little and a bit of colour came back to her face, but she didn't say anything.

And so we travelled, side-by-side, the crowd of students eventually thinning into nothing. By the time we arrived at the store, we were practically alone.

Hanako used me like a shield between me and the attendant while we ducked in and out of the aisles, adding stuff into the basket.

Bread. Milk. Tea. Thyme, wait what?

"What you making?" I asked.

"What?" she seemed a little spooked by the sound of my voice.

"All these mixed spices" I explained "What do you need them for?"

Hanako's gaze fell to the floor again "I..." she mumbled "...sometimes...like to m-make food"

I was intrigued "Cool. Could you show me how? Can I try what you make?"

"S-Sure" she smiled, although she still had an uncertain look in her eye.

When we were done, Hanako handed me the basket and some money "C-C-Could you p-please..."

I wasn't too sure what she wanted me to...Oh. She wanted me to pay for it. Admittedly, I wasn't very comfortable about talking to others. But I also knew Hanako was far worse, and she was kind of depending on me.

"Oh. Um, sure. No problem. Let me just, um, get some...some stuff..." I grabbed a few things for myself and rushed to the counter.

The guy didn't even give me a second look, which I sighed in relief to (maybe a little bit louder than intended). I guess students came by here often.

When we headed back, it didn't look like there was any one around. Hanako seemed to visibly open up with the lack of people. She was standing straighter, her head held a little higher. It was almost as if she was enjoying herself now. That made me a little better.

We sorted out our bags outside the girls dorm. My stuff looked kind of bland compared to hers. A part of me wanted to stay, but I had homework to do, and I told her as such "Will you be okay with all that?" I gestured to her bags.

"Y-Yeah"

I nodded "Okay. Bye then"

"B-bye" she smiled

We parted ways and I returned to my dorm for the night.

That night I came to a conclusion. I hated homework.

* * *

I woke up the next day sweating. It was going to be a warm day it seemed. I was hating it already.

Not everyone seemed to feel the same way however. While everyone appeared to not have the energy for class, most were looking out the windows with longing rather than contempt. I just wanted to return to my room. I had a fan there, and I needed to spend more time on my painting.

Which reminds me, I need to find more paint.

I was considering "borrowing" some from the art department when Hanako came and spoke to me at the end of class "K...Kaito?"

I smiled in greeting, my attention completely on her "Yeah?"

She was holding a lunch bag in her hand, but it still took me a while to connect the dots (I blamed the heat) "Lunch?"

She gave a shy nod "I...I brought enough for everyone..."

"Awesome!" My grin got a little bigger, knowing I'd get free food "We going to the tea room?"

"P...Please. Lilly said she'll meet us there, so we should...should..."

I waited for her to finish her sentence "Should?"

"...Should go ahead together..."

I nodded "Okay".

The tea room was cooler than the classroom, which I liked. Hanako slowly spread out her food for four. I guess Hisao was coming as well. He and Lilly had spent a lot of time together lately.

"Do we start without them?" I wondered aloud, the pairs absence quite obvious in the silence.

"T-They'll be here soon..." Hanako said, struggling with the lid of a container of rice.

"You want...You want a hand with that?" I asked, not really sure if I should have done so.

She handed it to me, and I already realised a problem: I only had one working hand. Regardless of my handicap, I tried to force the lid open to no avail. More than a little frustrated, I just resorted to hit it with fake hand, which also didn't work. I made a little growling noise in the back of throat.

"N-No luck?" Hanako spoke

I shook my head.

"Hey guys" came Hisao's voice from the door. He and Lilly had arrived

"Something wrong?" he asked, noticing our expressions

"Can't get this open" I explained, handing the container to him. He tried his luck with it, only to come to the same outcome.

"Did you put the rice in when it was still hot?" he asked me. He must have thought it was my rice.

"I was in a rush..." Hanako explained.

"That's the problem then" Hisao shrugged "We'd need hot water to get it open"

"How about I contribute to todays meal" Lilly suggested, holding a bag of assorted buns "Hisao and I were late, so we thought we'd get something as well"

"Okay" I shrugged

Hisao helped Lilly set out all her bread while Hanako hastily made tea.

"Well, I'm looking forward to this" Hisao said to the silence.

We ate in relative silence for the most part. Hanako kept stealing glances at me. It took me a while, but it occured to me she was looking for my opinion.

"This is good" I said "You make this with the stuff you got yesterday?"

"Y-Yes. I w-wanted to show you, s-seeing as you were asking..."

"Hanako's always liked to experiment with her food. I think it's good...most of the time" Lilly said

Hisao chuckled. Not sure why. Lilly only just started eating.

"It's good" I said again "Thanks"

"Y-You're welcome"

It wasn't long before the table was empty and all the food was eaten. Well, all but the rice.

"Thank you Hanako" Lilly said "That was filling"

"N-No..." Hanako responded "Thank you for the bread..."

I nodded in agreement "Yeah"

Hisao smiled, turning to Lilly "Well I guess that was a good idea after all"

Lilly smiled as well "Indeed. You're both very welcome"

As she rose from her seat Lilly spoke to me "Kaito? Might I ask something of you?"

I shrugged "Okay?"

"Could I feel your face?"

I was a little thrown by the question. It wasn't one I knew how to react to "Why?"

Lilly gave a small (maybe embarrassed?) smile "Well, it's occurred to me that I don't actually know what you look like. I know Hanako's and Hisao's faces, so I thought it would only be right if I asked you as well"

I see. It was merely her own way of knowing my appearance. "Um, okay then"

She smiled and came to me. Reaching out her right hand to touch me, her hand hit my collarbone. "Oh. Sorry" she said

"I'm tall" I explained, moving her hand further upward with my own. It took me a brief moment that I had touched her hand with my prosthetic, which Lilly seemed to be a little surprised by.

"You..." she spoke, her fingers gently running across my artificial palm, intertwining with my fingers "...have an artificial hand"

I nodded "Yep. Fake leg too" My glance went over to Hanako, who was watching on in silence "I was uh, in an accident. It's why I'm here"

"I understand" Lilly said, her hand moving up to touch my face. She moved her hand carefully across, as if memorising every feature (which I suppose was what she was doing). She ran her hands through my short hair. Her fingers traced the lines of my scars, the big one over my temple, the smaller one on my bottom lip, another over my eye.

It was only a moment, but in my self-conscious mind it felt like an hour. Satisfied, Lilly stepped away with a smile "Thank you, Kaito, for letting me do that. I see now why Hanako likes you so much"

I smiled at that. Hanako on the other hand went a strange shade of red and dropped her gaze, while Hisao was trying in vain to hide a smile, like he had thought of a joke. Why? Friends like each other. Isn't that normal?

Lilly left before the rest of us, intent on making it back to class before the bell.

I gazed out into the sky. I found myself wondering why I was angry with it earlier. The wispy white clouds against the blue background that was the sky suddenly seemed very entrancing to me. Within the peaceful quiet of the tea room it almost felt as if we were locked away from the rest of the world, in our own small bubble of tranquillity. If it weren't for the ringing of the bell I don't know how long I would have spent staring at that sky.

"Guys" Hisao's voice broke the silence "We should probably head back now"

I forced myself to look away from the sky and look at him, then at Hanako, who didn't seem like she wanted to leave either.

"Not...just yet..." she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Hisao spoke "If we go now, we can still get there on time"

Hanako's hands were wringing a little in her lap. Wasn't that a nervous gesture?

"I can stay" I said, smiling at her before addressing Hisao "You go on ahead"

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

So Hisao left, and it was just Hanako and I once more. I enjoyed these moments, the brief moments of silence. It was peaceful, and Hanako was at peace, which I was starting to think was a rarity.

The final bell to mark the end of lunch passed within what seemed a blink of the eye. Still we sat there, with only each other and the sky for company, savouring the silence.

But alas, I knew it could not last "You wanna go now?" I sighed "I mean, they'll be expecting us. Probably.

Hanako sighed "You're right"

So together, we rose from our seats and left for class together. It seemed like a longer walk than usual to the classroom. I guessed that was just because neither of us truly wanted to go. Eventually we came to the classroom door, and I went in first, braced for a lecture. But it never came. Mutou hadn't arrived yet.

"Bwhahaha! The lovers return!" Misha's voice rang out in a sing-song voice.

I couldn't understand her use of words. Lovers? It was certainly a strong word. I felt Hanako's weight press into my back as she tried to hide herself from the eyes of the class.

We were just friends.

Eventually, she broke away from me to make her own way to her seat, and I went to mine. Mutou came in not long after, talking as if he was in the middle of a speech. My mind tuned it out as it normally did while I took my pencil and started to doodle on my desk again.

"Glad you made it" Hisao whispered to me.

"The teacher may not have noticed your tardiness, but I did" Misha also whispered to me "I've been told to let you off the hook this time, on one condition..."

"Here it comes" I heard Hisao grumble

"You help us out this afternoon" Misha said.

I met her golden gaze. Misha irritated me. I hated to say it, but she did. She was too loud and a little too...uncaring for personal boundaries.

"I'll think about it" I told her.

Misha shrugged as if my answer was enough to satisfy her. At least she was quiet for the rest of the day.

* * *

"K-Kaito?" Hanako's voice reached my ears almost the minute class ended.

"Yeah?"

"I...I was going to the library and...and I thought..."

I nodded, seizing my chance to escape Misha and Shizune's task. Moving quickly, I put a hand on Hanako's back ans gently pushed her out into the hall. It wasn't until we were around the corner before I'd realised my faux pas.

"Sorry!" I quickly said, my hand dropping away from her "It's just we-I needed to get away quick. They're relentless and I didn't want to help them 'cause I think they're annoying and I...I'm sorry"

Hanako's eyes looked like saucers, her cheeks a funny red colour "It's uh...It's okay"

"Right. Sorry" Desperate to change the topic, I blurted "Library?" hopeful to just move on and forget it all happened.

"S-Sure"

Eventually we made our way to the library. When we made our way in, Hanako rushed to the counter where Yuuko was and whispered something in her ear.

"Um," I heard Yuuko say "You'd find that in non-fiction, but I don't know where, exactly. If you want I can look it up..."

"N-Never mind" Hanako said in response

"What's up?" I asked, curious to the subject of their conversation.

"Oh, Kaito..." Yuuko regarded me with a warm smile "Hanako was just looking for a book on..."

"N-Nothing..." Hanako spoke over her, much to my surprise.

"A book on nothing? In non-fiction?" I was understandably confused

Hanako looked slightly flustered "I...I was just..."

I looked at Yuuko. She looked like she was either going to self-combust or have an "accident" from the seeming pressure.

"Okay...If you don't want to tell me..."

"Chess!" Yuuko's voice startled me with it's volume "She's looking for a chess book!"

Hanako's face dropped "Y-Yuuko..."

"I'm sorry Hanako" her face looked one of horrid regret "It just slipped out"

I was confused why such a request needed to be a secret, but nonetheless I carried on like all was well (as best as I could anyway) "Oh-kay. You want to go look for it?"

Hanako gave me another weird look, or at least one I couldn't explain (looked like a cross with embarrassment with...something else) "O...Okay"

So while Yuuko hid behind the counter in apparent shame, Hanako and I delved into the non-fiction section. I knew the layout of library like the back of my hand now, although it did still take us a while to find it. But we did. A single paperback called "Chess Tactics for Champions". I reach for it, but Hanako snatches it before I can, holding it close to her chest. I was a little thrown by her behaviour, but smiled anyway "Okay then"

"S-Sorry" she looked sheepish "It's just I had only ever played L-Lilly before so I thought..."

I came to the conclusion that deep down, she was a bit of a sore loser. I didn't mean to beat her in our last game, but she seemed to have taken it personally.

"Okay" I made a vague, pointing gesture "I'm going to go find a book. Meet you in the usual spot"

"S-Sure"

I found my book in no time of course, and was quick to meet with Hanako at the beanbags. If I were being really honest, I didn't read much. I kept getting distracted by Hanako. She looked completely absorbed in her book, with a level of concentration and yet simultaneous calm that I had rarely seen on her face before. She brushed a bit of hair out of her face, which showed off a bit of scar tissue. I found myself staring again, determined to try and capture the detail of the burn into my mind. I didn't ask this time though, I knew that would only upset her.

* * *

Eventually, we were approached by Yuuko "Sorry to interrupt, but I have to close the library now"

I blinked slowly, as if waking from deep sleep. I hadn't realised the passage of time.

"Time flies" I said to Hanako

"Do you want to check out those books?" Yuuko asked us "I can do it on the way out..."

We both nodded

"Yeah, okay"

"P-Please"

Nodding, Yuuko led us back to the counter, where she did her job with practiced precision. The three then left the library together.

"Argh!" Yuuko made a loud panicked...bark (I guess you could call it), staring at the clock in the hallway "I didn't think it was this late already..."

"Then...why didn't you close-"

I never got another word in. Yuuko had already ran away. She was weird.

"Huh?" was Hanako's voice. I guess I said that last bit aloud.

"I uh, just meant that she was a little...um...neurotic?"

"Oh...I k-know what you mean..." she smiled for brief moment, as if recalling something funny "I...I have to get back"

"To the dorms?"

"Y-Yeah"

"Right. I guess it is that time already. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Okay"

I started walking away before I felt compelled t speak more "Hanako? Thanks for um...you know...spending time with me"

Hanako seemed a little surprised by my words "N-No problem"

"You wanna come with me?" I asked "If we're both heading to the dorms, it just occurred to me that we may as well travel together"

"O-Okay"

So we made our way to the dorm buildings together and bid each other goodnight.

I painted a little bit, but soon gave up. I was out of paint now. I'd have to get my hands on some more before I could do anything else with it.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Amazing how much you can write in a single night! Especially when you're sleep-deprived


	9. Chapter 9

**"Goodness is about character - integrity, honesty, kindness. generosity, moral courage and the like. More than anything else, it is how about we treat other** **people"** \- Dennis Prager

* * *

I woke up early.

The birds were singing outside, which was nice.

I had no paint, so I left for some breakfast instead.

Surprisingly, I wasn't the first one there. There was a sports team that sat around a single table, talking excitedly between themselves, not to mention several other early risers, folded over their textbooks and food.

Lilly was there, so I went to go sit with her. She was sitting on her own with a plate of eggs.

"Hi, Lilly" I greeted her.

Lilly almost dropped her fork "Oh, Kaito, you startled me. I didn't know you took breakfast this early"

"Don't usually" I admitted "But woke up early. I've got nothing to do so..."

There was a long silence as we ate our meals. I finished first naturally, but I was content to sit in silence until Lilly spoke again.

"Kaito, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

I shrugged, forgetting she couldn't see me, so I hastily added an "Okay"

"Do you think of Hanako as a friend?"

That was a odd question. I was confused: did she think I didn't like Hanako, or considered her as something other than a friend? "Yes...Why?"

She smiled "No real reason. I do have another question though. Why is it that you think of her as a friend?"

Her questioning was making me a little nervous for some reason "Well...uh, she's nice, we...we both like similar things, I think. She's...she's uh..." I was going to say"pretty" but I stopped myself. I had never considered Hanako's looks before, at least beyond what her burns must feel like.

"Since I've known her, she hasn't really connected with anyone" Lilly spoke "She doesn't seem interested in other people, and I think people are a little scared off by her appearance"

"Why? Isn't that bad? We're all a little, well, not normal"

Lilly sighed "If you don't mind me saying, I think you're a little naive"

Huh? "Um...Okay?"

"While Yamaku has a stronger sense of community compared to other schools, it's far from being free of conflict. Rules cannot remove human nature, after all, only suppress it"

I guess so, I wasn't the best expert on human behaviour, but I knew of a time when I was bullied and ostracised for being half-british. "I know that. But Hanako's...normal, at least I think she is. A normal person. I thought that she and I were alike I guess, so I found it a little easier to talk to her"

"Kaito," Lilly's voice was warm "I think you are naive, but I also think that you're a good person. It is perhaps one of your better traits"

I think that was meant to be a compliment "Um, thanks"

"Tell me, are you free tonight?"

I was "Why?"

"I was hoping you would join myself, Hisao and Hanako for tea this evening"

"Where?" I asked her

"Hanako and I often use my room for tea parties together. Please, if you'd like, feel free to drop by after dusk"

"Okay. Which room is yours?"

"225; Room 25 on the second floor"

I nodded, trying to commit the number to memory "Okay"

"Very well then, I had best be off. I have class representative duties to attend to, after all" she rose from her seat "Until this evening, Kaito"

"Bye"

* * *

I left the boys dorm alongside Hisao that, and it wasn't long before we came to Lilly's door.

Hisao was trying to flatten his hair with his hand as we walked, but that one strand of hair that came out of his crown refused to settle.

"I don't think that's working" I told him, earning a scowl in response.

"Is that you, Hisao? Kaito? The door is open, you can come in" came Lilly's voice from the other side of the door.

"Does it feel like we're breaking rules here?" Hisao quickly whispered to me.

I was confused by his statement "How?"

"You know. A pair of guys in the girls dorms after dark?"

I wasn't sure what he meant by that...Oh wait. Now I did. "You're making this weird" I told him "Don't be weird"

He sighed "Okay" and opened the door. The room was much cleaner than mine, with neater (if slightly more expensive) furniture. The room smelled funny, a fusion of makeup products and perfume, that reminded me of my mother.

The two girls were both seated at a low table with a red tea set between them.

Lilly had let her hair down, a curtain of gold that fell down to her waist. She was dressed in dark blue, almost black pyjamas that showed off a tantalising amount of leg.

Hanako on the other was dressed in a pink gown that looked a couple of sizes too large, making her look even diminuative in appearance. She met my eyes for the briefest of moments before dropping her head, a small smile and a flush of colour on her face.

"There's no point in you standing in the doorway, boys" Lilly spoke up.

We came in, the room seeming much smaller now that there were four of us. "My my, I'm afraid this really is a small room for the four of us. Would you like to take a seat?"

The pair of us slowly made our way over, I myself was taking care not to smash anything. Hisao sneaked a look down Lilly's top. Dirty boy.

"Well now," Lilly said after we were seated "How about some tea? Hanako, could you please pour?"

"S...Sure" Hanako nodded, her stutter seemingly worsening "Kai...Kaito w-would...would you...would you like..."

"Tea?" I vocalised the question for her "Yes please"

"Do you need a hand?" Hisao asked.

"N...No," Hanako shook her head "I'm fine, thank you"

Lilly smiled as if she knew a joke that she wasn't sharing.

"Long day?" I asked Hanako, in an attempt to calm her with conversation.

"Y...Yeah" she responded. There was a slight "ting" as the teapot tapped the edge of the cup. Hanako took a sharp breath. She must have been really nervous.

"It's okay Hanako" Lilly's voice was as soothing as a bell "There's no need to be nervous"

Hanako seemed to calm at her words, as she poured the rest of the tea much more easily "Here you are"

"Thank you, Hanako" Lilly smiled

"Yeah, thanks" Hisao said

"Thanks" I spoke as well

"Y-You're welcome"

Lilly's hand carefully reached out for cup and took a delicate sip. Hisao and I followed suit. The tea tasted much better than what we usually had.

"Mmm," I grinned like a fool "This is good"

"I wasn't going to say anything" Hisao spoke as well "But it does taste a little different from any tea I've had before..."

"Looks like you picked the right one, Hanako" Lilly smiled "You've done well, even if it was a bold move"

I looked to her "You picked it?"

She nodded

"Cool. Good job"

Hanako's smile returned, bigger than before. It was cute "I'm glad you like it"

I thought back to the conversation I had with Lilly this morning. Why am I friends with Hanako? Lilly seemed to be really concerned about her, like a sister or something. I wanted to be a good friend, but it's not I'd be able to much about her problems. I don't think her burns are actually a major problem, she's just shy and self-conscious about them, much like me and my own scars. We similar in both interests and personalities. I think that was enough to be friends.

"So Hisao," Lilly spoke "Are you enjoying yourself?"

Hisao looked like he was daydreaming, but still he answered after a moment "Yeah, it's relaxing. Almost like I'm not in the school anymore"

"Do this often?" I asked her

"Quite often, but not as often as we take tea in the school building"

I went to take another sip, but sadly found it empty. I made a disappointed whine in my throat.

"That was delicious" Hisao said "Thank you"

"Yeah" I said as well "Thanks"

"You...You're welcome" Hanako smiled

"Yes, you're most welcome you two" Lilly said "It's nice to have the extra company"

"Well, any time you need someone to fill that position, I'm always available" Hisao smiled at her.

"Me too" I said as well, maybe a bit too enthusiastically "Always. Anytime"

Lilly yawned, trying in vain to hide it with her hand "Pardon me, I think I'm a little tired"

"I think we're all a little tired..." Hanako said

"My my," Lilly smiled at her "How astute we are tonight, Hanako. We really should head to bed; we all have class tomorrow"

"Yeah..." Hisao spoke, rising "We should probably go. Come on Kaito"

I didn't rise immediately. I wanted to stay and have more tea. But eventually, I got to my feet. My voice sounded like a despondent child "Okay"

"Thank you coming boys" Lilly said

"Th..Thanks" Hanako said as well "You'll come again?"

"Sure!" I said almost immediately.

"Not even armies could stop us" Hisao added with unexpected debonair. Hanako blushed again.

"Such determination Hisao" Lilly chuckled

"Either way," Hisao smiled, nudging me with his arm "We best be going"

Hanako got to her feet as well as followed us to the door.

"Are you coming with us?" Hisao asked her, the slightest of smiles on his face.

Hanako's blush spread further across her face "No...I...not...this room...isn't..."

"I was only joking" Hisao chuckled

While I was a little annoyed by his "joke" (I never liked making fools of people) I smiled for Hanako's sake "Goodnight Hanako"

"Good...Goodnight"

"Goodnight Hanako" Lilly spoke "Goodnight boys"

"Night" Hisao and I said in unison.

And thus the tea party ended. I kind of dragged my feet as Hisao left ahead of me, while I caught Hanako by the shoulder to speak to her. Hanako jumped liked I had given her a shock.

"Sorry!" I reflexively said "It's just...You're nervous"

"W-What?"

"You...uh...act nervous around me. Around Hisao. I mean, that's okay, I get nervous too. But you know you don't need to be, right? I mean, we're friends, right?"

She smiled "R-Right. We're...friends"

That made me feel a little warmer inside and brought a smile to my face "Good. If you want to...you know...spend some time together or something, you know, hang out or something: let me know" I added with what I hoped was a more playful grin "I mean, we still need to have that rematch"

"S-Sure...B-But I don't think you'll win"

I chuckled "It wouldn't be fun if it was easy"

Hanako may have laughed there, but it was a little hard to tell "G-Goodnight Kaito..." she said before quickly rushing into her room. It wasn't very far from Lilly's.

I left to catch up with Hisao, who had stopped to wait for me at the stairs.

"What was that about?" he asked me

"Hm? Just wanted to talk to her" I explained

"Just talk?"

"Yeah"

"Then why do you look like you won the lottery?"

To be fair, I did have a large smile on my face "I...I just...It's good knowing I have friends. I didn't have many before"

Hisao smiled and gave me a friendly clap on the shoulder "I suppose that's a good thing"

We walked by our rooms together and bid each other goodnight.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly.

I have friends. I am happy.


	10. Chapter 10

**"A secret spoken finds wings"** \- Robert Jordan

* * *

I left my door that morning to find Hisao having ran into Kenji "How'd you sleep?" The legally blind boy asked me when he heard me coming "Sleep well?"

"Um," I wasn't sure how to answer. I was paranoid I'd make him start ranting "Okay, I guess"

"Yeah. Like a baby" Hisao said as well.

"Damn, why do people say that?" Kenji wondered aloud "Have you ever heard a baby sleep? They scream. All night. Every night. Babies don't sleep well, ever"

Hisao sighed. I got the impression he had been in this kind of situation before "All right, I get your point. It was a figure of speech"

"Yeah, sure, whatever" Kenji continued to speak unabated "Where were you guys last night? I had a favour to ask but you weren't around"

"We were-" I began to explain before Hisao silenced me with an elbow to the ribs. "We were out" he says instead "Checking the local area and stuff. You know...recon"

"Recon" seemed like a funny word to use, but it seemed to make Kenji smile "Good man, good. I knew you were the type to plan ahead..."

"So what was the favour you wanted?" Hisao asked

"I was going to get some take-out, but I needed change" he explained

"What?" Hisao frowned "I gave you money last week and you still haven't paid me back!"

Kenji scoffed "And I was starting to think you were cool" He reaches into his pocket and pulled out a wallet and handed him 400 yen. Not sure why he'd ask for money, there was a lot more money than that in there.

Hisao seemed to notice as well, and we was not happy "Hey, what the hell? Why are you borrowing money off me when you've got that much cash?"

The legally blind boy hissed "Get off my case man. It's bad luck to break a big note for anything less than half its value. It's the tycoon rule. Last night's dinner is going to cost me seven years of bad luck. Seven years!"

Hisao sighed "I guess you're right" I personally didn't think he was, but Hisao had a tired look on his face, as if he were simply going along with it for ease "Maybe you should plan these things a little better?" Hisao suggested to the boy.

"Yeah man, I know" Kenji shrugged "But I've just got so much stiff to do, it's hard. And you guys are never around any more. Brothers in arm, remember?"

"What?" I was confused.

"Yeah, yeah" Hisao was visibly losing his will to live "Global conspiracy and such. We'll keep our ears to the ground. Don't worry"

"You guys better" Kenji said, his face close enough to Hisao's that they could touch noses "They'll split us up. Divide and conquer. Sun Tzu said that"

Did Sun Tzu actually say that? I'll admit I wasn't very well read on old philosophers, but I didn't think the sleep-deprived paranoid blind boy was a reliable source.

Hisao placed a hand on my shoulder and gave a look. A look that screamed "Get out of here!" "We've got to go" he told Kenji "We've got classes. You coming?"

I didn't really want to go anywhere with Kenji. He stressed me out. Fortunately, he didn't want to come along. He said he was tired, that he stayed up all night out of fear of something. With nothing further to add to the conversation, he slammed the door shut and locked it behind him.

"Weird guy" I said aloud.

"You have no idea" Hisao sighed.

* * *

Mutou was teaching Biology today. He was talking about recessive genes, like the ability to roll your tongue and stuff like that (I could roll my tongue). Unfortunately, it seemed like I was the only one enjoying the class. Upon seeing this, Mutou just sighed a defeated sigh and left some questions on his blackboard, slumping into his chair.

Hanako left almost immediately after. I got me thinking, does she leave because she doesn't want to talk to anyone, or is it just because of the noise?

The bells rang not long after, so maybe she was just leaving early. She didn't like the crowds after all.

Hisao and I left for the tea room, where we found Lilly setting out her lunch by herself.

"Hey, Lilly" Hisao greeted her

"Where's Hanako?" I asked. I had expected to find Hanako at the tea room.

"I haven't seen Hanako since this morning I'm afraid" Lilly said to me.

"She left early" I was confused "She should be here, it's lunchtime"

"Has she been leaving class often?" Lilly asked us

"Every day or so" Hisao responded

Lilly sighed, looking sad. "I was so sure that she'd stop doing that once you became friends. Everyone has their own pace, I suppose"

"Why does she leave?" Hisao voiced the question I had always wondered, but was always afraid to ask.

"I'm not entirely sure myself" Lilly admitted "I personally think it's because she doesn't want to be put in a situation where she has to answer someone"

That made me think back to the time we first met, and how she'd ran when I tried to talk to her. So I guess that made sense "But she seems...I mean she seems okay with us though"

"It's a little more complex than that" Lilly said "I imagine that the first thing most people ask her about is her scars, and what happened. She rarely talks about it with me, but I can tell that she doesn't like to remember whatever happened back then. Leaving class and running away from discussions is her pre-emptive strike, if you will"

"That doesn't make sense" Hisao stated. Personally, I thought it made perfect sense. She was afraid to talk to people because she knew that any conversation would eventually lead to one regarding her burns, so she avoids any conversation altogether. What I couldn't understand was: If she didn't want to talk...

"Why does she talk to me then?" I asked

"Well, you said yesterday that you see her as a normal person. You look beyond her scars" Lilly suggested by way of explanation "Once she saw that you weren't going to ask her about that, she opened herself up to you"

But I did want to ask her. More than I think Lilly realised. I would have asked immediately if I didn't know that Hanako would run from me, and I was afraid that question would drive me mad in time.

"I wouldn't worry man" Hisao tried to give me an assuring pat on the back

"I'm sure you'll come to know her as well as I do soon enough" Lilly smiled

"I..." I wanted to say more, but my mind and mouth would not work together "I suppose"

Lilly continued to speak "I welcome the prospect of her having another close friend, and the two of you have such similar interests"

But did we? We both liked to read and play chess, but as far as I knew that was it. Was that enough?

"I'd hardly count reading as a team sport" Hisao said (was that a joke?) "But I suppose it's good to have company, right?"

I gave a hesitant nod.

"That's my point" Lilly added "Hanako is still an average person at heart. She also wants company at time like that"

I could see her point, although I still had some kind of irrational doubt that I was doing something wrong "People are...confusing"

"Ain't that the truth" Hisao muttered with a smile.

"It's only natural, Kaito" Lilly said "We've only known each other for a little while; it's unreasonable to expect you to understand any of us, just as we can't understand you. But isn't half the fun of making friends?"

I never had any friends, so I could only shrug "I...I guess so"

"Although..." Lilly continued with a coy smile "I suppose there is the matter of you two being the opposite gender. Men and women do tend to find each other even more confusing"

With a giggle, she returned to her lunch "If it's alright, I'd like to return to my lunch"

"Oh yeah, right" Hisao seemed to forget why we were there, and sat down across from her, drawing his own lunch.

"Wait!" I blurted out, memories of what I had forgotten to do flooding back to me "Books!"

Hisao gave me a funny look, while Lilly had a concerned look on hers "Books?" Hisao repeated

"I need to return books" I explained, turning to leave "Bye"

"If you find Hanako there" Lilly called to me "Can you tell her to stop by my room later tonight?"

I had left by then, the request in my head sitting there alongside the words that berated me for forgetting. How did I forget?

Hanako, I realised. I had been thinking about Hanako and where she went, so I went looking for her instead of doing what I actually needed done. I was confused by that. Why would Hanako override everything in my head?

I made it to the library in record time, dropping my books into the return box with a thud. Yuuko jumped out from underneath the counter. I guess she didn't like loud noises either.

"K-Kaito!" she said "You scared me!"

"S-Sorry" I apologised "I was just...um..." I vaguely pointed at my books.

"Returning books" Yuuko noted "I see"

"Hanako?" I asked

"What?"

"Have you seen Hanako?" I rephrased my question

"Oh!" Yuuko nodded in understanding "I think I saw her sneak in before lunch...Oh! But I'm not supposed to tell anyone that!"

"Why not?" I asked her

Yuuko didn't answer, a visible bead of sweat rolling down the side of her head "No reason. She's probably in the back"

Nodding, I made my way into the labyrinth, following the familiar route to Hanako's hiding spot. Occasionally I would check the shelves for a book. Eventually I found a couple, a old favourite and one I had never seen before.

Hanako was there as expected, buried in a book.

"Hi" I said brightly. Seeing Hanako always made me feel a little better.

Hanako looked up at me. Her smile was nervous and shaky, but at least it was nothing like the terror she used to show "Hello K-Kaito"

Wait...She was smiling, that was great! It's like she was happy to see me! That made me smile as well.

"What're you reading?" I asked her

"Um...'Dance, Dance, Dance'" Hanako answered

"Is it any good?"

"I-It's good...I think. I've only j-just started it, so I d-don't really know"

I nodded "Okay. Can you tell what it's like when you're done? I might borrow it after"

"S-Sure" she smiled

So I started reading, looking up every now and then to look at Hanako. Every time I did, I found her looking at me, only to return to her book. Why? Was there something on my face? Did she want to tell me something?

"Are you okay?" I asked her at last

"N-...It's nothing" she said.

I wasn't really convinced "Are you sure?"

She squirmed a little in her beanbag, a scarred hand absentmindedly playing with her fringe.

"I...I was in an accident"

What? "When?" I asked "Are you hurt?"

She shook her head "No-No. When I was y-younger. When I...when I was..."

"Are...Are you talking about the...your..." I rubbed the back of my right hand, where one of Hanako's burns where on her own hand, silently hoping she'd understand the question.

She nodded. It was small and jerky, but it was a nod "When I was young...I was in a fire. M-My house b-burned down, and I nearly...I nearly didn't make it. A-After that...I was alone..."

Her eyes glistened in the light with as of yet unformed tears. I reached a hand out to comfort her. My real hand, my flesh and blood hand. I didn't want to scare her. She reminded me of a deer, or a porcelain doll; one sudden movement away from breaking "You...You don't have to say anything..."

"B-But...I have to..." she said, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Why?"

"Y-You told L-Lilly you were in an accident..." she said "I was there. I didn't think it was f-fair"

My face scrunched up in a confused expression "What do you mean?"

"T-That I knew about you b-but you didn't know about me"

I laid my hand on her wrist, giving it a squeeze. I wished my hand would stop shaking "I...I didn't tell her everything" She met my gaze, her eyes asking an unspoken question "Car crash" I said "On a mountain road. I went down the side. Doctors said I was dead for a bit"

Her eyes widened at that "R-Really?"

"Yeah" I sighed. I hadn't told anyone else that. It felt strange to say it aloud. It was almost as if a small weight had fallen of my back "I guess...now we know a bit more. About each other, I mean"

My memories were resurfacing: The smell of the hospital, the physiotherapy, my therapists silly inspirational quotes. I wondered if Hanako was feeling the same way.

She said she was alone. Did that mean no friends? No parents? I would have lost my mind without my parents visits.

She moved her arm out of my grasp "T-Thank you, Kaito. I...I haven't told many people about this"

"Neither have I" I admitted

"T-Then I won't tell a-anyone either"

I smiled at that "Thank you" before hurriedly adding "I won't tell anyone either. About you, I mean"

"Okay"

The bells rang. Lunchtime was over.

"Class?" I asked her,

"S-Sure"


	11. Chapter 11

**"Share your smile with the world. It's a symbol of friendship and peace"** \- Christie Brinkley

* * *

The light in the room faded with the setting sun. Hanako and I were insistent on completing our game. Tap-Tap went the chess pieces until Hanako spoke:

"Mate"

I sighed "Again? Is that 3-2 now?"

"S-Stalemates don't count"

I smiled at her "You're better at this now" Or maybe she was just going easy on me the entire time. That was also possible.

Chess was becoming a popular pastime for the two of us; hiding away from the hustle and bustle of the school, playing a couple of games after every class. The voices of passing classmates just a faint background buzz.

"Again?" I asked her

Hanako looked torn "I...I have to finish my homework"

I nodded "Okay. I'll see you later"

"But..." Hanako gestured to the tea set surrounding the mostly-empty chessboard "What about this?"

"I can get it" I assured her

"Oh...Okay. S-See you"

"Later" I smiled.

Hanako left as I cleaned up, the noises outside eventually fading into silence. I was enjoying my time at Yamaku, especially with my friends. Lilly and Hisao were nice and patient, but I especially enjoyed my time with Hanako. She was quiet, which I liked, but the feelings I got as I discovered more and more about her were indescribable, or least I couldn't describe them.

Time went on when I heard voices directly outside the door. It sounded like Lilly and Hanako, so I went out to see what they were talking about.

"Are you sure?" Lilly was asking her as I exited.

"Yes" she nodded.

"Oh, hey Kaito" Hisao was there too

Hanako spun round to see me, a look of surprise on her face. Lilly's eyebrows rose "Oh my," she said "Is that Kaito?"

"Hi" I waved "What's up?"

"I was hoping" Lilly spoke "Now that I've finished with my class representative duties for the day, that the four of us might go for tea at the Shanghai. It would be nice to enjoy ourselves outside of the school for a change"

"Okay" I nodded, before realising "Hanako had...uh...homework though..."

Hanako shook her head "I-It's...not all that much..."

"So are we going then?" Hisao asked

"Yes, I believe we are" Lilly smiled

* * *

There were other people in the Shanghai apart from us, but they were relatively quiet and mere background noise.

"Welcome to the Shanghai!" came Yuuko's chipper tone "May I take your order?"

"Just tea, please" Lilly ordered for herself "Boys, Hanako?"

"I'll just have some tea too" Hisao said

"Tea, with cake" I ordered

"Just...t-tea...please" Hanako managed to ask

"Coming right up!" Yuuko smiled "Please take any seat you wish, and I'll be back shortly"

As we took our seats, I noticed that Hanako wasn't hiding behind Lilly anymore, rather she was merely keeping her gaze to the ground while she led her blind friend around.

"Are you okay, Lilly?" Hisao asked her "You look tired"

Lilly lowered her head with a sigh "Class representative work can be very tiring, considering that it often means dealing with the Student Council. Very tiring indeed"

Oh yeah, she didn't get along with Shizune, did she?

"How...do the other representatives go?" Hanako asked

"Better than I," Lilly answered "But not by much. Shizune is a harsh taskmaster no matter whom she deals with"

"It doesn't sound like you particularly relish the job" Hisao noted "Why do you do it in the first place, if it's that bad?"

"Being a class representative is enjoyable, and I can deal with the responsibility well enough. It's just that the people involved are sometimes..."

"Annoying?" I suggested.

Lilly's face scrunched up, looking like she had another word in mind "Let's go with that"

Hanako suddenly rose to her feet "Hanako?" Lilly asked, having felt the girl rise.

"What's up?" I asked

"I'll...be back in a bit" Hanako answered. She left in the direction of the toilet. I guess when you have to go, you have to go.

Lilly looked bad. "Don't worry about it" Hisao said, putting a hand over hers "I don't think it was you"

"But..."

"She's fine" I spoke up "I think she's a little better now. At least since I met her"

Lilly sighed "Possibly. Sometimes...I find it hard to tell"

Eventually, Yuuko arrived with our orders to break the silence "Here you go"

"Thanks, Yuuko" Hisao smiled

"Yeah, thanks" I spoke up as well.

"Thank you" Lilly smiled

Yuuko bowed and left us to our devices.

"That's right" Lilly spoke up again "Kaito. I was meaning to ask you something"

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested "What is it?"

"Hanako's birthday is coming up, and I was hoping that might accompany Hisao and I for present shopping in the city this weekend"

"Uh..." I didn't really want to go into the city. I was never much of a city person, it was always too full of people and noise and smells. I grew up in a small rural area on the outskirts, much better for my state of mind. But if it was for Hanako...

"Okay, I guess"

"Great" Hisao smiled "Are we doing anything else?" he asked Lilly "A party or something?"

"I don't think she'd like a party" I said

"Indeed" Lilly agreed with me "Perhaps a more low-key affair-" she suddenly stops talking, taking a sip of her tea.

She must have heard Hanako coming back, because she arrived back to her seat within the next few seconds.

The four continued to sit there, drinking and eating as the sun set. I found myself growing to love Yamaku and this quiet little life all the more. I found myself looking at Hanako often. She was talking to Lilly about books when a question formed in my mind.

"Hanako? What do like to do? I mean, besides chess and books I mean"

Hanako looked at me with a funny look. Maybe surprise(?). It took a while before she answered:

"Um...I guess...I like singing a l-little. I'm okay with c-computers as well, but I...don't use them all that much"

That was a pleasant surprise. I wasn't expecting her to enjoy signing, given her soft-spoken nature. It was nice to know we had more in common than I had first thought.

Lilly nodded. She must have known all of this already.

"W-What about...y-y..."

"What do I like?"

She nodded.

I smiled. I suppose it was only natural she wanted to know about mine.

"I like to paint, draw, stuff like that. Chess. Reading...Can't think of anything else. Oh wait, I like music too. Singing and the like. My dad, he...he had a guitar that I liked to play," I made a sad little wave with my fake hand "Need both hands for that though. And then there was my PlayStation..." I kind of needed two hands for that too.

That killed the mood real quick "It sounds like you lost a few things since your accident" Lilly noted

"Yeah" I agreed sadly "But that's why I took up art. Doctors suggested it to improve my right hand. I was a leftie before it all. Painting and drawing and that helped like a kind of therapy"

Hisao nodded "Nice to see that you gained something from it all"

Hanako remained silent. I wanted her to say something, anything, so I could hear her opinion. I may have stared at her a little to get a response out of her.

The awkward silence was broken by a soft ringing noise. Lilly reached into her pocket and drew out a phone.

"Sorry..." she said as she rose from her seat.

"I-It's okay..." Hanako spoke

Lilly went away to take the call in private.

"Must be nice to be popular" Hisao said in the silence.

Hanako smiled, but did not speak.

Hisao leaned back into his seat, eyes closed "It's nice and peaceful here" he said "I wonder what it'd be like to grown up somewhere like this, rather than in the city"

"It was nice" I said "I grew up in a place like this. It was nice, quiet, peaceful. Never liked the city. Too noisy and crowded"

"Aw, the city's not that bad" Hisao chuckled

"You grew up in the city?" Hanako asked him

"Yeah," he confirmed, leaning back forward "I guess you can say I was a city boy, through and through"

"I-It sounds like a lot changed" Hanako said

"It did" he nodded "I'm still not quite sure what to make of it all. It's a bit of a culture shock, in more ways than one. The pair of you must have felt something similar when you arrived at Yamaku? I imagine most students would"

"Not really" we more or less said at unison. Hanako looked at me, stunned, then dropped her gaze.

In the quiet, I could overhear Lilly's conversation "But can't we deal with that on Monday? The fallout has hardly settled from the last...I understand. I'll try to talk her down. You know what she's like when she gets locked onto an idea...Yes, thank you. I'll talk to you later then. Goodbye" With that, she closed her phone and turned back to us.

"Need to go?" Hisao asked, rising from his own seat.

"Unfortunately" she nodded "Class representative work calls once again"

"I'll walk you back" he said

She nodded, before turning to Hanako "Keep our Kaito company, won't you?"

"Okay..."

"I can join you for tea again later tonight" she promised "I may well need it"

We agreed on that, and so Hisao and Lilly left together, each leaving some money for their respective part of the bill. They spent a lot of time together.

And then Hanako and I were alone. We sat there, in silence. She looked at me with a wary look in her eyes that made me feel a little self-conscious. I knew I looked different, with my big scars and fake limbs, but it never bothered me too much until I saw the way she was looking. What did she think of me?

"You want to get something else?" I asked her. I hadn't had much of a dinner so I was still hungry.

Hanako face seemed to brighten as she nodded. I guess she was hungry too, but was just afraid to bring it up. I wonder why she would feel that?

It took some time, but we managed to order a sandwich and hot chocolate each. The food was nice, and we enjoyed it in silence. Or at least I did. I looked up to find that Hanako had not touched hers

"Are you okay?" I asked her "Not hungry?"

She shook her head "I-It's not that"

"What is it?"

"You looked...t-troubled. I-Is something...w-wrong?"

Did I look troubled? I guess my face must have given away some of my thoughts.

"Are we friends?" I asked her

"Friends..." she repeated. Her voice seemed shaky and she seemed to shrink into herself. I was afraid I'd hit a sore spot.

"I'm sorry..." I began to apologise for my question when she spoke

"I-I think th-that we are..."

That made me happy. "Good"

"A-Am I wrong to th-think that?"

"No! No, it's not..." I took a minute to control my volume "It's just...It's nice to hear it. I never had many friends. It's...good to know I have one" I happily took a swig of my hot chocolate, only to spit it back out with a swear "That was hot"

"Th-That's why..." Hanako quietly giggled "That's why I haven't eaten yet. I-I was waiting...for my drink to cool down first"

I wound up chuckling at my own blunder "I guess I should wait too"

The rest of the evening was much less tense. We enjoyed our meal in silence and made our way back to the school in silence, merely enjoying the company of each other.

A loud yawn escapes Hanako before she vainly tries to cover her mouth.

"Tired?" I asked, although I suppose the answer was fairly obvious.

"Yes" she nodded.

"Well...I best be off to bed too. Goodnight"

"G-Goodnight"

We both went our separate ways to the dorms, before I stopped and looked back. Hanako stood and waved at me before going inside. I waved back and went inside to my room, a silly smile adorned on my face.

I enjoyed my time with Hanako, those small and precious moments, more than I realised. I wanted to make her smile as much as I could. I did not fully understand my feelings, but I know one thing:

I liked these feelings.


	12. Chapter 12

**"A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer"** \- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

* * *

I decided to spend lunch in the sunlight. It was a nice day and I managed to get my hands on paints, so I was looking for...inspiration I guess. There were people playing around on the track down the hill. I was sitting under the shade of a large tree when someone came to sat beside me. I recognised her from class, although we had never really spoken. She had dark brown skin, hair and eyes, and she didn't have a left hand, rather the appendage was wrapped in bandages. Miura Miki, Miki Miura I think her name was.

"Sup" she said

"Hi, uh...Miura?"

The girl chuckled "Just call me Miki. The surname thing's a bit stuffy"

"Um, okay...Hi Miki" I repeated "Kaito" I had to force myself to only say my first name, I always said a bit more, or not enough, when I got nervous.

The pair of us looked back down to the field. The group was organising a second game of soccer.

"Don't you...um...sports?" I asked. I was never comfortable talking with people I didn't really know.

"Nah," she shrugged "I'm just resting for a bit. What about you? You gonna play?"

I shook my head "I don't do sports"

She raised a single eyebrow, and placed her bandaged arm on her lap "Just cause you're missing limbs doesn't mean you can't play"

I shook my head again "I never did sports. Even before"

Miki sighed "Shame. You seem pretty cool about everything that's happened. Some people come to Yamaku pretty messed up at first"

"You um...always been on the team?"

"Yup" she smiled "Been in it since I first arrived. You in any clubs?"

I shook my head.

"You've been hanging around with the other new guy though, right? Hisao something? Hanako and the blonde amazon too?"

"Yeah" I knew about Hisao and Hanako, and by "blonde amazon" I was assuming she meant Lilly. What made her an "amazon" though I had no idea.

"Then don't worry about it" she smiled, giving me a friendly shove "As long as you've got some friends, you don't need clubs"

There was a loud whistle on the field. The pair of us looked on to see one of the players on the ground. He had appeared to have taken a fall.

"Ouch" Miki grimaced "That looked painful. I tell you, that guy has the worst luck"

The guy was taken off the field, thankfully he could still walk, and the game resumed as normal.

"Hanging out with Hanako and the blonde...you keep some pretty strange company" Miki said

"How so?" her statement confused me

"Well, I know the Hisao guy hangs out with Lilly 'cause he likes her. I mean, everyone can see that but Hanako...she's kind of...I don't know"

"Shy?"

"No" Well that was surprising "It's not that. It's just...she's got some issues, I think. I can't really put it in a nice way" It was strange to see someone so energetic look awkward "Not that I don't think she's a nice person, though. She's perfectly nice. Just...hard to deal with"

"Everyone has issues" I said evenly. I considered myself hard to offend or anger, but it seemed I had developed a berserk button regarding Hanako, I was easily offended on her behalf.

"I know that" she said

"She's a nice person. That's all that matters. I'm not...I'm not perfect either so I think it works out"

Miki stared at me, a piercing stare that made me uncomfortable. Then she smiled "You really like her, don't you?"

I was stumped. Did I like her? Yes. Did I like, as in the strong " _like_ " like, as in one step lower than the other L-word. Love. I always felt it was a strong word. Was that what she meant? I think that was what she was asking.

"Um...yeah, I think I do. Is that weird?"

"Nah" Miki shrugged "I think it's kind of cute. If you want to go for it, don't let me stop you"

"Um, okay" My face felt warm, warmer than normal anyway. Miki seemed to find that funny.

It wouldn't be long before class started again, so we left to walk to class together.

"It sounds like you're settling in well" Miki said to me, she seemed like a chatty person "That's a relief. It was pretty surprising to get transfer students at this point in the year, considering exams are coming up"

Exams. Every time I heard that word a fuse would blow in my mind and I'd be overcome with anxiety. Not full-blown anxiety, but enough to stress me out.

Miki must have seen the look on my face, because she gave me another playful shove (was she just doing that because I was bigger and she wouldn't be able to knock me down?) "Come on man, don't worry about them. Just cram it and you'll be fine"

"Does that work?" It had been a long time since I had done exams.

Miki just shrugged "You seem smart, and Mutou likes you. You're like a hand in a glove"

"I don't wear gloves"

She found that funny for some reason "Relax, man. Give it some time. It's just a high school, like any other"

"It's school" I stressed "School is stressful, no matter what"

She laughed again "You're not a bad guy Kaito. I hope you have luck with Hanako"

Every time she said something, I felt like I only understood half of what she said "Why would I need luck with Hanako?"

Miki just smiled and shook her head (two conflicting visual cues) "Never mind man"

* * *

It was the day that Hisao, Lilly and I were to be going into the city to look for presents. I found them waiting for me at the gate.

"Hi guys" I waved

"Hey man" Hisao greeted me

"Good day, Kaito" Lilly added

The pair of them were dressed in some more casual wear. Hisao was wearing some kind of sweater-vest-thing while Lilly was wearing a top that showed off her pale shoulders. I felt a little out of place considering I was still wearing the school uniform. Or the closest I got to the school dress-code (buttons and ties were hard with only one hand).

"I think the bus will be here soon" Hisao noted "We should probably get moving"

"Indeed" Lilly agreed "It's a long wait if we miss it"

"Bus?" I repeated. I didn't like buses, I mean really _really_ didn't like buses. Don't ask me why, I couldn't tell you, but I would have rather made the entire trek on foot, hey, a unicycle than a bus.

"Yes" Lilly confirmed as we walked to the bus stop "It's a long journey to the city. Much easier to go by bus"

"Oh. Okay"

"You alright?" Hisao asked me, he must noticed a look on my face.

"Just...don't like buses" I admitted

"Beggars can't be choosers" he shrugged.

So we got the bus. It smelled, it was cramped. The things I do for friends.

* * *

The city was huge, and so were the crowds. I kept close to the others, determined not to be separated in the sea of people. Lilly was holding on to Hisao's arm, her other hand holding her cane as it went tap-tap on the ground.

"You know," Hisao said out of nowhere "It was quite a surprise that Hanako likes to sing" I for one was inclined to agree "Have you ever heard her do that before?" he asked Lilly

"I have indeed" she replied "We've been to karaoke sessions several times, along with my sister. I can't say I take to the activity much, but the other two like it"

"I bet she has a nice voice" I muttered

Lilly smiled. I guess she heard me.

"Maybe it would be nice to bring her into town for a karaoke birthday party, if she likes doing it" Hisao suggested

"I can't imagine she likes the city" I argued "Too many people"

"I have agree with Kaito, sadly" Lilly spoke "I'm not sure she would deal very well with the excitement" she was quiet before speaking again "Then again, the best thing we can do for Hanako at this point is to try to create some pleasant birthday memories"

"Then shouldn't we do something a bit more in her comfort zone" I complained, although no one responded to me, so I shut up.

"Do you have any idea where to start looking?" Lilly asked Hisao

"This is my first time into the city" Hisao shrugged "I have no idea"

Lilly seemed to be deep in thought for a moment before saying "Has anyone had anything to eat recently?"

Both Hisao and I said "No" so she suggested that we stop somewhere to eat. We eventually settled on a nice café where we got to sit in the sun, with pie and tea aplenty.

"Is that lemon pie?" Lilly smelled "Thank you, Hisao" Hisao was the one who paid for the food.

"No problem" he smiled "The tea's just next to it, so be careful not to knock it over"

She nodded, although it looked like she already knew her tea was beside her, given the way that she easily picked it up.

The three of us ate in silence. None of us spoke until our tea was finished as well, and Lilly was the first one to break the silence.

"That was very nice. I must say you chose well, boys" she said

"Hisao really picked it" I shrugged "Though it was nice"

"I haven't been in the city before" Hisao sighed "I just picked because it looked nice" he made a face like he had said something wrong "Oh uh, sorry"

Lilly made an amused smile "You are thoughtful, Hisao, but sometimes I fear that it gets the better of you sometimes. No need to change your speech on my account"

"You thought 'sight' was offensive?" I asked for him clarification. I found such a notion silly.

Hisao notably ignored me "Have you been in the city often?"

Lilly nodded "I used to live in the city with my sister, before attending Yamaku" She then addressed "Tell me Kaito, what are your plans for the future"

Well that came from pretty left-field or however the phrase went "Um...I don't know. I haven't thought about it really. I've never really thought very far ahead" In truth, I never think very far ahead about anything. I was always a very "live in the moment" kind of person even before my accident. After it, well, such long-term ideas were often confusing, and I tried my best to avoid what I deemed unnecessary stress. The day-to-day monotony of school was actually quite nice for me; I knew what was going to happen the next day, and I always enjoyed spending time with Hanako.

"This is your last year of school" Lilly reminded me in a tone that brought flashbacks of my mother's lectures "After this, you will have to fend for yourself one way or the other"

"I know" I sighed with my head down, unable to look her in the eyes.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out in time" Hisao said in an attempt to make me feel better. Can't say it worked.

Eventually, we went walking again, looking for potential presents, stopping for ice cream along the way. Hisao paid. For him and Lilly at least. I had to pay for my own (favouritism is pretty blatant there).

I let Hisao and Lilly talk away to each other as I enjoyed my treat. Chocolate. Yum. I had just finished my ice cream when Hisao disrupted my daydream by shouting "Satou! Hey, Satou!"

Baffled as who he was talking to, since I only knew the one Satou, I looked up to see a pair of strangers approach us. One was a tall, blonde woman in a pinstripe suit, the other was a younger girl with big blue eyes and dark hair.

"Akira?" Lilly asked

The older woman smiled at her "Hey, sis" Oh, so this was Lilly's older sister.

Akira nodded at Hisao, but paused when she looked at me "Have we met?"

"Uh..." I was a little put off by the red colour of her eyes "No"

"This is Kaito" Hisao introduced me "He's with us"

"Nice to meet you, Kaito" Akira took my hand in a firm shake "Name's Akira"

"Lilly's sister" I finished, "Hanako told me about you"

A single eyebrow rose on the blonde woman's face "You're friends with Hanako?"

"Um...yeah"

She smiled "Good. Girl could always use more friends"

She plopped a hand on to the head of her younger companion, who sighed before speaking "I don't think we've met. I'm Hideaki. Pleased you meet you, Hisao and Kaito" Good God, he's a guy!

"Oh" Lilly looked surprised "Hideaki's here too? Are you well?"

"Akira's been taking very good care of me, thank you" the effeminate boy nodded.

Akira smiled at the comment, ruffling the boy's hair in the process "Uncle's out on business again" she said "So I'm taking him around town today. I'd have preferred to be spending the day with my boyfriend, but..."

Hideaki coughed at an awkward, attention-seeking volume.

"Come to think of it" Hisao spoke "Hideaki, how do you know my name?"

"Akira told me" he answered "Being a Yamaku student, I suppose you're disabled in some way?"

Wow. Even I had more tact than that. Hisao seemed to agree with me, given his expression "Not everyone in Yamaku's disabled..." Which was true, but non-disabled students like Misha were the exception rather than the norm.

"You're dodging the question" Hideaki accused him.

"Leave him alone" I said, but I must have muttered it or never said it loud enough because the kid ignored me.

"I'm guessing it's your heart?"

Personally that was my guess, although Hisao still has never told me. Turns out we were right.

"How did you...?" Hisao asked him

"You show no missing limbs or deformities, so external disabilities are out. Considering the lack of any strange mannerisms, it's also unlikely that you'd have any mental disability"

"But Yamaku doesn't take mentally disabled students" Lilly protested. I wasn't too sure on the accuracy of that. Sure no one at Yamaku had Down's Syndrome or were mentally retarded, but I wasn't exactly of intact mind, at least in regards to learning.

"I know" Hideaki replied "Leaving that aside, the only possibility left is that of internal disabilities. I didn't know which one you might bear, so I guessed. Correctly, as it turns out"

I looked at Akira. She seemed to thoroughly enjoying Hideaki's Sherlock scan.

"You remind me of someone..." Hisao noted

Akira gave Hideaki a jab with her elbow "Told ya you're not that different from her"

"Her? Who?" I asked

Hideaki glared at Akira before trying to fix his clothing "I see you've met my sister. Perhaps my full name might help you. I am Hakamichi Hideaki. You're probably thinking of my sister, Hakamichi Shizune"

Oh yeah, I could see the resemblance now. Not only did Hideaki kind of look like Shizune, he also possessed her similar blunt, but logical way of thinking.

"Lilly and Shizune are first cousins?" Hisao asked

Lilly groaned. Loudly, I may add. It was very out-of-character.

Akira looked at her with an amused smirk "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family" she shrugged "So what you guys doing on this fine day?"

"Shopping" I answered

"We're shopping for Hanako's birthday presents" Lilly elaborated

Akira made a funny face "Isn't her birthday on the tenth next month?"

"Yes" Lilly responded "Why? Is something wrong?"

"The folks didn't call you?" Akira asked her little sister

She shook her head.

Akira took a deep breath and looked to Hideaki "Hey shorty, sorry, but could you hang with the guys for a while?"

The boy nodded and Akira took Lilly by the arm and guided her out of earshot.

So Hisao and I were stuck with a stranger. With no idea how to deal with it, I started to absentmindedly tap a nearby railing with my hand while I pondered the meaning of life. Just kidding (if only a little), but I wasn't paying attention to what Hisao and Hideaki were talking about, if they were talking at all.

"Kaito?" came Hisao's voice

"Huh?"

"We're going to look for presents" he said "You coming with us?"

"Sure" I nodded. So off we went.

Eventually, we came across a small antique store, a little place full of porcelain tolls, stuffed animals and statues.

"How about in here?" Hisao asked us. I shrugged in response, seeing as I didn't really have any idea what I was doing.

Hideaki just kept walking. "I'll just be in the newsstand for a while" he said "Don't mind me"

"See you" I said under my breath as Hisao and I went inside. The inside of the store reminding me of my dad's office, a small pocket of quiet old-ness that doesn't really seem to belong in the rest of the city. Nothing was really laid out in a specific order, at least not in ordered rows. The man behind the counter gave us a quick glance, gave us a polite nod and returned to his book.

The pair of us spread out throughout the ship. I was getting increasingly frustrated as I failed to find anything. I found a chessboard, but I didn't see the point in it. She already had a chess set after all, she didn't need another.

My attention was drawn by the sudden sound of music. My head darted around to find the source, only for my vision to land of Hisao. He was looking at something, a small wooden box. Oh, it must have been a music box. It was a sweet, simple melody. Soothing to the ears. It was nice.

"That's nice" I commented.

Hisao jumped as if he didn't know I was standing right behind him "God, man" he muttered "You spooked me"

"Sorry" I apologised "You getting that?" I asked him, pointing to the box.

"Yeah" he nodded "I'm getting this for Hanako" he handed me a small porcelain doll. It was dressed in a pretty Victorian style dress with yellowish hair. "Looks like Lilly" I noted.

"I thought that" Hisao said "Lilly told she got Hanako a doll once. I thought it'd look nice in her room"

I nodded, understanding his logic. The doll did look nice. "Did you find anything?" Hisao asked me.

I shook my head "No", although I did have an idea about what I could give her. I'd work on it later.

Hisao and I made our way to the counter, laying them down on the counter. The old man sat up and took notice, seemingly surprised by our age. Hisao paid for his items and the old man bowed to us as we left, although I could have sworn he gave my fake hand a funny look. I might have just been paranoid.

Hideaki was standing outside the door so I nearly walked into him "Watch it" he grunted.

"Sorry"

"...Hey, Hideaki" Hisao said, a small grimace on his face suggesting that maybe he didn't really want Hideaki to be there "I thought you'd be at the newsstand"

"Akira gave me a call" he said "She's waiting for us at the fountain with Lilly"

Well, at least that made it easier to find Lilly I suppose. It didn't take long for the three of us to make our way to the fountain. Hideaki walked in such a stiff way I wondered off-hand if his spine was made of wood. The two sisters were standing by the fountain, their blonde hair making them stand out in the crowd. Both there faces were hard to read, however Akira's did seem to brighten once she saw us.

"Hey" she waved "You ready to go, Shorty?" Hideaki re-joined her side with a strange smile, or at least one I hadn't seen on his face before "See you guys" Akira smiled "Tell Hanako I said happy birthday"

"We will" Hisao promised "Bye"

"Goodbye Akira" Lilly smiled

"Bye" I said.

And like that, they were gone, and it was just the three of us again. Lilly now had a bag at her side that I hadn't seen before.

"Already bought a present?" Hisao asked her

Lilly's face was hard to describe, but she answered "Yes. Have you?"

"Yeah" Hisao nodded

"No" I said, hanging my head in a pretty shameful way. "I have an idea though"

"Oh?" Lilly looked intrigued

"I think I'll make something" I said "I can paint, so I think I want to try and make something for her"

"That's nice" Lilly smiled "I'm sure she'd appreciate that"

"Should we head back to the bus stop then?" Hisao asked us all.

"Yeah," I nodded "I'm pretty tired"

"Very well" Lilly spoke, her voice kinda quiet "Shall we be off?"

As we walked back, I found myself actually taking the time to look at some of the taller buildings, now that I was a bit more relaxed. The towers were tall and the city was crowded, like really really crowded, but at least it didn't smell as bad as some of the other cities I had been in during life. Smells tending to stay with me longer than any other memory.

The clouds were nice too. Small wisps of white against clear blue sky...

"Kaito, you listening to this?" Hisao nudged me with his shoulder, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Huh?"

"I was just saying that Hanako's party will have to be held a little earlier than usual" Lilly said.

That was weird, birthday parties should be held on the birthday, otherwise what was the point? Kind of ruined the whole "birthday" part of the party.

Lilly's voice stopped my inner monologue as she spoke again "Is the fourth okay for you, Kaito?"

"Um, yeah. I think so" I scratched the back of my neck with my hand, my fake hand.

"Good" she says, her voice sounding very distant. Her face was puzzling for me. I was used to seeing a smile on Lilly's face, but there wasn't one now. She wasn't frowning though either, and her face twitched every now in then like she was trying to keep it still.

"Are...Are you um, okay?" I asked, my voice hesitant.

"I..." she started, but she paused and addressed Hisao instead "Sorry Hisao, you said the bus was coming soon?"

"Yeah" Hisao nodded, but the look on his face suggested that he also thought something was wrong. At least that what it looked like to me.

Hisao looked at me, then back to Lilly "Lilly," he said "Are you doing anything else today?"

"No. Why?"

Hisao looked at me "Hey man, I know this might be weird, but are you going to be okay if you go back to school alone?"

Alone? Without them? That was...I mean I couldn't...I would have to go on the bus, the bus, by myself. I hated buses, I'd have to pay the driver myself, I couldn't...I...I had the feeling I was going to have to deal with it. Lilly was upset with something, and Hisao probably wanted to help. He must have thought I would be distracting or something. That depressed me a little, but he would probably be right. He and Lilly had spent a lot of time together, she'd probably be more comfortable with him alone, like Hanako was with me.

Hanako, that's right. I had to start on my gift for Hanako anyway.

"Yeah, sure" I said "I've got to um...start on Hanako's uh, gift" I cringed a little at my delivery, but Hisao smiled.

"Thanks man" he said, before looking to Lilly "This is the point where I'd normally take your hand and rush you somewhere, but even without that, you'll have to trust me. Okay?"

"Um, okay?" Lilly seemed uncertain "Are you sure you'll be fine, Kaito?"

I nodded "Yeah, I'll be fine"

So Hisao led her away by the hand, and I got on the bus. I had to concentrate to control my breathing, and I was sure the driver gave me a funny look, but he took the money and the bus left without incident.

The bus was quieter, which was a relief. Still smelled though, and the rumbling made my teeth vibrate, a sensation I didn't like.

I hoped Lilly would feel better when she got back, otherwise I endured this stress solo for nothing.

I made it back to Yamaku and made a beeline for my room. My last painting, a little picture of a bird I had seen, had dried so I gently took it off my little easel and laid it to the side. I wouldn't give that to Hanako. No, that was just a side-job, a little bit of fun.

No, this one would be special, a real job. A real attempt.

* * *

 **Author's Note**

Well this was a long one.

Seeing as I can't sleep (it's about 1:44am right now) I think I'll just move right on to working on the next one. With luck, I'll have it done really soon.

Anyways, thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**"All women have insecurities and bad times. What counts is how you overcome them"** \- Irina Shayk

* * *

Well I was a dead man, or at least that's what it felt like. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, I had spent a lot of time on Hanako's painting, but when I rose from my bed the following morning, I could even concentrate enough to do my...um...uh, memory-thing that I do.

Mutou seemed to have a similar dilemma as he read to the class from the textbook, which I honestly could have done myself, it the worlds most dull voice ever. I felt like I was going to fall asleep at any moment but my leg, the fake one, was starting to itch. That wasn't really helping my concentration either. I was tracing the lines in the wood of my desk again when the teacher called out someone's name.

"Ikezawa?" Wait, Hanako?

Hanako jumped to her feet as all the classes eyes turned to her, my own included (much to my shame). She doesn't run though, so progress. "Y-Yes?"

"In this particular example of a redox reaction, the combustion of methane reaction actually produces one more product than is listed" Mutou spoke "That product is...?"

I had no idea. She took her time answering, biting her lower lip a bit in the process "Um...h-heat?"

"Well done" the teacher smiled "This is an exothermic reaction, with the reaction giving more heat than is put into it"

I smiled at Hanako, although she might not have noticed as she dropped back into her seat with a relieved sigh and eyes downward.

"Right then" Mutou said "For the remainder of this class I'd like you to work in groups on the problems in chapter 12. I'll be here if you need me" And with that, he sat down at his desk and started on some paperwork.

"I suppose we have a group, then" Hisao sighed next to me, gesturing to the grinning faces of Misha and Shizune. I sighed, this would be painful.

"Hicchan! Kaito!" Misha smiled "You want to work together? That's great! It's really been a while!" I gritted my teeth at the noise of her voice as well as the noise of desks being moved around the class. In times like this I had to wonder whether or not being deaf could actually be a blessing.

At least with Hisao and Shizune working together, that would mean I wouldn't have to work very hard. My eyes wandered around the class, widening in surprise as I saw Hanako approach us.

"Good afternoon Hanako!" Misha called upon seeing her.

"Um..." Hanako froze in her tracks "Hello"

It took Shizune a while to realise what everyone was looking at, but when she saw Hanako, she tapped on Misha's shoulder to get her attention, signing away.

Misha, ever the helpful one, translated "Good afternoon Ikezawa. I'm afraid our group's already a little bit big. Perhaps you could find another?"

Hanako's face dropped as she turned away. I didn't like that so I spoke up "Wait" Hanako turned to look at me "You wanna join us?"

Hanako's face went a bit red as she nodded, although Misha's grating voice spoke once again "Kaito, while your offer is nice, our group already comprises of four people. Five may be a bit much for this activity"

"I want her to join us" I complained. I didn't often argue but this felt important.

"Come on Shizune," Hisao spoke up, "One more helping hand isn't going to hurt. Besides, Mutou never insisted on a limit to group sizes"

Shizune and Misha shared a look before replying "Very well then. Hanako, if you wish you are welcome to join us"

Hanako nodded and left to pull her desk over. Misha and Shizune said something to Hisao but I wasn't really paying attention. I was just happy that Hanako was joining in on the group work. Joining me. I got the feeling she didn't do it often.

She joined us and sat down, her eyes focussed on the floor below her. Confused as to why, my gaze wandered to find that several persons in the class were looking at our group with curious expressions. That irritated me. What was so damn interesting? Was it Hanako? Did they really have nothing else to talk about? They never batted an eye when she'd leave class but now that she's actually trying to make an effort they're going to act like she's done something wrong?

"Hey Kaito" Hisao nudged my shoulder "You alright?"

I realised I must have been making a face. Making a conscious effort to unclench my fist, I merely replied "I'm fine"

So we spread out the textbooks amongst ourselves, taking advantage of all the desks being together.

"It's nice to finally work with you, Hanako!" Misha smiled, seemingly intent on making conversation.

"Y-Yeah" Hanako replied

Shizune smirked and signed something "Are you the reason the boys have been avoiding us, lately? Shicchan says it's a little rude, but if Kaito or Hicchan wanted to spend some time with a cute girl, it's understandable!"

Hanako's face flushed with colour again, her head still held low while she fidgeted "I-I don't t-think it's like that..." she said

"Really?" Misha looked shocked "So neither of them were hanging out with you yesterday?"

"N...No..."

I squirmed a little in my seat. I didn't like the look of Hanako appearing so uncomfortable, but I also had a faint memory of Lilly asking to keep our shopping a secret. She wanted Hanako's party to be a surprise.

"I was with Lilly" Hisao explained. His cover was easy. He was always with Lilly, so no-one batted an eyelid at that knowledge.

"That doesn't explain Kaito's whereabouts!" Misha declared, her finger pointing at me like she was Naruhodō Ryūichi (or Phoenix Wright, I played the game in both languages) "Where were you yesterday?"

"Um..." My brain struggled to come up with stories even in the best of times, let alone in my tired, frazzled state "Elsewhere?"

"Really?" Neither Misha nor Shizune seemed convinced by my admittedly weak answer "I wonder what so important that you would not spend time with anyone, not even Hanako. It's really interesting..."

"W...Were you with Lilly as w-well?" Hanako asked me.

I gave a quick look at Hisao, he seemed as surprised as I was that she'd figured it out "Um...Why would you uh, think that?"

"Y-Yesterday Lilly said something s-similar" she explained.

Damn.

Shizune smiled with glee "Suspicious! Kaito! I demand that you explain yourself!"

"Hey," Hisao spoke up, thankfully intent in changing the conversation "Shouldn't we be doing this assignment?"

"But it's so mysterious!" Misha whined "Even Hanako wants to know!"

My eyes hadn't left Hanako, and it was true. I didn't see any way out of telling the truth, but in my panic state, I kind of made a fool of myself, desperate not to break a promise "Nowhere! It's was nothing I-I-I...I wasn't anywhere with-"

"Kaito," Hisao sighed "It's alright" He looked at the girls with a defeated expression "I went into town with Lilly, and Kaito came along. Lilly had asked us to keep it quiet because we were..." he sighed again "...because we were shopping for gifts. For um, for Hanako's birthday"

There was a heavy silence throughout the group. Shizune and Misha shared a disappointed look (I guess they were expecting some juicy gossip of some kind). Misha looked to Hanako, who's face appeared to have turned very upset very fast. Not weepy upset though. I didn't have a word for it.

"Hanako?" Misha was unusually quiet "I'm sorry..."

Hanako shook her head "I-It's...okay..." I figured out the expression she had. She look tired, drained of energy. It was weird.

"Sorry..." I started to say, but the words failed me. I didn't want to risk upsetting her further.

With the conversation dead, the group went about answering the questions. I naturally didn't do anything, my gaze was locked on Hanako. She hadn't started either. She just stared down at the paper in front of her, pencil in hand, making no effort to start.

"Hey, Hanako" Misha asked her "Do you understand any of this?"

"I-I...um...n-not really...I g-guess" she answered, her entire body tensing up as she did. When Misha looked away she breathed out again, like a deflating balloon. Misha smiled, and took her through the solution to the first answer step-by-step, the same way Hisao helped her. Hanako nodded when she asked if she understood. Misha looked away, and Hanako still didn't move.

"Hanako?" I said, my voice quiet. Barely a whisper.

No response. Hanako doesn't even move her eyes "Hanako?" I asked again, a little clearer. The others looked at me, then to her, concern beginning to settle on their faces. I guess they were figuring, like me, that Hanako's was being unnervingly withdrawn, even for her.

"Hanako?" Misha's voice was soothing and soft when she wasn't being loud "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Y-Yes" came the robotic reply

"Are you sure?" Hisao asked her

"I'm fine"

I didn't believe her, but I didn't know what to do. Her head had turned away with her last response. She was looking at the floor again. Everyone went back to their work. Hanako didn't move, didn't make a sound. She was worrying me. I started to twitch, my fingers tapping the desk and my leg starting to bounce, like I do when I get really stressed. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. Say something, a voice in my head demanded (I don't know whether it was me or Hanako it was willing), say something!

Shizune seemed to take notice first, looking at me with frustration, then she followed my line of sight to Hanako.

"Kaito, you've barely done any work! And Hanako, you're being too quiet. You have to contribute too! Someday, we might work on a bigger project, like one that's so big it's worth celebrating afterwards, like with ice cream, or cake, If you act like this, we won't take you along!"

I'm not sure what she and Misha were trying to do, but I also didn't think it was working either. If anything, Hanako looked worse.

"D-Don't..." the words seemed to get caught in my throat "Don't say that"

"Kaito," Misha smiled "It's all in good fun! Shicchan says she teases everyone, anyway"

"Not Hanako" I grumbled.

Regardless of whether or not they heard me, they backed off and got back to worked. I tried to make an effort, but my groggy brain couldn't make sense of the questions, and I kept getting distracted by Hanako. She still hadn't moved.

"Hey, the clock's ticking down" Hisao noted "You should probably hurry this up"

"Hicchan!" Misha said "You sound a little like Shicchan, there..."

"Just because I looked at my watch?" Hisao said jokingly "Jeez, is that all it really takes? Time management, and suddenly I'm the Student Council president?"

Conversation died as everyone finally noticed what I had seen (what felt like) ages ago. Hanako's pencil hung uselessly in her hand, not even spinning like she normally does when she's thinking, it hadn't touched the paper in ages. She hadn't moved at all, it was like she was shutting down. She seemed to register our eyes on her though, a expression of absolute panic on her face. Everyone drops their gaze but me, I couldn't bring myself to look away. It was like I was watching a car crash unfold before my eyes; knowing that something was terribly wrong, yet unable to do a thing about it.

"H...Hanako?" I spoke, the concern in my voice crystal clear.

People from the other groups had started to look, their work almost complete. Stop looking, I silently willed them, stop! But I couldn't even look at them, I couldn't look away from Hanako, despite knowing my eyes upon her was probably the last thing Hanako wanted.

Misha keeps asking her what is wrong, her volume control completely gone. Her voice goes out to the entire classroom. I want to snap at her, to yell at her, to tell her to shut up, but I couldn't get my voice to work.

Hanako's eyes were shut now, silent tears streaking down her face.

"Hanako?" It wasn't even a real question any more, and I wasn't even sure if I was saying it aloud. I couldn't think of any way to help her, to calm her. The class was watching, and any attempt to help would only bring more attention.

Hisao looked uncomfortable, Misha looked really worried, Shizune was biting her lip and God only knows what I must have looked like. None of us knew how to deal with this.

Hisao called Mutou over as quietly as he could. Hanako didn't even look like she was breathing anymore. I was scared.

Mutou began to ask us what was wrong, but stopped the moment he glanced at Hanako.

"Did..." Misha's voice was quiet again "Did we upset her?"

"Don't worry" Mutou said.

Don't worry? Don't fucking worry? I could I not do anything but worry? Hanako, the closest thing I had to a friend was having a breakdown less than five feet away from me, and there wasn't damn thing I could do about it! How was I meant to feel, if not worried?

Mutou gives Hanako a close look at Hanako's face before speaking clearly, loud enough for those listening to overhear "Hi, Ikezawa. Can I help you at all?" Hanako, of course, does not reply and he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She started to violently shake under his touch. I wanted to leap out of my chair, but I knew there was nothing I could do. Her gaze was unfocused, she was clearly off in her own world now.

Mutou grimaced as he straightened up, taking a deep breath before speaking "Is that it? Nothing's wrong then?"

I wanted to complain that there was something clearly wrong, but the people around us had turned their gaze away, getting back to their own work, so I guess Mutou must have known what he was doing.

"I think," he says in a quiet voice "For Ikezawa's sake, that it would be good to quickly take her somewhere away from others. Nakai, Hakamichi; could you please take Ikezawa out of the classroom? I'll keep everyone settled, so please don't worry about anything but her, okay?" He looked to Misha to translate, but she had already finished doing so.

Nodding, Shizune and Hisao got to their feet and went to either side of Hanako. Gently, they lifted Hanako out of her chair and led her to the door. They had to move slowly, and I was all to aware of the eyes of others on them as they left. I had to grind my teeth and remind myself to breathe just so I wouldn't get angry.

Mutou continued as if nothing was wrong, but some curious eyes still made glance towards me and Misha, confused as to what happened.

"You think she'll be okay?" Misha asked me. I didn't respond. I couldn't. The only sign I had heard her was the speed of the taptaptaptaptap of my fingers on my desk.

Shizune came back inside and sat down as if nothing was wrong. Misha frantically signed a question, to which she responded "Hisao's taking her to the nurse" Misha told me. I was silent, but I nodded in understanding.

Hisao came back after a while as well. My eyes immediately went to him, asking the silent but obvious question.

"Nurse says to let her rest" Hisao said "We can check on her later this evening. They'll have moved her back to her dorm by then.

I nodded, still unable to form words. It was going to be a very long day.

"Smith" came Mutou's voice "Can I speak to you outside?" he left without looking at me.

Wordlessly, I joined him outside.

"I can imagine this must be difficult for you" he said "You appear to an empathic sort"

I'm not sure what he meant by that, so I just nodded.

"Tell me, Smith, do you what the purpose of this school is?"

Huh? I'm not sure where that question came from "To...um..." my throat felt dry as I tried to speak "To, uh, help those with special needs?"

Mutou looked at me and shook his head "If all we wanted was that, then we could rebuild the school right now. One floor, interactive whiteboards and call it a day. No, what we're here for is to grant you the opportunities you wouldn't have in any other school"

"Huh?"

"Think of it this way. If we wanted you to graduate and go straight into a hospital, do you think we'd put in this much effort?"

I was a little thrown by his bluntness "I...guess not"

Mutou nodded "That's right. We want you all to leave here as useful members if society"

"Oh-kay" I was still a little confused as to his point.

"I see potential in you, Smith. Maybe not in the field of science, but from what I've heard you have much untapped potential in your other subjects. Potential that could take you to a university. Have you ever considered that?"

I suppose I should have been honoured or touched by his words. But I hadn't thought about university in a long, long time. Long before even my accident "Not in a while" I admitted to him.

"Well, what have you considered? For your future, that is..."

"I..." I wanted to be honest with him, but I knew that wasn't the answer he wanted to hear. This was just like when Lilly asked me the other day. I had spend ages in hospital just learning how to use my hand and leg again. I was enjoying each day as it came. I didn't know what would happen in a week let alone what would happen at the end of the year. That uncertainty scared me, a lot. I never want to admit that.

Mutou seemed to take my silence as answer and sighed "Think of this place as an opportunity. Here you have boundless facilities, good teacher, plus the added bonus of the nurse and his staff. You should be doing nothing but thinking of the future"

I wasn't really listening, instead voicing a question that had long since bugged me "Why does no one care when Hanako doesn't go to class, or when she leaves?"

"Smith," Mutou sighed again "It's not really simple to explain. Every student has special needs; if it weren't for that then we wouldn't have a school here. For example, I wouldn't keep you in class if you were having trouble breathing, would I?"

"But..." whatever I was going to say was cut off but Mutou.

"Ikezawa's case is very much like that. But instead of CPR or a pacemaker, what she needs is time and space. The faculty was made aware of this from the day that she arrived, thus whenever she the need to leave classes, we let her do so. And even though she isn't a star pupil, she passes all of her exams, so it hasn't affected her ability to study. Isn't that enough?"

I couldn't argue with him. I couldn't find a fault in his argument.

"I understand that you might not be used to this kind of thing yet. It's been a big change for you, That said, it's less than a year until graduation now. Maybe you won't have to get used to this school. If you keep your down, I'm sure you'll do well enough in your exams"

I nodded. I thought I was used to the school, but it seems like I was wrong.

"What...What about Hanako?" I asked

Mutou takes a moment to think of an answer "I believe...well, I hope, that she will perform well enough to do what she wants to do. What that is, I don't know. Not all students leave school with an idea of what they want to do, unfortunately"

The pair of us stood there in silence for a while he spoke again "Like I said, this day must have been very troublesome for you, and I doubt you'll be able to concentrate after all that's happened, so I'll allow you to take the rest of the day off. Despite your poor attitude in class, your grades are good, so I don't think you'll have any problem catching up. Go collect your things, and I'll see you tomorrow"

"Oh. Okay. Thanks"

As I did just as he said, my mind wandered all over the place. I wanted to say that I understood Hanako and that I could help, but now I realise that I had no idea what I was talking about.

I wish I was right. I really did.

As walked back up to my room, my thoughts did not settle. I was left wondering about my bond with Hanako, or my lack thereof.

I knew next to nothing about her. At least anything that mattered. She told me about her accident, but only in a brief basic way. I didn't know any about her family, or if she had any. What was her old school like? Her friends? Wishes? Ambitions? Her favourite music? Favourite food? Favourite movies? All the little things that a friend should know, but I didn't know any of it. Just what the hell have I been doing all this time?

I was angry, I was upset, I was confused, I was scared.

I looked at my fake hand. I stared at it and tried to make a fist. The digits twitched, but it didn't form the shape I wanted: a white-knuckled fist to match its other.

I slammed it into my table. And again. And again. And again and again and again until I heard a crack and felt a lack of pressure on my arm. I watched as my prosthesis fell off my arm and clattered on to the carpet. It had never fully worked, and now it was broken.

Like a floodgate had opened in my chest, I started to cry. Not quiet silent tears like in the movies, I mean loud heaving sobs like a child. I sank to my knees, hand holding on the stump that was what was left of my left arm. a criss-cross patchwork of scar tissue that ended just under my elbow. A mess of flesh under a clean, flawless fake. I'm sure that was something symbolic.

The bells rang, I didn't care. My phone rang, I didn't care. Hours must have ticked by while I sat there, back against the bed, my eyes red and nose running.

A knock at the door grabs my attention "Kaito?" It was Hisao "You in there? I tried to call you, but you didn't answer"

"Come in" I call, my voice coming out in a rasp.

Hisao opened the door, looked at the door, looked at the broken hand on the floor and back to me "You okay?"

"...No"

Hisao sighed "Lilly called me. She wants to talk to us"

Slowly, I rise to my feet, wiping my nose with a old shirt on the floor "Okay" I sighed.

We left together, Hisao occasionally stopping to look at my stump. I suppose it is the first he's seen it.

We found Lilly in her room, sitting on her bed with a saddened look on her face.

"We're both here" Hisao told her

Lilly nodded "How are you, Kaito?"

I took a breath "I'll be fine" my voice was a little stronger now, although it did sound like I had a cold.

Hisao recounted the events to Lilly, while I merely relived the events in my mind. I was still looking over the events, just seeing whether I not I could have done something. I couldn't find anything, but I had a feeling could have done something.

"I see" Lilly sighed "She said her therapist sessions were helping, but I had my doubts. It's quite a shame. Her birthday has caused problems, but I had hoped that she would have improved with more friends and her more intensive therapy...Where is Hanako now?"

"Last time I saw her she was in the infirmary" Hisao responded "She's probably gone back to her room by now"

Lilly nodded. "You said you had bad news as well?" Hisao asked her

If it were possible, Lilly's face grew even sadder "My aunt has fallen gravely ill. I'm afraid I'm going to be heading back to Scotland to visit her, and to spend some time with my family"

Well that was a bombshell "When do you go?" I asked her

"Saturday"

"How is your aunt?" Hisao asked

"She is...stable"

So that meant she was in the hospital. I suppose it was better than dead. "Stable's a relief" Hisao said.

Lilly smiled, if only a little at Hisao's words "Unfortunately, I'll miss Hanako's birthday"

"That's why you wanted the party earlier" I realised

"Indeed" she said

"I suppose this makes it a going-away party as well" Hisao noted

"You make it sound like I won't be coming back" Lilly stated "I'll only be gone for a week, two at most"

"That's nice" I commented

"What did you do for her birthday last year?" Hisao asked

"Last year..." Lilly's face fell again "I literally couldn't get her out of her room. She'd locked the door. All I could do was leave food outside, making sure she was at least eating well"

This was far worse than I thought. If Lilly, Hanako's closest friend, couldn't help her, what chance did any of the rest of us have?

"Perhaps it would be better to throw the party before you leave then?" Hisao suggested

"That does sound like the easiest option" she agreed

"Hanako should know" I said "This happened because we didn't tell her. It can't happen again"

Lilly rose from the bed "Very well. Shall we go and visit now?"

We all agreed yes. I personally couldn't wait to see her. I was worried, although it occurred to me I probably looked terrible as well.

The door was unlocked so we went in. Hanako's room was pretty bare. Nothing hung on the walls, there was only a few books and papers strewn around. Everything was either in black or white.

Hanako herself was curled up on her bed. She wasn't crying now, but there were tell-tale signs that she had been.

Hisao gently lowers her belongings from class on to the floor, while Lilly called out to her friend "Hello Hanako. Hisao told me about what happened today...are you alright?"

Hanako's reddened eyes opened to look at us, if only a little "I...I'm okay..." she said. She noticed my staring "S-Sorry...f-for making you w-worry. R-Really...I'm f-fine now"

She wasn't. But she was calmer now, and I'd take what little victories I could. She still looked fragile though, as if the slightest touch could break her.

"Don't be sorry" I said "Never be sorry. Not for this"

"Yeah" Hisao sighed "We shouldn't have hidden something like this from you"

Lilly walked over to the other crouched down to her height "I'm the one who should be sorry, Hanako"

Hanako looked at her for a long time before sitting up, Lilly eventually taking a seat beside her and taking her hand. It was in times like these that I truly felt like an outsider.

"Do you want us to go?" Hisao asked, to who I don't know.

"No" Hanako's voice rang our "I don't...want that..."

And so we stayed. I sat on the floor while Hisao took the desk chair. We sat there while Lilly broke the bad news to her friend, and we tried to appease her with a small tea party to mark Lilly's trip away instead of a birthday party. I had never seen someone be stressed out by a birthday party, but as the day was making more and more depressingly clear, I didn't really know Hanako all that well.

"We'll let you rest" Hisao said, rising from the chair "Come on, Kaito" I rose after him.

"You know that if you ever want anything, you can always talk to me or Hisao or Kaito, right?"

"I...understand. Thank you"

Lilly smiled "Good night Hanako"

"Night..."

I exhaled a big sigh of relief as the door closed behind us "She's okay"

Lilly however did not. She looked pale "Are you alright?" Hisao asked her

"Just tired" she sighed "It's been...hectic recently"

Hisao placed a hand on her shoulder "Try and get some sleep, okay?"

Lilly smiled "I will. Good night Hisao, Kaito"

"Goodnight, Lilly"

"Night"

So Hisao and I made our way back to our rooms. I nearly tripped over my prosthesis in the dark. I'll have to talk to the Nurse about organising a replacement.


	14. Chapter 14

**"Just keep taking chances and having fun"** \- Garth Brooks

* * *

The nurse wasn't happy about my broken hand, my fake hand. He gave me a big lecture about how he "expected me to be careful" and thought I was "more sensible than that". He did say he'd try and organise creating a replacement in time, but it would take a while, which didn't surprise me all that much (the old one had taken months to make after all). Until then I'd have to make do with one hand, which wasn't too different than what I had already been dealing with.

I spent what felt like a while in my room this morning, spinning my arm in a circle. Without my fake bit half of my left sleeve just hung uselessly, so I was spinning it like a ribbon. It was entertaining.

* * *

Hanako wasn't in class. That made me sad, although I wasn't surprised. She was upset, it would take her time before she was feeling up to class. I still missed her. Every now and then I would look over my shoulder to look at her desk, as if I was expecting her to magically appear. It was foolish. I'm not sure what's up with me.

Class had just ended when I felt a sharp pain in my side. It was Misha with a pencil.

"Ow" I grunted, "What was that for?"

"You were drifting off into space" she smiled, as if my pain amused her "For a moment I thought you were talking to alien life"

I'm not sure if she actually believed I was capable of that. It sounded like a joke, but I was never 100% sure with these things. I yawned, a big open-mouthed-lion-yawn. I was tired. I didn't sleep well. It took me a while to fall asleep, and even then my dreams weren't kind. I had relieved my accident again.

"Are you okay?" Misha asked me "Yesterday kinda rattled me as well..."

I shrugged, unsure how to respond. I still couldn't forgive myself for how little I did during Hanako's panic attack, despite Hisao's words saying that none of us really knew what to do. My inner voices are often louder.

"I miss her" I muttered

"Did you see her last night?" she asked

I nodded "Yeah. We all did"

"Hey Misha," came Hisao's voice from the other side of me "This might sound a bit weird, but can you tell Shizune 'thank you'? From all of us"

Misha signed the message to her friend, who responded with a frown, red cheeks and quick hand movements. She looked angry.

"She said 'you're welcome'" Misha explained. I don't think that was the whole sentence but I couldn't be bothered asking further. Hisao for his part seemed to find it funny, given how he chuckled.

"What's so funny Hicchan?" Misha asked "Was it something we said?"

"No, no, that's not it" he smiled "I was simply thinking about how cute Shizune can be at times"

Misha seemed to find it funny too "Wahahaha! You're right! Shicchan is really cute when she tries not to be!" Shizune signed something else to the girl (her face was less red now) "Oh. How would you boys like to join us for dinner?"

I won't deny I was tempted. Free food was never something I turned down easily. But I as much as they were polite to me, I didn't want to spend tons of time with Shizune and Misha (that sounded meaner now that I thought about it), not to mention I was still a little worried about Hanako. I wanted to check on her later "No thanks"

"I'll have to pass as well" Hisao said as well.

Misha looked sad "Aww..." while Shizune looked dissapointed, if only a little more composed "Oh well. It's your choice"

"Maybe we could join you another time" Hisao suggested, looking at me for my own opinion.

I was quiet for a while before I muttered "Maybe"

With that, the two girls waved us goodbye and left.

* * *

Like I had planned, I found myself at Hanako's door later that day. Weirdly, I felt nervous. There was a lump in my throat as I knocked twice, trying not to bounce with nerves. For a moment, I was afraid that she wouldn't respond when I heard the faintest rattle of the handle.

The door opened the tiniest distance, but I could see the light shining in Hanako's eye as she stared at me.

I managed a nervous smile, suddenly aware that I didn't look very well. My hair was it's normal mess, I probably had bags under my eyes and I was pretty sure I had paint on my face (I was painting and had tried to hold my paintbrush in my mouth while my hand was busy with something else. It ended like you'd expect).

It was quiet, neither of us made an attempt to speak. I couldn't really see Hanako's face through the door so I had no idea what she was thinking. Eventually, the door opened and I was allowed in.

The room was brighter than what it was the other day, although it still looked very empty. There was a fruity smell in the air, reminded me of shampoo. Hanako's hair was wet, so it probably was.

The door was closed behind me, and suddenly we were alone in her room. I wanted to say something, but I found it hard to get my thoughts in order. She smelled nice.

"Why..." Hanako finally broke the silence.

"Huh?"

"Why did you...Why are you here?" Hanako's voice was quiet.

Why was I here? I was worried about her. I felt better when I saw her, but now that I'm here in her room I had no idea what I was doing. I should have thought this through a bit more. But I guess that was part of my problem: I never think anything through, and when I did I never followed through on those plans.

I wanted to see her smile, but I had no idea how to do that. I wanted to be her friend, but I had no idea how to do that. I wanted to have a conversation with her like a normal human being but now because of everything that's happened I'm too nervous to say a word.

"I um...uh...I'm sorry, I just uh..." I hung my head in shame "I don't know. I just...wanted to see you, I guess"

I looked up to find, to my surprise, that she was actually smiling now. That made my chest feel a bit warmer.

"Um..." Hanako started to speak "Since you're here...I'd like to..play a game of chess with you"

I smiled at that. Chess was good. I knew how to play chess. Chess was familiar. Familiar was good. I nodded "Okay"

We sat on the floor as we played, Hanako having set out the pieces. We played for a bit in silence before Hanako spoke "What...What happened to your hand?"

I was confused. I was sure I had already told her the story about my accident. Oh. She meant my fake hand. "I uh..." I was a little uncomfortable talking about my own little breakdown "I just...broke it. Nurse says it can be replaced, but it might take a while"

"Oh" Hanako said in response "Were you painting?" I suppose she was gesturing to the smudge of black on my cheek. I nodded a "Yes".

Time passed as we played, each of us playing with equal skill. For every piece I stole, she stole one from me.

"I like you" I blurted out near the games end. Hanako's face, slightly pink in the cheeks and raised eyebrows made me feel a little embarassed about what I had just said "I mean...you're a good friend. I...I enjoy our time together. Times like this, it's...it's nice. I like these moments"

"I..." Hanako's voice was equally hesitant "I like you too, Kaito"

* * *

Eventually, the day of Hanako's party arrived, and Hisao and I were making our way there. The pair of us were in slightly more casual wear than the uniform, Hisao with his shirt-sweater combo and myself with far more managable t-shirt and jogging pants.

"How do I look?" Hisao asked me out of the blue as we climbed the stairs of the girls dorm. I suppose this was a question I had to answer "The same" I said. Hisao didn't seem to like that answer, groaning as he tried to flatten his hair yet again (with the usual result).

"Why is it a big deal?" I asked him "It's just Lilly and Hanako" I personally wasn't too conscious at that moment. I had remembered to wash paint off my face that evening and I managed to dress myself without incident or swearing. I was taking the little victories in stride.

"Exactly!" Hisao said "Lilly and Hanako. They're probably waiting for us, looking as great as ever, and we'll be looking like a pair of tramps"

"We always look like this" I noted, not really understanding his frustration. Hisao just grunted something and remained silent for the remainder of the walk.

Hisao knocked when we arrived "Is that you Hisao? Kaito?" came Lilly's voice on the other side.

"Yeah, it's us" Hisao responded.

There's the sound of the door unlocking, and we were let in. Just as I had hoped, the party was just like any other tea party we had: the four of us around a table with the funny red teapot. We all sat down, Hisao locking the door behind us.

"Hey, Lilly?" Hisao spoke up.

Lilly took a sip of her tea before saying "Yes, Hisao?"

"What's in the brown bag?" He pointed towards a brown paper bag that sat to Lilly's left. I hadn't noticed it until he had pointed it out, but now I was curious.

Lilly smiled "That would be Akira's present. Unfortunately, she said she was working and can't join us" She reached into the bag and pulled out its contents. Two glass bottles.

"Wine" Hanako noted. One white, one red. Probably explained why the door was locked. No alcohol was meant to be allowed on school grounds, and I was pretty sure none of us were legally old enough to drink.

"Alcohol?" Hisao seemed uncomfortable all of a sudden "Seriously? Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Lilly giggled "I know it's a bit questionable, but a little shouldn't hurt"

"Well, in that case, I won't complain" Hisao shrugged. His moral code wasn't as rigid as first thought apparently "They don't look bad, either"

"Shall I open one?" Lilly asked the room. Any answer however was drowned out with three loud bangs on the door. I may have swore in English as a result.

"Who is it?" Lilly called

"Lemme' in!" came a familiar voice "I'm cold!"

Lilly sighed as Hanako went to go open the door. In came Akira, still dressed in a suit (it may have even the been same one) "Happy birthday Hanako"

"Th-Thank you...Akira" Hanako responded with a polite bow.

Akira came down and sat herself on the other side of Hanako "It's nice to have your company after all, Akira" Lilly smiled "Did work let you off?"

"Yep" Akira smiled "I have to go back there in a bit, but I managed to get enough of a break to drive down" she looked to us "Hey guys...Hisao and Kaito, right?"

"That's us" Hisao nodded. I just nodded, no words "Nice to meet you again"

Akira clapped her hands suddenly, making both Hanako and I jump a little. The woman looked sorry for the briefest of moments before speaking again, her smile back on her face "Well then, I assume the presents got through? No point in waiting, considering we're all looking pretty eager"

Lilly giggled as Hanako and Hisao shuffled awkwardly. I guess they did want to try the wine.

"Don't like wine" I said aloud, eliciting looks from the others. I scratched my stump in embarassment, the short sleeves of my t-shirt making it fairly easy to do so "Had it once at home. Red, white, rose. Didn't like them"

My parents, while strict in their own way, were never too stingy in regards to letting me try different kinds of alcohol. I had never, much to their relief I imagine, ever really aquired a taste for any of it.

"One glass won't hurt you" Akira smiled as she uncorked the white bottle. Hanako went away and came back with four glasses, Akira filling them all. I accepted one, if only for politeness sake.

"Here's to Hanako," Hisao raised his glass "And to Lilly's trip"

"Cheers!" the two sisters said in unison. Mine came a little later, having momentarily forgotten the formality "Oh, cheers". Hanako stuttered hers "C-Cheers..."

We all took a sip of our glasses. While the wine wasn't as dry as some of the other wines I had tried in the past, I still had to consciously try to not make a face at the taste.

"I was expecting something...harsher" Hisao said. Was he being serious?

Akira shrugged and smiled "If you hadn't liked it, there were a few other varieties you could have tried"

"You sound like you know your wines" he noted

Another shrug from Akira "Only a bit; I'm more of a beer kind of person. I have the drinking side down pat, though" She then drank her entire glass in a single swig. The three of us could only stare in a mix of shock and awe, while Lilly calmly continued to take sips from her own glass.

"Anyway," Lilly said "Now that Akira's gift has been opened and sampled, shall we move on to ours?"

"G-Gifts?" Hanako repeated, as if stunned by the word.

"That's right" Lilly nodded "We got you presents. It is your birthday after all" Lilly revealed her gift to be a modest brown-coloured teddy bear. Hanako handled it gently, feeling its fur before placing back on to the table "Thank you Lilly" she gave the blonde a hug. I smiled at that.

Hisao handled his over next. Hanako gently unwrapped the gift, peeling away the wrapping until the doll and its little green dress revealed itself "It's...It's beautiful" she made a quiet gasping noise.

"Glad you like it" Hisao smiled

It seemed to take a lot of effort on Hanako's part to pull her attention away from the doll "Th-Thank you, H-Hisao". The smile on her face was so warm I felt kind of guilty when she looked to me, no doubt wondering whether I was hiding something.

"I uh..." As much as I had tried, my painting was not finished yet. Unable to find the words, I only dropped my head, not daring to look Hanako in the eye "I'm sorry"

"You said you were making something, Kaito?" Lilly said

I looked up at her, thankful for her words "Yeah" I looked to Hanako, who's expression looked far different than what I was expecting. Her eyes were a little wider, but it looked more like surprise than anything else "It's, uh...It's not finished though"

Hanako didn't seem to mind too much. She leaned back, holding the doll and bear close to her chest, her smile small yet unbelievably warming. We sat there in silence for what felt like a long time, just basking in the glow of Hanako's happiness. Eventually, she put her gifts down by her side and returned to her glass, taking another drink of wine.

"I don't think you should drink it that fast" Hisao warned her

"It's a party, Hisao" Lilly countered, taking a deep drink of her own glass. Sighing in defeat, Hisao took another drink of his own. I was fine, my glass was fine where it was.

"Since this is kind of a going-away party for you as well," Hisao spoke up "I hope you enjoy your trip at least a little, Lilly. Hopefully your aunt will be okay"

"I-I hope your aunt is okay too, Lilly..." Hanako nodded

"Enjoy Scotland" I smiled, recieving an elbow from Hisao for my efforts. I gave him a look. What was that for?

"My my," Lilly smiled, seemingly surprised by us "Thank you all. I'll be sure to convey your thoughts to my family when I meet them"

"It'll all be fine in the end Lilly" Akira said as she refilled her glass "Don't worry about it"

The silence hung heavy over the room, so thick you could cut it with a knife. Which reminded me...

"Is there cake?" I ask hopefully.

My words seemed to lighten the mood. "Yeah" Hisao "Shall I cut it up now?"

"Y-Yes please" Hanako nodded

"I didn't know there was cake" Lilly frowned

"I picked one up before I met up with Kaito tonight" Hisao explained "I brought some other snacks as well"

I may have drooled a little "Awesome"

"Well done, Hisao" Lilly "At least one of us remembered to bring one"

Hisao reached into his back and drew the cake, a modest chocolate one. My mouth watered as he cut it up, it took all my willpower to sit still and not snatch a slice away. We ate in silence, which I liked. I was worried that Hanako woudn't be feeling up to such an event, but she seemed to appreciate the low-key affair. I made a promise to myself that I would spend as much time as I could on her gift. I would not rest until it was done.

Time passed as the four of us smiled and drank, and smiled and drank some more. Well, the others drank, I still hadn't finished my first glass.

Hanako was pouring herself a third glass when she missed and spilled wine on to the table "S-Sorry Lilly..." she apologised, her eyes looking sleepy "I didn't mean to make a mess...I..."

"Don't worry" Hisao chuckled "I've got it..."

Lilly took Hanako in her arms "It's okay, Hanako. I'm just happy you're here" Hanako calmed, giving a faint nod in response. The sight made us all smile. Lilly held Hanako while Hisao went about mopping up the spill. By the time he was done, Akira had opened the other bottle and had started refilling their glasses.

"Looks like you're enjoying the wine then" Akira smiled "Just don't go too crazy with it"

I thought the statement was a bit hypocritical, seeing as she was the one giving underage people alcohol, but I decided not to say anything.

It didn't take long for the second bottle to go empty. Everyone looked tired now, but Hanako...well, let's just say she hadn't moderated herself quite so well. She was smiling with a dopey look in her eyes, playing with her doll's hair. Lightweight.

Lilly had a red looking face, but she still appeared pretty composed. Hisao looked the same, while Akira looked absolutely normal (maybe her smile was a bit bigger, but that was it).

Hanako hiccuped and knocked her doll over "I...think I should maybe go to bed. T-Thank you Hisao, Kaito, Lilly, Aaaakiraaaaa..." Yep. Definitely tipsy. She giggled a bit randomly after that. I didn't know whether to be concerned or to laugh.

Akira rose to her feet "Here. Let me give you a hand"

Lilly coughed, interuppting her sister "Kaito" she said "Would you please?"

Akira looked surprised, as did I "You...want me to take her?"

"Why not?" Lilly smiled "You had the least to drink out of all of us"

I got the feeling she had something else in mind, given her sly smile. I looked to Hisao, who had more of an amused smile.

"Um, okay" I finally said, rising to my feet. Hanako took her doll in one hand and offered me her other hand, which I took as I pulled her to her feet. I took the bear and held it under my arm as I led her next door.

In the space of time it took us to leave Lilly's room and go next door to hers, Hanako had bumped into me at least three times. Hanako put her doll on the shelf next to another one she had "There you go..." she whispered to it "You'll be safe in here..." she backed away from her shelf, nearly tripping over her own feet in the process.

We stood there in silence for a while, Hanako swaying from side to side, it was as strangely relaxing to me as it was distracting "Are you..." I was afraid to ask a stupid question "Are you okay?"

Hanako raised her head to look at me, as if she had just realised I was still in the room.

Then she hugged me. Actually hugged me. Her head held flat against my chest. I awkwardly put my arms around her. She giggled at that.

I'll admit I was a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to this level of physical contact with anyone outside of my family. This hug was currently making lots og mini-me's in my head run around screaming and waving their arms. I wasn't too sure how to respond. Too many senses overloading at once. The warmth of her body, the scent of her hair, the sensation of her hands on my back.

"I...I should go" I whispered

Hanako made a funny mewling noise as she held me tighter "But I want to staaay with you and everyone" she slurred

"You...You can't. I can't" I protested, uncomfortable with the flood of unfamiliar thoughts and feelings that were running in my mind "You, we all need sleep. I need to go now"

She gave a disappointed groan and held me tighter.

"I'll...uh..." I was a little distracted by my heart, which sounded really loud and fast. Hanako was also distracting, with inappropriate thoughts fuzzing my mind the more I looked at her "I'll see you tomorrow?"

With a little nudge, I managed to release myself. But Hanako gave me a look like a kicked puppy "I don't want you to go..."

My face felt uncomfortably warm "I have to" I was afraid of what would transpire I stayed any longer. I couldn't stay.

Hanako hiccuped again and looked downright downcast. Unwilling to leave her like that, I led her to bed. Gently, I managed to lay her down as I sat down beside her.

I awkwardly put my hand on her head, gently stroking her hair as I spoke "Happy birthday, Hanako. I'm sorry we couldn't do more. Goodnight". I left after that, turning off the light as I went.

I went back to Lilly's room to meet with the others. The three are chatting away. Lilly was giggling at something, Akira had a massive grin on her face while Hisao looked decidedly embarassed.

"Kaito!" Hisao greeted me back almost too cheerily "How's Hanako?"

"Um..." I considered telling him about how Hanako got clingy with, but decided against it "She's sleeping"

Lilly smiled "That's good. I have to admit I hadn't thought that she'd drink quite so much"

"Hey it's fine" Akira said "She's all safe and tucked up in bed now. With the way she is..." she trailed off into silence, and I didn't have the drive to ask her what she meant. She rose to her feet "Anyway, I'd better get going. I'm already going to be a bit late as it is"

"But it's already so late" Lilly noted

"Yeah, but we got a bunch of work dropped on us" her sister explained "Overtime it is" She turned back to us just as she was about to leave "You haven't forgotten about the time for the flight and all the rest?"

"Don't worry" Lilly smiled "I have everything ready. It's just a matter of packing when it gets closer to the time to leave"

"Attagirl" she smiled "I'll see you guys later". She left with a wave and a loud thud of a closed door.

"She's loud" I commented, not immediately realising that I had said it alive.

"She is indeed" Lilly smiled

"Is anyone else drunk?" I asked the pair

"I little headache" Hisao admitted "I'll be fine"

"I assure you, I am fine" Lilly said "I can moderate myself"

I sat back down with them, before working up the nerve to ask a question that had been weighing on my mind "Lilly?"

"Yes, Kaito?"

"Do you have any idea what caused that thing? What happened to Hanako, I mean. You've known her longest"

The mood visibly dropped as Lilly sighed "To be honest, I'm not sure of all the details myself. Hanako told me she was in a house fire. I assume she's told you as much as well?"

I nodded "Yes"

"Other than that...she quite simply never told me"

That was surprising "She never told you..." Hisao repeated in disbelief.

Lilly sighed again "Assuming the worst, what does she have to look back upon? A life of isolation and possibly even the death od her family? Maybe even going as far as blaming her existence for their deaths?"

"Damn" Hisao muttered.

"What..." I said "How can we help her?"

"Well..." Lilly spoke "Tell, do either of you have anything planned for friday evening?"

"No" we said in unison

"Don't you leave on Saturday?" Hisao asked "We shouldn't do anything that will tire you out the night before"

"I'll be fine" she smiled "You needn't worry about me. I'd do this tomorrow evening, but I imagine Hanako will be feeling rather off for a while"

"She'll probably throw up" I guessed. Not a pleasant image but it was probably likely, given her apparent lightweight-ness.

"Lovely" Hisao muttered sarcastically "So what are you planning?" he asked Lilly.

"Nothing unusual, I assure you" was her answer "Just a little excursion"

Getting the opinion that she was going to divulge anything else, I rose to my feet "Bedtime" I announced

"Really man?" Hisao gave me a funny look

"He's right" Lilly nodded "It will not be long until curfew"

"You mean I can't stay?" Hisao asked with a small smile

Lilly giggled "Tempting, but I will have to refuse you tonight"

"Okay..." I didn't want to think very hard about they were implying, so I left as quickly as possible "See you tomorrow"

Hisao and Lilly together. I can't say I never saw it coming but it was still jarring to hear it confirmed that way.

That night I dreamed of Hanako, the warmth of her body and scent of her hair. I wasn't too sure how to deal with these new feelings I had for her, but I think a part of me liked them.

I think I'll need a shower in the morning.


	15. Chapter 15

**"In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things"** \- Edna O'Brien

* * *

So I had my shower. It was cold. Very cold. I managed to work a bit more on the painting before I was interrupted by a loud banging noise "Who is it?" I called out. No answer, although the banging continued.

Opening the door, I stuck my head out to see Misha and Shizune knocking on Hisao's door. Really loudly I might add. "Can you stop that?" I complained "I'm working"

Misha snapped her head around to look at me "Kaito!" she grinned. Shizune, having noticed Misha face turn around, looked to me as well and signed "Smith, can you explain why Hisao is not answering his door?"

"He's sleeping" I thought that was obvious

Shizune gave me a funny look before responding "You would think that someone who is capable of hearing would wake at the sound of someone knocking on their door"

I shrugged. I wasn't sure why he wouldn't wake "Maybe he's really tired"

Shizune sighed, seemingly unsatisfied but unwilling to push the matter further, signed something to Misha, to which Misha nodded and looked to me "Well, it will not be long before class starts. Kaito, if you'd be so kind to take this, and make sure Hisao gets this should you see him"

With that, Misha handed me what looked like an envelope. It was addressed to Hisao, but on the letter was another name. Iwanako.

"Okay" I nodded, tucking it under my arm "I'll keep it"

"We expect to see you in class" they said to me. And like that, they left me. So I went back into my room.

They were right, class started soon.

* * *

Hanako and Hisao didn't arrive to class that day. Not surprising I guess, the amount they drank it would only be natural that they'd be ill. I'm pretty sure I called it.

Misha and Shizune descended upon me like crows after the bell.

"How are you feeling today, Kaito?" Misha asked me in her usual bubbly self.

"Um, okay" I shrugged. I wasn't too sure what she wanted. She had to want something, right? "Why?"

"Oh, no reason" Misha smiled in a way that reminded me of my aunt's cat when it had caught a mouse "We just thought it was weird that out of the entire group of Hisao, Hanako, Lilly and yourself, you are the only one that came to class.

Did she know? A bead of sweat may have ran down the back of my neck. "What's your point?"

"Well..." I didn't like the piercing look of Shizune's eyes "We merely thought it was odd. So, we had to ask, what were you doing? Or what were the others doing?"

"Um...I don't know" I shook my head. I was tired and didn't have the energy to bluff

They were smiling at me. It made me uncomfortable "Did something happen last night?"

"We...uh" I looked at Shizune "You knew Lilly was going away? You're her cousin, right?"

Shizune's eyes widened, as if she was surprised "Lilly told you that?"

I shook my head "No. Akira did. I met your brother, uh...Hidi...Hidi-something..."

Shizune rolled her eyes "Hideaki?"

I nodded "Yeah! He told me"

Shizune tapped Misha on the shoulder "Oh, okay...We're getting off-topic. What does Lilly's leaving have anything to do about it?"

"We had a little party" I said "To send her off"

"So why are you the only one in class?"

I shut up there. I couldn't think of an answer that would give away the alcohol "No reason"

Misha and Shizune shared a sly look between them. I was worried that they knew. Fortunately, they let me go without asking anything else.

I stopped at Hisao's door on the way back to my own room. Gently, I tapped on his door "Hisao?" I called "You in there?" There was no reply. I was worried, although I was pretty sure he just had a bad hangover "I've got a thing for you. If you're feeling any better, I'll be in my room"

I spent a few hours in my room doing homework and studying my notes, followed by more work on Hanako's painting.

Hisao never showed up for his letter. I'll give it to him in the morning.

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I have a letter for Hisao. I'm going to give it to him today.

I never saw Hisao in the corridors on the way to class, although he did turn up. Hanako came in too, although I never managed to talk to her until the bell.

"How you feeling?" I asked her.

She smiled "I'm okay"

"Hey" came Hisao's voice "Did either of you guys, uh..."

"Tell someone?" I finished the sentence "No. Not about the drink anyway. Misha and that know we had a party"

"And how do they know that?" Hisao asked, giving me a hard stare.

"I told them" I decided to be honest "Was that wrong?"

"No" Hisao sighed "I guess not"

"Hicchan!" came Misha's cheery call from the side, followed by Shizune (as usual) "Not feeling well yesterday?"

"No, but I'm feeling better now" Hisao smiled, although it faltered when he saw Misha's "You sound like you're not being completely serious"

"Oh no, Hicchan, we're genuinely pleased that you're all better now" the girl smiled like butter would not melt in her mouth "In fact, we were quite worried about you. After all...You, Hanako and Lilly were all absent from class on the same day"

Hisao looked at me, then at Hanako, then finally back to Misha with defeated sigh "I guess you have your own theories about this. Could you just kinda...not tell anyone?"

Shizune crossed her arms with a stern look "It's a bit late for that, Hicchan" Misha mirrored her expression "The only reason why we're giving you such a hard time is that you ignored us yesterday morning!"

"Oh, right, the knocking" Realisation dawned on his face "That was you two?"

"It was, and you left us there for ages after we'd taken all the effort of coming to your dormitory early in the morning"

"Sorry" he apologised "I was having a...problem with nausea? A problem with nausea"

Was that really the best excuse he could come up with? All the possibilities and he went with nausea? Then again, I guess I couldn't be one to talk. I didn't say anything merely because I couldn't come up with an excuse.

"So why were you knocking?" Hisao asked

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! "They had a letter" I explained, fishing into my bag "They had a letter for you, but they gave it to me" I handed him the letter "I knocked too, but you didn't answer"

Hisao looked at the letter, and froze when he read it "...Iwanako"

He stared at it for a long time, long enough that I almost asked him if anything was wrong before he looked up at us and pocketed the letter away "Thank you" he said to us.

"I should think so," Misha grinned "After what we went through to get it to you"

Hisao was quick to say goodbye and leave. Hanako and I left for the library.

Hanako left to go find our hiding spot, having already found her book. I on the other hand went into the maze of books to find something, with only my thoughts to comfort me.

I was trying to wrap my head around my new feelings for Hanako. I hadn't thought very hard about it yesterday, but seeing her today had brought it all back to the surface. I knew I liked her, as a friend. I knew that. But as time went on, I was feeling other stuff...Stuff I wasn't entirely sure how to put into words. Funny feelings in my gut and chest when I saw her. When we hugged...

Something knocked into me, spoiling my train of thought "Sorry!" came a voice. I had walked into Yuuko, she had been carrying a stack of books and never saw me coming.

"Sorry" I said, leaning down to try and help her pick the books "Never saw you"

"It's okay" Yuuko said very quickly "I should have looked where I was going" She stared at me "Can I help you look for whatever it is you're looking for?"

"Um..." Oh yeah, I was meant to be looking for a book "Just, um, no thanks. I'm good"

Yuuko looked at me "Are you...feeling okay?" she asked me. I was either easy to read, or she was perceptive than I gave her credit for "You look troubled"

I scratched the back of my head "It's uh, it's nothing. Just got a lot of things on my mind"

"Anything I can help with?"

"It's uh..." I felt my cheeks feel a bit warmer "It's Hanako"

"Hanako?" Yuuko looked confused for moment, before her mind seemingly came to its worst scenario "Is she okay?"

"What? Yeah, she's fine. She was a bit ill yesterday but she's fine"

Yuuko sighed with one massive breath "That's a relief" Her face returned to one of curiosity "So what's the matter?"

"Nothing" I said "It's just..." I struggled to voice my thoughts, afraid of ridicule "You won't tell anyone?" Yuuko shook her head. I suppose that was the closest I was going to get a promise out of her. I took a breath "Okay. I've been having weird...feelings about Hanako"

Yuuko suddenly looked a little uncomfortable "What kind of feelings?" her voice hesitant.

"It's not much" I said "I still feel happy around her and I still like her as a friend it's just...It feels like I feel...more for her than I used to. I don't know what it is. I don't know..." I sighed, hanging my head "I just don't know"

Yuuko gave me a weird look, but smiled anyway "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were...falling for Hanako"

"What do you mean?"

"You're attracted to her" Yuuko explained "Falling in love?"

There was that word again. Love. "No. I don't think it's love" I shook my head "Love's a...a strong thing. A thing that takes years to grow. Love is for married people. I've barely known Hanako..." I made a vague waving gesture with my hand "...For barely a year"

Yuuko smiled at me "Someone people fall a little faster than others" She tapped my arm with her hand "Your feelings may feel 'weird', but they're real"

"But why?" I was confused. I didn't know how to deal with these feelings "Why do I feel like this? Why Hanako? Why now?"

"Well," Yuuko looked as confused as I was, merely shrugging "People fall in love for a reason. A part of you must like her for a reason. Attraction doesn't just develop on its own, after all"

I looked at her, a long stare that in hindsight probably made her a little uncomfortable, before sighing "Okay". So I liked Hanako, more than a friend. I was 'attracted' to her, I could work with that word. I still had no idea what I was meant to do with all this information "What do you do to find out if someone likes...is attracted to you, back?"

"You could always ask" Yuuko shrugged

Was that a serious answer? I could barely string two words together when I'm nervous, and I understood nerves! I didn't understand my current feelings, I couldn't process them! "N-No! I-I c-can't!"

"Okay!" Yuuko said quickly with panic "Okay, you don't have to say anything. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make you scared"

I took a moment to breathe "Okay. Anything else?"

Yuuko rolled her eyes as she thought "You could...maybe try and get closer to her. Figure it out in time. Maybe spend time with her, give her a gift..."

A gift? The painting!

The bell rang, making Yuuko jump in the air. I felt like my bones had been filled with iron. I knew what to do "Thank you" I said to Yuuko before I left to go back to class.

I ran into Hanako on the way back "Are y-you okay?" she asked me "You never came back".

"I'm okay" I assured her, "I was just talking to Yuuko"

Her face seemed a little sad "Oh, okay"

A gift. That's what I needed. I swore to myself I would spend all my free time working on my birthday present for Hanako. I'd sleep as little as I could so I could get it finished as soon as possible.

* * *

The city may not have been my favourite place in the world, but during the night...well, it still wasn't my favourite but at least it was a little calmer than what it was in the daytime. At least I thought it was.

I was there with Lilly, Hisao, Hanako and Akira. Everyone was in some casual clothing (if I didn't know any better I'd say everyone only had one outfit apiece). Akira had driven us, which was far better than the bus (even if she drive like mad).

Hanako looked great. I was that used to seeing her in the school uniform that I was absolutely stunned when she turned up in a pink blouse, black pants and a denim jacket. She also had a little black hat on her head, which she currently using to hide her face from passing people.

Concerned, I sped up a little to walk beside her "It's nice tonight" I said in an attempt to start conversation.

Hanako smiled "E-Everything looks so p-pretty at night..." before dropping her gaze again as someone looked in our direction.

"Hey," I gave a friendly nudge "It's alright. I'm here" I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I just wanted Hanako to calm down a little. Even if people paid her less heed in the dark, Hanako still walked like a coiled spring.

"So where are we going?" Hisao asked Lilly, as he walked by her side.

Akira, walking on Lilly's other side, smiled at him. I suppose she was the one in charge tonight. I wasn't sure whether or not that was a comfort "You'll see" she said with a big grin "Just follow us"

So on we walked, passing several perfectly good restaurants, cafes and other establishments. Every now and then I had to swerve to avoid some drunk as they stumbled out of a bar.

Hanako, on the other hand, spent so much time staring at the ground that she didn't notice "S-S-Sorry...!" she stuttered at some drunken businessman knocked shoulders with her. The man didn't seem to notice as he stumbled away, mumbling his own apology. Hanako looked back down to the floor and sped up to catch up to us.

As gently as I could, I reached my arm around her shoulder and edged her a little closer to me.

"Hisao?"

"Sorry!" My hand left her shoulder "It's just...stay close, okay?"

She looked at me for a while without saying anything before nodding "Okay"

It took us a while before we came to a stop. Akira led us away from the brightest parts of the city, below the more modern walkways and into the older districts. There was a smell of cigarettes in the air that I couldn't help but wrinkle my nose at.

"A jazz club" Hisao said, noting the sounds of the music inside the club "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting this"

Lilly gave an amused smile "Somehow I feel like I should have known it, Akira"

Some people were giving us funny looks. I knew I wasn't just being paranoid. Was it because I only hand one hand, or was it just because we were the only teenagers in this part of town?

"C'mon guys" Akira smiled "Just because you're teenagers, doesn't mean you can't have a taste. Right?"

"Taste of what?" I asked her

"Everything!" was her incredibly vague answer

"I don't mind the music, if that's what you mean" Hisao said

"I-I...don't mind it...either..." Hanako nodded, her voice incredibly quiet and restrained. I wished she speak with a bit more confidence, like when we were in school. It was meant to be calm night on the town.

I had to admit, jazz wasn't my go-to genre of music. But I would not deny I liked it "Okay" I nodded "Do we, uh, go in?" My eyes were on Hanako, who looked ready for the ground to swallow her up. It made me sad to see her so withdrawn.

I was all too painfully aware how odd a group we looked. Hisao probably looked the most normal. Lilly, Akira and I all looked foreign enough to stand out, let alone by my scars and missing limb and Lilly's blindness. Hanako, of course, was Hanako. Her scars were mesmerising but that was attention she neither needed nor desired.

With a smile Akira led Lilly inside, followed by the rest of us. The lighting inside of the club wasn't that different from the light outside, which meant I wasn't immediately blinded. So that was good. There was an actual jazz band in the corner merrily playing away. I liked that. I always liked it when you could see the instruments in action. As I looked across the tables and bar, I noticed most of the patrons were men, with only a few women, and no one who wasn't at least in their thirties. We were the youngest people here. That made me a little self-conscious. Hanako, strangely enough, seemed to relax.

Akira rested at the bar with the look of a regular patron. Lilly and Hisao took to some seats as well as the bartender approached.

"Evening" he said in a gruff voice "What'll it be?"

"Just a scotch, thanks" Akira said "Lilly?"

"May I have a glass of champag-" Lilly was cut off by the impact of Akira's elbow in her ribs "Orange juice, please"

"I'll have the same" Hisao said

As the man walked away to pour, Akira looked back to Hanako and I as if she had forgotten we were in the room "You going to order something or are you just going to stand there?"

Hanako started to look restless. I can't say I didn't blame her. The idea of ordering a drink myself gave me unreasonable levels of anxiety, and I could probably pass off as someone in their twenties. Hanako, on the other hand did not.

Looking over her shoulder, I noticed there was a kind of games corner part of the club. I looked at Hanako to see if she wanted to check it out, but she was already looking at it.

"You want to play some pool?" I asked her. She nodded

Akira leaned back on her stool to look past us, before shrugging and sitting up straight again.

"It seems that you'll only have Hisao and I for company tonight" Lilly smiled

"Lucky you" Hisao chuckled

"Have fun guys" Akira smiled at us.

I nodded "Okay" and off we went, Hanako taking the lead. I suppose a nice quiet game was really appealing to her. Personally I agreed with her. There was no one else in this corner, so Hanako visibly unwound and stood a little straighter, her head a little higher.

"You...kn-know how to play?" she asked me

"I uh, I played once I think. With my father" I explained "I think I'll be able to make do"

"Eight-ball, then?" she suggested

I shrugged, I wasn't 100% sure what she meant by that "Okay then"

I grabbed the cues off the wall while Hanako set up the balls. Hanako broke and we began.

It wasn't until I was about to take my shot when we realised a problem: I only had one arm, or at least what remained of my left arm wasn't long enough to comfortably rest my cue on.

"Do you...want to try something else?" Hanako asked me. I wasn't sure what she meant, there was only the pool table and I don't think either of us wanted to go back to the bar.

My spirits were lifted slightly as I saw another cue on the wall "I have an idea" I told her as I took it off its hook.

It was one of those specialised cues that ended in an X-shape. Holding the X-cue under my armpit, I laid my other cue into place on top of it. It looked awkward as hell and I had to hold the cue in a strange reverse-grip kind of way, but I managed to pull off a decent enough shot.

"Huh," I smiled at Hanako "How was that?"

She smiled at me "Well done" It was nice to see she was starting to relax.

I nodded towards the ball I managed to sink "That makes me stripes, right?"

She nodded. I stepped back to let her take her turn, but she didn't move. Rather, she looked down a little and rubbed her arm.

"What is it?" I asked her. I had around her long enough to know some of her visual cues. That one meant she wanted to say something.

"It's nothing" she said "It's just...you have a n-nice smile. Do you like...playing this?"

I shrugged "I haven't played in...years I think" My mind felt a bit fuzzy as thought of the memory "It was...I think it was a good memory"

Hanako tilted her head "You think?"

"Yeah" I nodded "Since my accident, my mind gets a little funny sometimes. Memories lost, words forgotten. It's not as bad as it was but...it still happens sometimes"

"You said you played with your father?" Hanako asked. I guess she was trying to jog my memory.

I nodded "Yeah, my dad took me out one night. Can't remember why, but we played some pool at a place like this. I think it was only the one time"

The conversation ended, I let Hanako take her shot. Her expression was identical to the one she had when we played chess. Relaxed but focused. She made a few practiced motions before taking the shot, the ball going in the pocket despite the difficult angle.

"Good one" I smiled "You're much better at this than I am"

"I'm not...th-that good" she blushed

"You are" I stressed "It's the same with chess. You make this face, like a really serious face"

"I just..." Hanako put her cue against the table "I just like those kinds of things..." She was wringing her hands together "When I was in the orphanage...I just...k-kept doing the things I liked...before. If I p-played games with the others, th-that was enough for the helpers there, so..."

That made sense I guess. Those in charge of orphanages would want their charges to socialise, even a little.

"What..." I asked "What was it like, living in an orphanage?" before quickly adding "You don't have to tell me, if you don't want"

"W-Why do you want to know?" she asked me. I think I had touched a nerve "I'll...tell you, but..."

"But?"

"Could you...t-tell what your l-life was l-like?"

Oh. "Okay" I began to speak as I took my shot "I lived with both my parents. They were nice people. Dad was a construction worker, my mother was a...a...office person. An accountant I think. We lived outside the city. I didn't...I didn't have many friends" I took my shot, and missed. With a little curse, I backed off and let Hanako take her shot. She scored. "Good job" I said

Hanako started speaking as she took up her next shot "The orphanage...was nice. It felt a bit like Yamaku does...and the staff was r-really kind. But as th-the years went on, I realised something. I was d-different" the way she spoke reminded me of when she told me about the fire. Like she was forcing the words out. Her grip on the cue tightened as she continued "M-Most of the children there were up for adoption, just like I was. But unlike me...they gradually left, o-one by one. By the time I went to Yamaku, I was...among the oldest children there. For a while, I h-helped with some of the y-younger children, b-but eventually..."

I put a hand on her shoulder in what I hoped was a calming gesture "It's okay"

She looked, somewhat surprised, but nodded and put her cue down and turned towards me "Do you...really think so?"

I nodded "Yeah. I think. Even if Lilly's gone, you've got me and Hisao and that to look out for you. Right?"

Hanako just stared at me in response. It was a little unnerving. I was so used to Hanako not looking at people that her prolonged eye contact spooked me a little. She had really nice eyes though "H-Hanako?"

"I..." Hanako spoke "I understand. Thank you" She smiled and looked away.

As set up my shot, I looked at Hanako. She had head down and wasn't looking at me or even the table. I was worried, did I say something wrong? I know she didn't talk a lot, but I wish she'd say more, or at least speak her mind more often. With a thud, the ball knocked into my desired target, only for it to ricochet off the eight-ball and knock that into the corner pocket.

"That's bad" I noted "Isn't it?" I looked to Hanako, who was smiling again (maybe mistakes were worth it).

"I win" she said

I sighed. Seems like I was pretty rusty after all. Hanako started to shoot the remaining balls into the pockets when she spoke up again "Um, Kaito"

"Yeah?"

"I'm..." I'm sure what it was, but her voice sounded a little bit different when she spoke "I'm here for you as well"

That made me feel a little warmer in the face, and I found myself "I...Thanks. Thank you"

Hisao came over not long after that to tell us we were leaving. As the five of us walked out, I felt weird as I looked at Hanako. She was acting funny all of a sudden. I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but I felt as if there was some kind of wall between us now.

"So," came Akira's chipper voice "You guys enjoy yourselves?"

Hanako and I both nodded and agreed "Yes" The game was good, and I guess we did learn a bit about each other in the process.

"Worried about your trip, Lilly?" Hisao asked

"A little" she sighed

"So that means really worried" he smiled

Akira clapped a shoulder on Lilly's hand with a laugh. Even Hanako cracked a smile.

"You'll be okay, Lilly" Hanako said "I hope you can enjoy your time over there"

"Thank you, Hanako" Lilly nodded "It will be nice to be back with my family, after all, no matter for how brief a time it may be"

So we went back to the car, small talk passing between us. As we walked, I tried to get my thoughts in order.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I am attracted to Hanako. I have...feelings for Hanako.

This is weird.


	16. Chapter 16

**"One of life's most simple pleasures is spending time with those we love"** \- Ash Sweeney

* * *

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I am attracted to Hanako. I have...feelings for Hanako. My feelings are weird, but they are real.

* * *

We were all up early to see Lilly off. She had gotten a taxi to take her to the airport. We were all outside the school gates, waiting for it to arrive.

"How long's it going to take?" I asked. I didn't mean to whine, but I was wasting valuable time I could better spend on studying, or far more likely painting, or even more likely sleeping.

"It should be here in a few minutes" Hisao answered, looking at his watch. He looked to Lilly "Should we try and call them again?" he asked her.

"Maybe after ten minutes" she shrugged in response "They've never let me down before. There's probably just a little traffic"

"So how long does it take to get to Scotland?" I asked out of the blue, not really enjoying the silence that had settled. I had tried passing the time by picking away the dried bits of paint off he gate, but that had proved to dull, even for me.

"About sixteen hours, if I remember correctly" was Lilly's answer "It's a bit hard to tell with the changing time zones"

"So long..." Hanako noted. She was being really quiet this morning. I chalked it up to it being so early.

"Yeah" I shared her disbelief. I personally couldn't imagine being stuck on any kind of transport for that long. I think I'd lose my mind.

"It's not too bad" Lilly assured us "I'll spend most of it either asleep or catching up on my English. I hardly use that here so I need to re-familiarise myself with it a little"

"I could have helped you with that" I said in English. I was fluent, and I always looked for an excuse to show it off.

Lilly smiled with a raised eyebrow, and the looks on Hisao's and Hanako's faces (incomprehension and amazement) gave me a little boost "H-How well d-do you speak English?" Hanako asked me

"Dad's British" I explained "I grew up speaking it as well as Japanese"

"That's pretty impressive" Hisao noted, which made me smile.

"W-will your accent...be a problem, Lilly?" Hanako asked

"I wouldn't worry about that too much" Lilly smiled "It may be an issue initially, but I should be fine once I get used to it"

So we all sat on that bench. Well they did anyway, I got restless legs and got up to pace. Despite Lilly leaving, I couldn't bring myself to say anything other than goodbye.

I kept looking at Hanako, she was chewing her fingernails. She looked nervous. I moved to say something to try and calm her when I heard the sound of a rumbling engine.

Hisao must have heard it too "I think the taxi's on its way" he announced to the group.

"Well spotted Hisao" Lilly smiled "I only just heard it as well" Personally I thought that was cool. That meant I must have heard it at the same time as Lilly as well. My hearing skills were on par with a blind person's. I thought that was pretty cool.

The taxi pulled up right beside us. The driver emerged and took Lilly's luggage, storing it in the trunk while Lilly climbed into the back seat.

"Have a safe trip, Lilly" Hanako said through the open window

"Take care of yourself" Hisao told her.

"Bye" I said.

Hanako looked sad. She sounded sad as well. "I'll be back before long, Hanako. Don't worry" Lilly said to Hanako "Besides, you'll still have people here for you. Won't there be, boys?"

"Yeah" I smiled at Hanako, putting a hand on her shoulder. Hanako went red in the face and dropped her gaze again.

"We'll look after her" Hisao promised "See you, Lilly"

"Goodbye!" Hanako and I said in unison.

With that, the driver left. We stayed there until taxi was just a little dark dot in the distance.

"Well," Hisao spoke, breaking the silence "I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to hit the books, seeing as I'm awake and alert now" with that, he strolled back inside without so much as a backward glance.

I looked to Hanako "I don't really want to do any studying at the moment. You?"

Hanako shook her head "What...do you want to do?" she asked me.

"I...uh..." I scratched the back of my head "Do you just want to, I don't know, spend some time together"

She gave a little nod "Okay"

I smiled at that. I looked away from her for moment when my vision landed on a bus that was just pulling up to the nearest stop. Before I could stop or think I blurted out "City?"

"Huh?"

"You want to um, go into the city?" I asked her "We could, I don't know, look for a bookshop or something" I wasn't quite sure what I was saying. I didn't like the city, and I hated buses. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to-"

"Okay" she said

"Huh?"

"Okay" she said again with a nod.

"Really?" I was surprised I'll admit. I didn't think she was any more fond of the city than I was.

"R-really" she smiled "Let's go"

Chalking this moment up as a moment as a miraculous effect of an early rise improving our psyche, the pair of us sped off the catch the bus before we left.

* * *

I knew it would be busy. It was a Saturday afternoon, how could it not be? But even then I was not prepared for the crowd. People were everywhere. Hanako clung on to my arm as we made our way through the crowd, although it was a little awkward as she was holding on to my intact arm, so I was pushing my way through with only half an arm, which kind of made me a little self-conscious.

We had made our way to a small clearing when I voiced the awkward question "Can you...um...maybe hold on to my other arm?"

"Sorry?" Hanako looked up at me

"I know it's a bit weird," I admitted "But it's kind of the only hand I have at the moment. I um, kind of uh...need it. Sorry"

"Oh" she looked to my other arm "Okay". Hesitantly, she moved to my other side and wrapped her hands around my stumpy arm. I couldn't imagine it felt right under her grip.

"I'm sorry" I apologised "I know it's weird, but I really feel better if I have my hand free"

"It's..." I could feel Hanako's fingers gently stroking parts of the scar tissue on my stump "It's okay..."

It just occurred to me she was the first person outside my family or nursing staff that had ever touched my scars. It was weird, but nice "So um...where are we going? We looking for a bookshop?" I didn't have tons of money, but I should've had enough for a few books.

I looked at her, she nodded ever so slightly "O-Okay. D-Do you know of one?"

"Um..." I racked my brain for memories "I think there was one the last time I was here, with Hisao and Lilly. When we were looking for your...for your uh..." I trailed off as I realised the uncomfortable subject. Hanako seemed to figure it out anyway, her face turning sad again. "I'm sorry" I mumbled.

"You...spent a lot of time?" she asked

"What?"

"Looking?" she clarified "For...presents?"

I nodded "For the better part of a day. We wanted to get good stuff"

Hanako went a little red as she smiled "You said you were m-making something?"

I nodded "A painting" I couldn't help but smile at the thought "I'm almost done"

"I-Is it nearby?" Hanako asked "The bookstore?"

"I...think so" I said "Wanna' check it out?"

"S-Sure" she nodded.

The crowds started to build up as we made our way towards the shop. Hanako was holding tightly on to my arm, which made us a little slower as I was practically pulling her along. At least I had my hand to sort of nudge people out of the way. There was the rumble of traffic, which made me feel jealous.

"I wish I could drive" I said aloud.

"D-Drive?" Hanako said, my statement ever so slightly distracting her from the crowds.

"Yeah. I wish I could drive, then I wouldn't have to deal with all these people" I looked down at her "What about you? You ever tried learning?" Silence was my answer, so we just pressed on.

Eventually we came to the bookshop I had been talking. Sadly, it was closed.

"That sucks" I noted "You'd think they'd be open on weekends"

"Bookshops...don't make money anymore, because of the internet" Hanako explained. Maybe they just had to close over weekends?"

I was confused by that a little. If a shop wanted business, then would it not make sense to stay open on weekends. Lots of people did their shopping on weekends after all, right?

"I'm not sure what to do now" I admitted "Anywhere else you'd like to go?"

"I-If it's not...not a bother..." Hanako started to slowly say "Could you show me where you all bought my presents?"

"Uh...Sure" I said "I mean I don't know where Lilly got the bear, but I know where Hisao's came from. You want to go there?"

She nodded, and we were off. I had to concentrate to make sure I was actually right about where it was. If memory served correctly, Hisao and I did find it by accident. Luckily, I was right in my judgement, and we came across it in no time.

"Othello's Antiques" I read the shops name aloud.

"I-It's small" Hanako noted

I shrugged "It is. Took us a while before we found it"

"Can we go in?" she asked

"Alright" I shrugged.

Hanako went in first, with me following close behind. As it was before, the owner was the only person inside. The owner looked up from his book and raised his eyebrows at me.

"I know you from somewhere" he muttered aloud, before getting out of his seat "Wait. You were here last week, weren't you? You're not here for a return are you? No, wait. You didn't buy anything did you? Your friend did?"

I was initially stunned. The man had barely said two words to me the last time, now here he was speaking to me a mile a minute. The only reason he stopped talking was because he noticed that I was missing an arm this time. "I uh...We uh, just came for another look, sir. We're not returning anything"

"Oh" the owner look surprised. Guess he wasn't used to people, let alone high school kids, coming back to the shop. He gave me, or rather my arm, another look over before his eyes landed on Hanako. The girl froze like a deer in the headlights. The old man was about to speak to her, when I think he caught notice of her scars. His reaction was about as standard as you'd expect. Initial shock, then curiosity followed by awkward silence. I would have angrier if my own reaction hadn't been so similar.

"Feel free to look around then" the man mumbled.

Hanako went about the shop, closely followed by myself. She stopped when she came across the doll section, studying the features of each and every one of them. She looked a little relaxed now that she was distracted and the store owner was out of sight. I personally was still a little put off. I had always gotten funny looks from others, but never the kind of reaction that Hanako received.

"This is a nice shop" Hanako smiled. She had a very nice smile.

"It is" I found myself smiling back at her "You want to buy something?"

"I-I didn't bring any money"

"Oh, okay" I had to think of something quick to try and cheer her up "We can always come back some time"

"W-We can?"

"Yeah. As often as we'd like" Especially now that I know where it is.

"Th-Thank you" her smile was back "C-Can we go back to the school now?"

I nodded "Sure" While I enjoyed my time with Hanako, I didn't want to stay in the city any longer than I had to.

So we left. The shop owner watched us go, looking through the curtain of the shop window, which I thought was a bit weird. I stopped thinking about though once the bus arrived. I didn't think Hanako had noticed anyway.

* * *

Neither of us really said a word on the way back, from the bus to the school dorms.

"Well then," Hanako spoke up as we approached the dorms "Goodbye"

"Do you want to do something else?" I asked her "Tea? Game of chess or something?" I wasn't really picky. I just wanted to spend some time with her.

She shook "I...I'm tired. Maybe later? I've got homework..."

"Okay then" I had homework to do myself "I'll see you later"

"See you, Kaito" and like that, she was gone. Inside the girls dorm and out of sight.

I yawned as I went back to my room. Today had been tiring.

As I entered a looked at the stack of homework that awaited, my eyes fell upon the painting on the easel. I hadn't lied to Hanako, it was nearly done. I looked to the clock. It was only seven in the evening. Homework could wait.


	17. Chapter 17

**"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change"** \- Michael Jackson

* * *

So my day started like any other: Wake up, memory-thing, fake things, clothes, food, class. It wasn't until class actually started that something brought me out of my monotonous daydream.

Hanako's seat was empty. Again.

I never truly got used to that sight, and I was even more worried now that Lilly was gone. It was strange, I didn't care for Lilly all too strongly (she was a friend, but I think myself very close to her) but I seemed to have had come to see her as a safety net for Hanako's mental state. Now she was gone, I worried more.

I found myself unable to focus. Every now and then I would glance back to her chair, as if trying to will her reappearance. What really bothered me was that no one noticed, no one cared. I know it wasn't unusual for her not to be present but still, did no one care?

What worried me especially was that it was the day before her birthday. Mentioning it in class made her break down, it made her sad. It was afraid to find out just how sad her birthday would make her.

It was Hisao who snapped me back to reality "Are you alright?" he asked me "You look kind of distracted"

I didn't verbally answer, rather deciding to look back at Hanako's chair again.

"Ah" he sighed "You're worried about Hanako?"

"I miss her"

His smile was weird. Almost sad, but with something else "I'm sure she'll be fine" I wish I shared his optimism.

Hisao and I joined Shizune and Misha for lunch that day. Still no sign of Hanako.

Hisao was made to get their lunches. I got my own. Some ramen. I liked ramen. We all sat in silence as we ate. Or least I was silent. The others were speaking before they tucked in.

"So what do we owe the pleasure?" Hisao asked the girls "I assume after you have some kind of ulterior motive for this?"

"What are you faying, Hiffan!" Misha said in-between mouthfuls of bread "We mon't hafe any uffer mofiffe!"

Shizune gave a small look of disgust as she lowered her chopsticks and tapped her pink-haired friend on the shoulder. Misha swallowed and spoke again "Sorry. As I was saying Hicchan, we don't have any ulterior motive!"

"You don't want us to help with some classwork?" Hisao asked

"Nope"

"There's no information you want out of either of us?"

"Nuh-uh!"

Hisao smiled "So you clearly just want to sit with Yamaku's most handsome students?" What?

Misha seemed to find him funny at least. She burst into laughter "That's right!"

Shizune merely rolled her eyes and made Misha say something else "As our duty as Class Representatives, as well as members of the Student Council, we feel it is our duty to ensure the happiness of our fellow students"

"So what do you really want?" I asked with a mouthful of ramen. I wasn't in the mood for proper etiquette.

"We believed, Kaito, that you would benefit from our company. After all, you and Hicchan spend so much time with Lilly and Hanako that it must seem strange, maybe even lonely, to have neither to talk to"

Wow. Were we really...Was I that transparent? It was true I was saddened by Hanako's absence, even if it were only temporary. But I worried for the girl, a lot. I wanted to help her, and at times (I knew it sounded stupid) it felt like I was the only one that was trying. I knew Mutou believed that letting her skip class whenever she liked helped, but was it really making any difference? She still skipped class, and she wasn't really changing.

"Kaito?" came Misha's voice "Has your ramen gone cold?"

"Huh? No. Why?"

"Because you were making a face" Misha explained "Like this!" she then made a face that was in no way very flattering. Well, at least Hisao and Shizune found it funny.

"I was...thinking" I admitted

"About Hanako?" Hisao asked me.

I nodded.

The girls were now definitely interested "Tell us more" Misha said

"She...uh..." I didn't like the way Shizune stared. Even when she wasn't trying to be nice to me her eyes looked unsettling when they were completely focused on you "She's never in. And her birthday's coming up. How can give her her present when she's not here?" I had it all planned out in my mind: I would have given the painting its final touches tonight, it would dry as I would have slept so when I was ready to give it to her, it would be perfect. Now I wasn't sure that would be able to happen.

The girls shared looks and sign in silence, the only sign I recognised being Misha's shrug "The only people she's ever talked to more than a sentence or two are Lilly and the two of you" Shizune signed something else "There are a few things that we do know about Hanako as Student Council members, thanks to the records that often pass through our hands. Sadly though, we can't say anything about what's in them"

"That's understandable" Hisao noted. While frustrating, I had to agree with him.

I sighed. I suppose that I'd have to ask Hanako herself about anything remotely related to her or her past.

"I wouldn't worry, Kaito" Misha assured me "It happens every year, after all"

Wait, what? Every year? Every year she'd close herself off from the world and no one thought there was something wrong with that?

Hisao must have noticed my expression, because he looked at me as he said "Everyone has their own problems, I suppose"

"Can't we help her though?" I complained. No one had an answer to that.

The mood eventually lightened up thanks to Misha's default state of perpetual perkiness, but my thoughts never left Hanako.

* * *

I had decided to visit her after class. Mutou had asked me to deliver some of todays work to her, so I had no reason not to.

The dorms were quiet as I walked up the stairs and down the hallway, my steps seemingly loud in the silence (at least to me). I awkwardly stood in front of my door, staring at the worksheets in my only hand and then at the door. I finally settled with briefly holding the papers in my mouth while I quickly knocked.

Nothing. Nothing answered me. Just silence.

I knocked again. A little bit harder, louder, this time. Still nothing.

"Hn-" I mumbled before realising my blunder. I folded the papers under my stump so I could knock and still speak "Hanako?" I called as I knocked a third time "It's me. Kaito. I got you some stuff from the teacher"

The was the faintest sound of the handle rattling, and the door opened the slightest. I could see Hanako a little. She looked tired. Really tired, with an empty look on her face that was scarily familiar. "Uh, Hi...Ha-Hanako" I said, my voice all nervous all of a sudden. I took the worksheets out from under my arm, silently cursing them for their slightly crumpled look as I held them out "Papers from, uh...From teacher" She stared at me, a slightly confused look on her face "What?" I asked her "What's wrong?"

Hanako never answered me., rather she just took the papers out of my hand. Her movements were incredibly slow and almost robotic. She didn't look at me while she did this.

"Are you okay?" I felt I had to ask her, just to hear my worries confirmed. "You sick?" You want me to get the nurse?"

She decided to meet my gaze, her gaze still slightly confused. I couldn't understand why? I thought my questions were pretty clear (unless I had some how slipped into speaking English by accident. It's been a while since that's happened, but it's happened) She seemed to get the gist of it "I'm fine" she said.

I gave her another look. Her eyes were red and her sleeves looked damp. Had she been crying? "You're upset" I wasn't sure whether that came out as a question or not "You want me to stay?" I asked, making the conscious effort to make sure I was speaking Japanese.

I eyes fell from my gaze. I had only made it worse, it seemed "I'm sorry. I don't like seeing you upset, that's all"

She shook her head, and closed the door in my face without another word.

Confused, and more than a little upset, I went back to my room. I couldn't understand her. How was I meant to help when she all she does is shut me out?"

I didn't work on the painting that night. Rather I just stripped down into nothing and fell into bed. Didn't have the drive for pyjamas.

* * *

Hanako wasn't in class the next day either. Guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but it still frustrated me.

Her birthday had to be the reason I thought as I stared at the clock, the minutes ticking away as my mind spun. Why else would she get so upset about something? I still had no idea how to help her. If it were physical pain, I might have had some ideas, but emotions? Mental pain? I had nada.

I decided I had to ask someone. With little to no one to talk to I went to Hisao's a few hours after class and told him about the situation. His response was to shrug his shoulders.

"I know what you mean" he said, referring to Hanako's situation "I tried to check on her today, and she just told me to go away"

"So what do we do?" I asked him

"I called Lilly. She just said to leave her alone. Give her the space she needs and let her come out on her own time"

"Huh?" That seemed very un-Lilly-like to me. Surely she'd want us to help her friend when she could not "But that doesn't help"

"It's what she said" he shrugged

"Can I talk to her?"

He shrugged again "You got a phone?"

I nodded, pulling one from my back pocket. It was an older phone and it probably only had about three or four numbers on it, including my own, but it was mine.

He held out an open hand. Getting the message, I handed it to him. he typed something before handing it back. "That's the number she gave me. You can call her yourself"

I nodded, returning to make the call in my own room. In all honesty, I didn't like using phones. I found it harder to converse over a phone than I did in real life. I only kept one for practicality reasons. Taking a moment to theorise the potential conversation and rehearse my lines, I pressed call and put the phone to my ear.

My plan fell apart immediately. First off, Lilly didn't answer the phone. It was an older woman, probably her mum. Secondly, she didn't answer in Japanese. It took me a moment to realise I had just heard English spoken to me for the first time in what felt like a long time. I had to quickly rephrase my lines in English "Um, hi. This is uh, Kaito speaking. Is uh, Lilly there?"

A little surprised noise came from the other end "Oh, you're one of Lilly's friends. I must say, your English is really good"

"Um, thanks?"

"Just a moment" She said. I heard her call out in Japanese "Lilly dear, you have another friend asking for you!"

There's a moment of silence as the phone changed hands "Hello" came the familiar Japanese voice "Lilly speaking"

"Hi Lilly" I said. She made a yawning noise that sounded like a dying farm animal "You okay?"

"Just tired" she responded "What time is it there?"

"Um..." I quickly checked my clock "Six Twenty-Five"

"Hanako's not well" Lilly cut right to the chase "Is she?"

"No" I agreed sadly "But you knew that. Hisao told you"

"He did" she sighed "And...Well it is her birthday. I had always hoped that she had gotten better after coming to know you and Hisao, but..."

"You told Hisao to do nothing?" My question may have sounded a little harsher than I intended.

"I did"

"Why? We should help her"

"Because as much as I worry about Hanako, Kaito, there are others I worry about just as much as of late"

"Like who?"

"Like you, Kaito"

I can't say I was expecting that answer "What? Why?"

"Please understand that I didn't mean to offend you" she added. I guess I sounded angrier on the other end "Just try and listen" So I listened "For some time now I fear that the both of you may have been feeding each others more worrying habits. I tried to amend this before leaving, but it seems to have done little"

"I don't understand" I truly didn't "I'm making Hanako worse?"

"No, not worse" Lilly assured "But not better either"

"I don't get it"

"When I asked you about what you had in mind for the future, your answer was very similar to what Hanako had said in the past when I would ask her. It is well and good that you want to protect her, but I fear that treating Hanako like this, as if she were a daughter or someone in need of special care will only achieve the opposite"

"So what do you suggest I do then?" I asked

"Try and help yourself, and cater to your own needs before thinking of Hanako. I know it may be difficult, but I truly think it's the best action"

There was a moments silence as I thought. Lilly wasn't wrong. While I hardly had Hanako on my mind 24/7 I wouldn't deny I thought of her often. But I still didn't understand what I was doing wrong "How would this be different from what I'm already doing"

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that for you, Kaito" Lilly's voice said "While I cannot fault you for wanting what's best for Hanako, we all do, I fear you are neglecting your own needs in your efforts to make her happy"

Was I? I spent a little less time sleeping because I was working on her painting, but who's to say I would have actually slept anyway. Was that what she talking about that? "But what happens if I leave her alone?"

"She'll emerge from her room in her own time, like she has done every year before" she assured me "Just focus on your own well being for the now. I think...I hope that this time apart will allow you, the both of you, to decide what you truly want. Have faith in her. That is all I ask"

"Oh..." the word felt heavy in my throat "Okay"

"Thank you" Lilly sighed "I know it must seem confusing, your relationship with Hanako, but trust me when I say she..." she stopped talking.

"She...what?" I asked

Lilly never directly answered, rather she said "Please keep in mind that I would not have befriended you if I hadn't thought you were a fundamentally good person. You've been a good friend to us all. Hisao, myself, and Hanako"

I wasn't expecting a compliment "Uh, thanks" I cleared my throat "Thank you"

There was silence as neither really knew what else to say. Eventually I just said "I'll talk to you later" It was my automatic phone farewell.

"Goodbye, Kaito. Think on what I've said, please"

"I...I will. Bye" With that, I hung up.

So this was going to be it. This would be the moment where I change my mentality. Stop killing time and think about the future and what person I was going to be on the other side. What was Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith going to be me.

But first...I looked to the painting on my easel. That birthday gift that was never gifted. I wouldn't leave it unfinished. I was going to be that kind of person.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I have feelings for Hanako. Tomorrow...I start planning for the future.

* * *

 **Authors Note**

It's just occurred to me that since the posting of the last chapter, this is now officially my longest story (most words anyway). Not really that important, but I felt the need to say it anyway.


	18. Chapter 18

**"To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often"** \- Winston Churchill

* * *

It was done. My painting was done.

I stood there in the early hours of the morning, my artwork lit only by the rising sun shining through my window. I had came to a decision: the painting would remain in my room until I saw Hanako again. Then I would give it to her. After all, it was a gift, and a gift isn't a gift if it's not gifted.

I knew I was meant to move on from worrying about Hanako, but I still found her empty desk increasingly upsetting. Every time I tried to focus in class my gaze would fall back on that empty desk. I couldn't help it.

On one certain look, my eyes were caught by another sight. "Oh. Hey Miki"

Miki smiled at me. It was a big, toothy grin "Maybe you should go for lunch" she suggested "I can hear your stomach growling from over here"

I sighed as she approached me. I _was_ hungry. She came at sat on the corner of my desk. I may have had to quickly avert my gaze as I found myself staring at her slender, tanned legs.

"So what you working on?" she asked with a smirk, seemingly enjoying my discomfort.

"Maths" I answered "I thought if I read it a bit, it'd make more sense but..." I sighed again. I hated numbers.

"Let me see!" she said, taking the textbook away from me before I could say anything. She skimmed through a few pages before dropping it back down on my desk "Screw math!" she stated "It's boring as hell"

"So you're not that good at it either?" I assumed

"Yep" she nodded "Hey, you think it's worth asking that librarian for help? I hear she's shooting for uni"

"Yuuko?" I was a little doubtful about her ability to help. I had the impression that any requests made of her would probably make her mind short-circuit from shock. "I don't know"

I stared at the books for a little longer before I thought of another question "Miki? Do you have any idea what you're doing after graduation?"

Miki seemed to think about it for a moment "...Nah, not really. Just enjoying it while it lasts" She dropped her gaze and rubbed her arm as she said it, so I think I made her uncomfortable.

"Sorry" I muttered

"You apologise a lot"

"Sorry about that"

"You thinking about Hanako?"

That question threw me a little "Um...Yeah" I sighed "Is it that...obvious?"

"You're quiet, but even quieter than usual. That and you've been looking at her seat a lot today. Doesn't take much to connect the dots"

I sighed "I worry. Is that wrong?"

"No, not really. I can see why you would be. She can get...weird, sometimes"

I tried to not get too annoyed by her comment. I doubt she meant it as insulting. I didn't think Miki was that kind of person.

"No offense, I mean" she quickly added "I know she's not a bad person"

"I know. It's just..." I struggled to verbalise what I was feeling "I have...feelings for her. I get frustrated when I hear bad things about her. Makes me feel less...sure, I guess"

"Sure of what?"

Of that, I had no idea. My response was to shrug my shoulders "I don't know"

"It's...hard to forget what happened to her during class, you know" Miki said.

I wished she hadn't reminded me. I knew people had seen her, but that didn't make me feel better, and I knew that people staring was precisely what Hanako didn't want.

"Hey," Miki gave me a gentle nudge "Don't get that down. She's done this kind of thing before. You just gotta' wait it out"

Was it really meant to be that easy? A girl that I liked locks herself in her room, refusing contact from those closest to her, from me, and I wasn't meant to be concerned? I knew there was nothing I could do, but that didn't make the decision to wait any easier.

And then that's when I saw it. I saw something that made me do a double take.

Hanako just walked into class.

She walked to her seat as calmly and quietly as she always did. She looked at me before blushing and dropping her gaze. It was then I realised I had been staring. I felt bad, but I couldn't help it.

Miki gave me a smirk "See? Your sweetheart's back already. What did I tell you?"

"Shut up" I grumbled

Miki chuckled, before getting off my desk "I gotta' go Kaito. Remember to eat some time, alright?"

"Okay" I smiled. It was nice to see that she cared. I wasn't sure if would call her a friend, but Miki wasn't exactly just a random person anymore. Regardless, I liked her. Not like as in "Hanako-like" like. But I was rambling. She left.

With no one else in class, I got up and went over to Hanako.

"H-Hello" she said as I approached.

"Hi" I smiled. We spent a moment in awkward silence before I added "So uh...How are you?"

"...I'm f-fine" she responded, her body language stiff like wood. Maybe I made a mistake talking to her so soon.

"You want to uh, get some food or something? I'm pretty hungry"

"But...I thought you were studying?"

"Math" I nodded "I don't like math. No good at it" Besides, studying could wait. I could only assume coming to class took a massive amount of effort on Hanako's part. I wanted to spend time with her, make sure that effort wasn't wasted "Besides, I lost my focus a while ago. Don't think I can think right for studying right now"

I held out my hand "Come on. Let's go"

She took my hand, and slowly rose from her chair "...Okay"

* * *

Days went by, and I found myself studying in the Shanghai. I had thought that maybe a change in environment would help. But admittedly, the improvement was only slight at best. At least it was quiet, and there was hot chocolate.

Hanako was back into the regular routine. But weirdly, I think I was the one that was different now. I think that was good though. I was a good different. I was trying to improve I told myself. Improve.

I still groaned in frustration. I was finding the subject too hard. That sounded whiny but it was true. Why did change have to be so difficult?

"Um..." came a voice. It was Yuuko. She was holding a damp towel in her hands.

"You need to clean the table?" I asked her

Yuuko jumped slightly at the sound of my voice "Well...yes, but that's not what I was..." she took a moment to compose herself "What are you having problems with?"

"History"

To say Yuuko's expression changed would be to put it lightly. If I could make someones day with a single word, it would seem that I'd done it "Oh! I think I can help you with that!" Her face became nervous again "Um, if you don't mind...of course..."

I welcomed the idea of help. Especially help that was offered. Made my life easier, after all "Okay" I nodded.

With a clap of her hands she threw her towel somewhere over the counter and came to sit down across from me "So what are you studying?" I handed her my notebook, to which she took with eager hands "So...the Edo Period. Is that what you're working on?"

I nodded "Know anything about that?"

She quickly read through my notes, her enthusiasm fading "I'm afraid I don't know much about this area. My area was more European history, mainly the classical era. Sorry" She sadly handed me my notebook back before her smile appeared again "Would you like another hot chocolate?"

I nodded with a smile "Please"

I leaned back in my seat, eyes closed, enjoying the peaceful quiet as Yuuko went and made my hot chocolate. I enjoyed everything that Yamaku and the town had to offer. The quiet of the town, its rural greenery, the relaxing pace that everyone lived at, as well as the order and routine that was school life. Everything was certain, and familiar. Familiar was good.

I hoped that, when the day came that I would have to live on my own (wasn't that a scary thought), that I could live in a town just like it.

I almost fell asleep, with only the sound of Yuuko placing my hot chocolate on the table bringing me to my senses.

Yuuko sat down as I took a careful sip of my drink. It was still a little hot and I didn't want to burn my tongue like the last one.

"It's a shame you're no good at history" Yuuko said "Although I would guess you were more of a science student"

"Why?"

"You've read nearly the entire science fiction section of the library already, both the Japanese and English books" she smiled

I shrugged "I like biology, but the other sciences...chemistry and physics and that..." I shook my head "No good. Too many numbers"

"That's a shame" Yuuko seemed genuinely sad on my behalf.

"Do you really like history then?" I asked "I mean, I heard you were taking it in college or something"

Yuuko nodded a "Yes" so I kept speaking "You want to go to all the old places in other countries? See all the things, like a digger or something?"

She nodded again "Yep. I'd like to visit the mediterranean sometime and see the old architecture and art for myself, although I don't think I could ever trust myself to handle such delicate things. I'm saving up so I can formally study it in university, although I am reading up on it whenever I have the time"

I blew on my hot chocolate "Sounds exhausting" I commented

"Yeah" Yuuko seemed to deflate a little, as if my comment just reminded her how tired she ought to be "It is"

So I sat there in silence, sipping hot chocolate while trying to read my book at the same time, while Yuuko sat across from me in silence. She seemed to be enjoying the quiet too.

I looked up after what felt like an hour (it was probably less) to see Yuuko waving to someone outside. The quick ring of the bell at the door revealed who it was.

It was Hanako.

She made her way over to us, sitting down with a polite "H-Hello..."

"Good afternoon" Yuuko smiled in return

"Hey" I smiled as well "What's up?"

"N-Nothing..." Hanako said " I was just...g-going for a walk...since the weather was nice"

"Yeah" I agreed "It is today, isn't it? Much nicer here than the library. Can't see the sun in the library"

Yuuko nodded in agreement "It's just a shame that summer can't last forever" Her face quickly became alarmed as she turned to Hanako "I'm sorry! Would you like a drink?"

Hanako shook her head, so Yuuko calmed down "H-How are you going with studying?" Hanako asked me.

"Okay...I guess" I shrugged.

"How's Lilly doing?" Yuuko asked Hanako

"Sh-She's enjoying it...I think" she answered

Yuuko sighed "It would be so nice to travel to Scotland. Green fields, castles, lovely small towns, men in kilts (she seemed to space out a little at that), interesting history..."

"Also rain" I added "My dad grew up there. He says we get more sun here"

The doorbell rang again. Yuuko shot up like she sat on a nail, startling Hanako in the process, giving a quick bow and leaving to greet the new customers. The pair of us were left alone. Hanako was staring at me with her one visible eye, although her gaze dropped when I took notice.

"Did you know Yuuko was going to university?" She shook her head "Neither did I" I leaned back in my seat with a sigh "Must be nice, knowing what you're gonna' do with your life"

As much as I wanted to just relax and enjoy Hanako's presence, I really needed to concentrate on my studying. I had to ease my stressed mind a little "Sorry, but I might not talk much. I need to study on this, otherwise I'm going to fail History" I took another sip of my chocolate, stared into the book and tried to get to work.

A few seconds passed before Hanako stopped staring at me and started to lean back in her seat, looking out the window to pass the time.

We stayed like that until the sun started to set. I'm actually surprised she stayed.

* * *

The library was busier than usual. Not sure I liked that. I liked it when it was quiet. Quiet meant peace, which meant thinking. But I suppose there are people like me in the school, panicking and speed reading every note they can get their hands on.

I've been studying more and more these days, which meant I haven't been playing with Hanako as much as I used to. I think she's been studying more now as well. She's not in the library though, which saddened me a little. I liked to see her. Her beanbag seemed so lonely without her sitting in it.

I had been studying for what felt like hours. I was bored, and I wanted to see Hanako, so I left to go find her. Maybe we could play a game or something.

She wasn't in the library, so I checked the tea-room. She wasn't there either, so I checked her room. She was there.

Hanako was sitting at her desk, books laid out in front of her. She was staring out the window. I don't think she heard me open the door.

She looked so calm and at peace. I wish she could look like that more often.

I smiled as I said "Hanako?"

She turned to look at me. Her face seemed like she was only half-there, if that made sense.

"How you doing?" I asked her.

She blinked, as if emerging from a dream, and gasped like she had only just noticed me. Her face turned bright red, her mouth open. She was staring at me. Staring so intently that if I squinted I could just see my reflection in them. Her eyes were beautiful.

I felt heat rush to my face "Uh...Hanako?"

Her mouth moved ever so slightly, but no sound emerged. As if she wanted to say something, but couldn't quite bring herself to say it. I wished I could figure out what she was thinking, but I never could. I wish I could. It just frustrated me that after all this time I've known her, and she still feels like a stranger sometimes.

"K...Kaito..." she finally says.

Eventually we broke eye contact, her faces both the colour scarlet. Awkward silence filled the room. I so desperately wanted to say something, anything, but my mind and mouth just weren't on the same page. Why did this always happen when I actually want to speak?

A confusing flood of emotions filled my mind, I could only figure what a few of them were. Mainly happiness and anger. Happiness because just seeing Hanako made me feel better, and anger because I felt that friends (or whatever we were) shouldn't have this much difficulty talking.

An idea flashed in my mind like a flare. I just hoped it worked "Can I show you something?"

"W...What is it?" she asked, her voice quiet.

I offered her my hand "Just...come with me"

She stared at me, and for a moment I had panicked that she would say no. But finally, she slowly rose from her chair and hesitantly took my hand.

I led her out of the girls dorm and into the boys. I hadn't noticed her blush until we stopped at me door and I had to let go of her hand to get the door open.

"Are you okay?" I asked

She nodded "It's just...this is the boys dorm..."

"And I was just in the girls dorm" I couldn't really see the issue "Several times actually"

She never said anything else, so I led her inside my room.

I waved a hand to my easel "What do you think?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at the painting. "It's...It's me"

It was. Specifically, a painting of her reading in the library on her little beanbag. Her hair framed her face and her eyes shone with the beauty that I saw in them. Her smile was small, but it was her smile: small, peaceful and absolutely adorable. The most difficult part of the painting was the intricate pattern of her scars. The faint discolouration of them was difficult to make. Well, to be honest, all her colours (hair, eyes, scars etc) was quite hard to match. She was truly unique.

Hanako seemed totally captivated by it. Hesitantly, she reached out and ran her finger over the scarred imagery "Was...Was this what you were..."

I nodded "Yes. I meant to give it to you earlier, but I uh, kinda forgot"

"It's beautiful"

I smiled "You're beautiful"

Her hand froze as I told her. Sensing that I may have said a little too much, I decided to move the conversation to its second phase. This was the part that I was really nervous about "There's...There's something else that I...that I wanted to show you"

She looked at me expectantly, her cheeks still a little red from my earlier compliment.

"Don't freak out" I said "I'm just uh, going to take my shirt and that off"

Hanako's jaw dropped and her eyes grew to the size of saucers. I quickly added "Don't freak out! I'm not getting naked or anything I just...I just wanted to show you some things"

Awkwardly, I took off my tie and wriggled out of my shirt as Hanako watched with a look that spoke of both embarassment and curiousity. She didn't make a sound as my shirt hit the floor, not followed long after by my trousers.

I was only in my boxer shorts now. I slowly made my way over to my bed, whereupon I sat down and removed my fake leg.

Taking a breath and sitting up as straight as I could, I looked at Hanako and said "This...is what I wanted to show you. All of this"

Tentatively, Hanako came to me and crouched down so she was eye level with me. Then she placed a hand on one of my scars, the one on my right hand side where the doctors had to cut me open so they could fix my collapsed lung. Another big one that ran up my intact leg so they could put pins in my femur. And they were just the biggest ones. My body was covered with lots of scar tissue, from lacerations caused by hitting rocks and thorns at high speed that never fully healed, to the scar tissue on my stumps.

Her hands were cold, which I decided I liked. Maybe I was just warm, but her cool touch was really nice. Her hand wasn't trembling either, which surprised me.

"This is..." she said "This is everything?"

I slowly nodded "Yep"

"I never knew..." Her voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. Whatever she going to say was never finished. Her hands were really soft.

"You're..." I said "You're the first person to see all this. Apart from the hospital I mean. I haven't shown anyone apart from that"

"But...Why are you showing this to me?"

"Because..." I found the words hard to vocalise "Because I want to change. To feel...better. I figured if I showed you then...then..." I sighed "I dunno'. I just...wanted to show you"

She nodded anyway. She seemed to get that what I was doing was really difficult for me. I had always been self-conscious about my appearance, at least to a degree, even before my accident. The accident though turned my worries about messy hair to the scars. Always the scars.

We stayed like that for a long time, until she pulled her hand away with a quiet gasp. Her face went red and she looked away. Took me a while to realise why...

I was hard. Very hard (fucking hormones).

With a blush of my own I crossed my legs in a vain attempt to hide my manhood. I then settled for just sitting my pillow on my lap.

"Uh..." I spluttered "What I was uh...What I was trying to say was uh...You're not the only one that's scarred"

Hanako chuckled, actually chuckled at that, although she still refused to look at me anymore "Thank you...K-Kaito. I think...I think I understand"

I flashed an awkward smile with a sigh of relief. I wasn't sure how she'd react to me, and I was really afraid that my unintentional reaction to a girls touch had ruined the moment, but it seemed that it had all worked out for the best. Hanako was smiling after all, and she had an amazing smile.

Hanako quickly checked her watch "Um...Kaito? I need to uh..."

I nodded "I get it. Goodnight Hanako"

"G-Goodnight" she smiled back. Then she left, closing the door behind her.

With myself already stripped down, I just laid down on my bed and drifted off to sleep. Or at least I would have, if my thoughts would settle. I kept thinking about Hanako. About how her touch felt on my body, about how nice it felt, how my body reacted to it and aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh!

I think I need another cold shower before I sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**"The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of that relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together"** \- Barbara De Angelis

* * *

Why? Why oh why did I think this was a good idea?

I was in the city. I hated the city and yet I was there. It was warm, uncomfortably so. I wiped my brow with the back of my hand, but it didn't really help.

I was trying to change, so my mind (naturally) came to the conclusion that I would have to do stuff that I wouldn't normally do, like visit the city. So I decided to go shopping.

I was regretting this. It was too warm, too crowded and I hadn't even seen something worth buying.

My thoughts were disrupted by the sound of my ringtone. Taking my phone from my pocket I was confused by the sight of a number I did not recognise.

Hitting answer, I spoke my default phone greeting "Hello. Smith Kaito speaking"

I could hear the sound of breathing, but not much else "...Hello? Who is this?" I asked

"K...Kaito?" It was Hanako!

"Hanako? Is that you?"

"Yes"

I broke out into a stupidly large smile "Hey! Hi, uh...How are you? What's up?"

"U-Um...I...um..." Hanako stuttered "If...If you're not busy...I-I was wondering if y-you would...l-like to...m-"

"Meet up?" I guessed

"Yes!" she said loudly, before taking a moment to rein in her voice again "U-Um...I mean..."

"Where you wanna' meet?" I asked "School? Shanghai?"

"I-I'm in...the city..."

Well that was a surprise. I wouldn't have expected her to go alone. Then again I was in the city too, so I guess I couldn't talk "Me too. Where are you?"

Hanako managed to give me the street and basic directions, so it wasn't long before I found her. She was at a quiet little café. Sitting outside, as well. I never expecting that level of confidence from her, to calmly sit at a table in the view of pedestrians. Maybe this was what Lilly was talking about when she meant Hanako would grow without me.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked me as I sat down. I must have looked a bit red in the face.

"Yeah" I answered, smiling to prove it "Just a bit warm. Fake legs are tiring"

She nodded as if she understood. She was in the same casual stuff she wore on that night out we all had. She looked nice.

Hanako caught me staring, and looked down at the table. Then, along came a waitress with a cup of tea. Hanako almost automatically turned her head away slightly, just enough to hide her scars. The waitress still saw it though, although her eyes fell on the scarring on the back of Hanako's hand.

The young woman's eyes flickered to me, whereupon she greeted me with a practiced smile "Hiya, you wanting something?"

"Um..." I quickly looked at the menu "Mango smoothie?" It was the first thing I saw.

The waitress nodded, took note and almost bounced back inside. Was everyone in the city that hyper?

Hanako looked back up, adjusting her hat a little as she said "N-No hot chocolate...?"

"Uh..." I scratched the back of my head "It was the first thing I saw" I chuckled a little at my admittance "Besides, I need something cooler. Too warm for hot chocolate"

She nodded as she took a sip of her tea, silently drinking while I waited on my smoothie.

My smoothie came pretty quickly if I was honest. Handing the bouncing waitress some money, she left to go answer another customer's call. Why did she seem to skip everywhere?

"Do..." Hanako spoke up "Do you think that she looks...pretty...?"

What? Oh. "I...guess" I shrugged "I was more wondering how someone could be so hyper and bouncy"

Hanako seemed to process my response before asking another question "Did you have many...friends, before Yamaku?"

I thought about "Nah. There was a whole bunch of people that I used to talk to, but there was only really one, no, two people that I really considered friends"

"Do you still talk to them?"

I sadly shook my head "No. I was in hospital for a long time. We grew apart"

"You're not...saddened by that?" she asked me "Or angry?"

"Angry, no. Sad...maybe just a little" I admitted "They had lives to live. They moved on when I wasn't there. I don't blame them for that. I wasn't...great after it all. I still think about them, when I can. Sometimes the memories just...flash back in my head for a bit, then go. They make me sad, but I remember them being happy times as well, so it's not all bad I guess" I took a drink of my smoothie (turns out I liked mango) "Besides," I smiled "I made new friends when I came here, right?"

Hanako blushed a little as we continued to drink in silence, just enjoying each others company. She seemed to grow calmer and calmer the longer we sat together. She was still fiddling with her hair a little.

"How did you get my number?" I asked her

"L-Lilly...gave it...to me"

While I was silently wondering how Lilly knew my number, Hanako brought out her own phone (it was just like mine, only pink) "W...Would you l-like my-"

"Phone number? I got it when you called me"

She shook her head "No...E-Email address?"

Ah, right. I nodded my head, bringing out my own phone so I could give her mine in return "I like your phone. It's like mine"

Hanako smiled at that "Thank you. I didn't pick it out myself though"

"Huh?"

"It was a present, from Lilly"

I nodded. That made sense.

"I never really needed a phone, and I couldn't afford one" she continued "She bought me one for Christmas, though, saying that we should use it to keep in touch"

That confused me a little, considering that they saw each other everyday. Then again, she was away now. I guess she was just planning in advance (very clever).

"You like Lilly, don't you?"

She nodded "She's my friend. I...love her...very much" Hanako smiled as she thought about her. I wish I had a friend that I cared that much about. Of course, there was Hanako, but a part of my mind didn't really call her a friend any more. She was...more, I think, than that.

There was a brief exchange of email addresses, and then I properly added Hanako to my contact list.

"Done" Hanako smiled "That makes three now"

"Three?"

"Lilly, Akira and you" she explained

Oh, she was talking about phone numbers "Oh right. I have...five now" I smiled a bit to know that Hanako had more friends than just me and Lilly "You have Akira's number? She's nice, isn't she?"

"She is. Her suit makes her...look a bit cool"

"I thought her job would mean she didn't talk to people a lot" I wondered aloud.

Hanako smiled a little as she took another sip of her tea "She always tries, though" She looked at me again "You have...five, you said?"

"Yeah" I didn't really want to say that two were my parents. I didn't want to somehow remind her that she was an orphan. "How many do you think Lilly has?"

"More than all of us combined" she joked with a giggle. It was nice to hear her laugh. It was nice to hear her be that comfortable around me. Days like this, I almost felt like I knew the real Hanako and not just the walls she puts up.

"You don't talk to a lot of people" I noted "Do you?"

Hanako shook her head.

"You never want to make more?" I never really cared for a large circle of friends myself, but I knew that some people did care about stuff like that.

"...No" Was her answer "I don't really...like people" She seemed to take me tilting my head as a request for her to explain "In middle school, I got bullied...a lot. I was called names, and got excluded from work groups and sports teams. There were...worse things, too"

I nodded in understanding. I wasn't exactly popular in school either as a result of my Caucasian looks. It wasn't the same as burn scars, but it was something "And now you don't like people. I get it"

Hanako shook her head "I...That happened in...elementary school"

I felt bad for making her sad. As I sat there, staring at her phone, an idea formed in my head. Finishing my smoothie, I got out of my seat "I'll be back" I told her "Wait here"

"W-What? W-Where are you g-going?"

"Just wait! I'll be back, I swear!"

I ran for a bit as I came to a shop I had passed on the way to the café. It was full of gimmicky trinkets so I hadn't felt the desire to go in. But now I did. I quickly bought what I wanted and ran back. I dropped the small bag on the table in front of her.

Hanako stared at the little bag "Is this...?"

"For you" I nodded with a smile "Want to see?"

Hanako looked unsure "B-But..."

"Come on" I insisted

So eventually, she did give in and opened up the small gift. It was a little silver chain to decorate her phone, with a little flower on the end. Her eyes lit up when she saw it. She wasn't sad any more. She put the little chain back on the table and looked up at me, confused "But...it's not...Christmas, or my birthday..."

I shook my head "Doesn't matter. I saw it, I thought you'd might like it, so I got it"

She smiled at the chain again, but still look unsure "I-I don't have anything to give to you..."

I shrugged. I didn't want anything in return "You're smiling. That's enough"

She smiled at that, maybe with a bit more colour in her face though.

"Besides," I continued "You're my...friend" I guess it was easier to call her "friend" as opposed to "person-that-I-like-like-but-is-too-scared-to-admit-it-etc.-etc." (too much of a mouthful) "Friends can give each other random presents sometimes"

"Friends..." she smiled. She eventually nodded, taking the chain and attaching it to her phone "Thank you...Kaito"

Her smile was beautiful. I found myself smiling back "You're welcome"

I gazed up at the sky, the sun was starting hide to behind the buildings, which reminded me "Won't be long before we have to get back to school" I rose to my feet "You coming?"

"Y-Yes" She nodded, putting her phone away as we left for the bus station together. We didn't talk, and Hanako never really looked at me, but she had a smile, so I was happy.

* * *

Hanako wasn't in her seat when I turned up to class. Hisao, Shizune and Misha were there though. I said hi, got to my seat and got to thinking.

Hanako had been on my mind a lot since our talk in the city. I'll admit that wasn't much of a change but it was now more and more prominent. I wasn't sure how I was meant to describe our relationship now. I liked her, I wanted to help her. I felt deeply for her, more than I felt for any other friend. On the other hand, I felt like I barely knew her at times. If I were to suddenly grow a spine and admit my feelings somehow, how would she take it? Would she be disgusted? Would she brush it off with the "better than friends argument"? Or would she say yes, and what would I do after that? On the other hand, I may be completely wrong about the signals I was getting off of her. I wasn't very good with people after all so it was very likely I misinterpreted something.

I lifted my head to the sound of footsteps coming into class. It was Miki. Not long after came Hanako.

I may have stared at Hanako as she came in. Our eyes met, but no words where said, and she went to her seat.

* * *

I spend more time in the library now than I do in my room. I was trying to study, but was finding my book incredibly dull. Studying never came easily to me.

I had spent lunch that day with Hanako. We had eaten in silence so I was never able to pop my question. It was frustrating, wanting to be closer to someone who just kept pushing you away.

"A-Are you busy...?" came a voice. It was Hanako

"Hanako?" I admittedly exclaimed pretty loud. She had surprised me. She backed up a little as I spun to look at her "Sorry" I said sheepishly "That was loud. You spooked me" I closed my book over so as to give her my full attention "What's up?"

Hanako still seemed a little shaken by my reaction earlier, she said "I was just...w-wondering what you were r-reading..."

I put the book away on the nearest shelf "Chemistry" I answered

"H-Has it helped?"

I shrugged "It confirmed I didn't like chemistry, but other than that...nope"

Hanako smiled a little, which made me feel better. She didn't seem so put off anymore. Looking at her, I couldn't help but think about her, or precisely what I didn't know about her.

"I-Is something...wrong?" she asked me. I guess I was making a face.

I looked at her. Finding no gentle way to ask the question, I decided to be blunt. All this time I was afraid I'd upset her, but maybe Lilly was on to something when she suggested change. Maybe Hanako had changed as well "Can I ask something?"

"O-Okay"

I took a deep breath before voicing the question "What...What was your life like, before this? Before Yamaku?"

There was a long pause. I was afraid I had upset her and was about to apologise when she nodded (a slow stiff nod) and spoke "Okay. B-But in return...you have to t-tell me about your life as well..."

I nodded an "Okay" and followed her to leave the library so we could speak somewhere private. This turned out to be the hallway.

"You uh, want me to start?" I asked. She nodded, so with a sigh I started "I lived with my parents before coming here. I was in the hospital for a year or so, I spent my education there. The doctors said that I had stayed in the hospital long enough, that I had to go back out and get back into the world, to be normal again. They and my parents thought that Yamaku would be best for me, since they had all their fancy helper stuff. It was the first time I stayed somewhere without parents checking in"

"It must have...been hard on you" Hanako noted.

"Well...yeah" I shrugged "I'd never been far from my parents. I uh..." I chuckled a little awkwardly "I kind of always relied on them, even before my accident. I was uh, not very independent" There was silence as I finished "What uh, what about you?"

Hanako was silent as a group of other students passed us. She hid behind me, her body pressed almost flat against mine. When they were gone, she edged away back to the normal distance "The staff at the o-orphanage offered me some options on what I could do. Middle school...hadn't been good, so I though Yamaku might be better. It was isolated, and I thought it might be easier to get by here with most of the others being disabled"

"What was it like, in the orphanage?" I asked

Hanako seemed to think about her response "It was...okay. The staff there were nice, and they took care of us. The children there didn't talk to me much, but I didn't really want to talk with them either, so I didn't mind. The orphanage had a little library, so I started to read to pass the time. The staff didn't mind it, because it made me easier to handle than many of the other children"

Ah, the small cynical part of me figured that the staff enjoyed a quiet child. They likely encouraged her worst habits to ensure easy days. While I sympathised, I was left wondering if they would regret what that kind of work ethic had on the girl "No friends?" I asked.

"No" she shook her head "I think...my life was on hold...during that time. I knew that, but I didn't mind"

To think her life was on hold for all that time. Nearly her whole life without parents, friends or even distant relatives. I couldn't imagine a life like that. I always had my parents. My friends, though few, were always close. I had so many relatives on both my parents' sides that I couldn't even remember all their names, even on a good day.

We walked our way across the courtyard, the sun now starting to set.

"What was it like in the hospital?" Hanako asked me.

"Quiet" I admitted "My friends came to visit for the first few months after I woke up. But...it's like I said. They had lives to live, and I wasn't always the best company. My head was hazy, I had mood swings, I..." I shut myself up "So they showed up less and less and then...that was it. They were gone. Then it was bad for a long time. There was my parents telling me I wouldn't be going back to my old school and there was the time I had my birthday in the hospital, that was...lonely"

We were walking through the gardens now. There was the odd bystander that passed, but otherwise we were alone "It got better of course, I guess" I continued "After a while, physical therapy started up and I had something to do, a routine, something to look forward to"

"What was your middle school like?"

"It was nice" I smiled, happy memories coming to me as I spoke "It was a crowded school, but not too bad I guess. My friends kept me company. We would laugh, fool around, sometimes cry together if we really needed to. My grades were never the best, but they were good. There was always the odd idiot that made fun of my parentage and looks, but they grew less and less as I grew up and got bigger than everyone" It felt a bit weird to talk about my past. A part of me looked back on it as the life of another guy, someone that wasn't disabled, wasn't separated from his family. But I knew, deep down, that my past would stay with me and that it was mine.

As we went into the girls dorm, Hanako clung to me again. It was different though this time. It was less of a hold-on-for-dear-life-death-grip and more of a gentler hold, like the way I was taught to hold someone's hand, or my cat.

I walked with her to her room. "Why are we here?" I asked her. I hadn't really been planning on going anywhere so I was more or less just following Hanako around. She didn't respond though, rather just staring at me "Hanako?"

She didn't speak. Rather she went inside her room, leaving the door open. I followed her inside.

She spoke before I did "Could you...close and lock the door?"

I did as she asked, turning back to find her drawing the curtains. What was she up to? It would be night soon. I had to get back to my room. Why would she have me lock the door?

Hanako continued to stand by the curtains, her back faced towards me "You told me about your past, so I have to tell you mine" she said. She removed her ribbon and started to unbutton her blouse.

"Wait" I said. Hanako was going to strip, like I did. I wasn't ready for something like that, at least I didn't think I was. I wasn't sure how I'd react. My body was already reacting to the mere thought of her naked. "H-Hanako..."

"P-Please..." she said "Don't say anything"

So I stayed silent as she shed her blouse, followed soon after by her bra. Everything was happening so slowly, or maybe that was just my mind playing tricks. I kept staring as Hanako removed her skirt, letting it drop to the floor.

And so there she stood. Bare save for only her underwear and stockings "This is me" she said "All of me"

Naturally, my eyes immediately fell on the scars on her back. On the right hand side her skin was scarred like her face, tightened discoloured tissue that covered her shoulder, buttock and thigh. This was it. Just like my life had been forever changed by my accident, so was Hanako's. A part of me was shocked that such injuries could be survived, but then again I had also defied death as well. What a pair we made.

"The fire happened when I was eight years old" she told me "It was night, and we were sleeping when it started" Her voice trembled alongside her body "I...curled up into a ball...when the fire swept over me. My mother...tried to shield me. Th-That's the only reason...I lived..." Tears began to fall from her beautiful eyes as her memories surfaced.

So her parents did die in the fire. My heart was warmed by the idea of a mother so devoted to her child that she would give her life for them. But then a horrible thought set in: Hanako's mother shielded her from fire. Hanako witnessed her mother burn to death. Witnessed her likely scream and cry as she was cooked alive. The idea of watching my own mother suffer such a fate...I rubbed my eyes to try and banish the thought.

I wanted to say something, anything, to make her feel better. I couldn't though. My own mind and mouth would not work together. I felt so close to her, yet so distant at the same time.

"I'm sorry..." she said, her voice trembling with tears "For making you see this"

"No" I whispered, before repeating it with a stronger voice "No". I had to say it now. There would be no other better time. We were both at our most vulnerable, our closest. I had to say what I truly, honestly, believed "Never be sorry" I said "Not for this. You're beautiful, Hanako. I think you're beautiful, no matter what you may think"

She just stared at me, her breathing heavy and uneven. I went to her and put a hand on her shoulder, her scarred shoulder. She turned to properly face me, her front now bare to me. She gasped, not in fear, but surprise.

It was strange, to feel her skin under my hand. The scar tissue was dry and leathery to touch. My hand lifted and ran its fingers through silken hair and rested on her cheek, the unblemished skin softer to the touch.

Hanako was beautiful, regardless of her scars. Her face and eyes were entrancing to look at and her body alluringly curved. Her chest was large enough that I noticed, but not cartoonishly big in that way that it looked anatomically impossible.

"I know...that I'm not pretty...like Lilly" she said, her head drooped with her gaze on the floor "I just...wanted you...to see me. The real me"

I shook my head and sighed. How could I make it any more plain? I wished I could find the words to describe how I felt about her. She was beautiful. It was that obvious to me. I gently placed my hand underneath her chin, so I could tilt her gaze to meet mine "I already have. You may not believe me, but you are pretty. You are amazing. Beautiful. You didn't have to take your clothes off to make me see that"

She looked at me, her eyes glistening and uncertain and lips parted. My feelings were a jumble of emotions and warm, physical sensations that baffled my admittedly childish mind. Without knowing why, I pressed my lips against hers, Hanako rising on her toes to meet me halfway.

The kiss only lasted for the briefest moment, but it was my first. The sensation of her lips on mine sent a fire of powerful feelings throughout my body and mind, like I had been struck by lightning. We parted, both breathless, neither breaking line of sight.

My hormones taking over, I found myself taking off my own clothing. Hanako didn't look at me, rather choosing to stare at the floor.

Soon I was only standing in my boxer shorts, both our scarred bodies bare to each other, both of us vulnerable.

"H..." I internally cursed the awkwardness in my voice "Hanako..."

The pair of us walked to the bed, our movements stiff and nervous. I was the first to sit, looking up at her with a look I could only hope looked charming and inviting. I must have done something right, because she decided to sit between my legs, her bare back against my chest. A rush of sensations overwhelmed me, mainly the feeling of a female rear against my groin. She smelled great as well. She was a little sweaty, but her hair still smelled of some kind of shampoo and it was soft and silky under my chin.

I tried to keep a smile on my face as I tried to make her comfortable. My stump arm awkwardly rested against her side while my hand moved to cup her breast. The sound of her breath hitched slightly as she tried to stifle a squeal of surprise.

"Sorry" I mumbled, my voice barely louder than a whisper "Didn't mean to uh...make you startled" I waited for Hanako's breath to settle a little before gently rubbing her nipple with my thumb, while also massaging the breast itself. It felt nice in my hand. It didn't take long before her body began to relax into mine, her breathing slowing at the same time. The feeling of her nipple hardening from my touch was strange, but I took it as a sign that I was doing something right.

Eventually my hand left her breast, making Hanako whine a little in the process, and slowly ran down her body till I reached her crotch, massaging her womanhood in slow circles with my fingertips. Her body was firmly pressed into mine by this point, her full weight sinking into me, her warmth relaxing and arousing me. She gasped a little as my fingers stopped rubbing her in circles and changed to a more digging motion, my fingers curling into the groove of her labia. My motions grew faster and faster as my instinctive want grew in intensity. I wanted her. All of her.

I stopped moving my fingers, Hanako sighing as her hips unconsciously gyrated to try and meet my fingers. Her face looked to mine a little. Her look silent, but her eyes looked as if she was waiting for something.

Shuffling away from her, Hanako slid on to her back, laying her head against the pillow, her breathing coming in ragged pants.

Her panties were slightly darkened by her own sweat and other fluids, her chest was heaving and her eyes just stared into mine with longing. I had no words to describe the euphoria I felt.

I laid a hand on her crotch and looked at her expectantly. At her nod I started the laborious task of removing her stockings with only a single hand. Hanako must have grown impatient as she took the matter into her own hands, taking the stockings off just far enough that I could move her underwear. Rather than attempting to remove them completely, I simply decided to move the crotch to the side so that her vagina was accessible.

Gently brushing my fingers against her, my hand moved to my own clothing. Rather than rising to properly remove them, I merely unbuttoned the front of my boxers, my erection now free from its confines.

Her body tensed as I approached her. I eyes widened a little at the sight of my manhood. Was I scaring her? I couldn't imagine I was that big?

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

She did not verbally respond, rather gulping and nodding her head.

I laid my hand on her leg, massaging the thigh softly as I spoke "It's okay if you're not" I told her "Just tell me when, and I'll stop" I wouldn't be altogether happy if I was stopped, but I'd stop regardless if it was what she wanted.

She nodded again, her body a little more relaxed, as I leaned down and kissed her again. I felt her tongue in my mouth that time; a peculiar but pleasant sensation. As I sat up again, I gently drew Hanako as close to me as possible and, with a trembling hand, guided myself inside her.

"Aahn!" Hanako yelped as I thrust for the first time. I had to take a moment just to process the rush of pleasure and other sensations that momentarily short-circuited my brain.

Taking note of the pained grimace on the girls face, my second motion was as slow and as gentle as I could manage. I was still just as much of a novice at sex as she was, so neither really what each other were capable of withstanding, pleasure or pain-wise. I didn't want to hurt her. Hanako opened her eyes and, upon seeing my face, attempted to smile. Sadly, she couldn't really hide her discomfort.

She didn't tell me to stop though, so after a few moments I started again, my ministrations as careful as I could manage under the circumstances.

I won't deny it, we probably looked pretty awkward. My hips weren't used to movements like thrusting, so my movements, while gentle, were stiff and awkward. Not to mention the feeling inside Hanako was so warm and soft that I had to constantly remind myself to keep the motions constant and regular. Hanako's gasps and her own gyrating hips just added several other layers of overwhelming pleasure.

Hanako's hair was beginning to cling to her face from the sweat, and her face still appeared to be in pain. Her scarred body appeared to be making her stiff. Unsure what to do, I tried to scoop her body up with my arm which only resulted in a bit of squirming on both our parts.

We eventually did settle on a position that left us both satisfied. I sat up while Hanako straddled my lap. With the stress off her scarred back, Hanako started to relax as my hips began to move again. I held her against me as she began roll her hips with my movements, her breathing escaping in quiet moans. The scent of her filled my senses as my breathing became more and more erratic.

As we continued, our movements became less measured as we started to lose ourselves to each other, our bodies hungering for more. I sped up as I was filled with wave upon wave of pleasure, no longer caring for restraint (which I don't think Hanako was caring about any more either).

"Ha..." I grunted as I tried to say her name "Hana...Hanako!"

She reached her climax just before I did. Her shriek seemed to ring out and the muscles of her netherregions seemed to clench around me, bringing me to my own climax with a final powerful thrust. I could feel my penis twitch within her as released myself with my own ragged sigh of an orgasm.

Energy spent, I lay back as Hanako fell on top of me, her own exhausted body not even having the energy to remove herself from my manhood. I could hear her panted breaths in her ear as we lay there, our naked sweaty bodies pressed against each other. With herculean effort, I managed to roll Hanako off of me. Now she lay beside me, our bodies pressed close together so that we could share the single bed, nestled in my intact arm.

I couldn't say whether or not our first time went well, but I could say that I enjoyed myself. I looked at Hanako, her face a clouded mask of dazed euphoria and fading discomfort. I suppose I probably enjoyed myself the most out of the two of us. Nevertheless, when our eyes met she smiled at me, and that was a genuine smile. The perfect Hanako smile that made me warm to the very core.

With a tired arm, I drew her in close for a kiss. "Good...Goodnight, Hanako" I panted.

Hanako never responded, rather deciding to curl into me, her head resting in the crook of my neck with a pleased sigh.

I sighed as well. I suppose in times like these, words weren't truly needed.

I fell asleep quickly that night, content with the warm, beautiful girl at my side.

* * *

 **Authors Note**

Well, that happened.

This is the first time I've written anything remotely close to smut/sex/whatever so forgive me if it's trash.

See you guys later, I'm off to take a cold shower


	20. Chapter 20

**"We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness - and call it love - true love"** \- Robert Fulghum

* * *

I woke up, and for the briefest moment, I could not remember where I was. I did not recognise the ceiling above my head.

I tried to think, but my entire body and brain felt like I had been lifting weights all night.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. My friends are Hanako, Hisao and Lilly. I have feelings for Hanako. I was going to plan for the future. I had...

Oh shit. I had sex with Hanako.

I looked to my side, where the vague memory of Hanako sleeping was. The bed was empty apart from me. I was the only one in the room.

Shrugging off the fatigue with a yawn, I dragged myself to a sitting position, my legs dangling from the side (I hadn't taken off my fake leg. I had the feeling that was a thing I shouldn't have done). I looked for my clothes, finding them on the floor where I left them. Hanako's were gone, so she must have really left.

Slowly, I got dressed. Not really sure what to do with myself until the school day started, I decided to just sit down with my thoughts. I was left wondering where Hanako had gone. My stomach gave me the answer though. It was morning, she was probably hungry.

I was just about to go get breakfast myself when Hanako came back inside. She was holding a pair of instant meals, so she was slow in entering.

"Hi" I greeted her

"M...Morning" she gave a little bow before putting the plates down on her desk. They were two little satay dishes, each with a fork.

"For me?" I asked her. She nodded and we both got to eating. She let me sit at her desk as I couldn't hold the plate and eat at the same time, while she sat on the side of the bed.

We ate in silence, which wasn't bad. What was bad were the awkward looks we kept giving each other when we thought the other wasn't looking.

We were eating together. We had sex last night. Did that make us a couple? I kept feeling as if we should have talked about it, but we didn't.

We didn't talk as we ate. We didn't talk as we cleaned our dishes. We didn't talk as we walked to class. Were we meant to hold hands? Because we didn't do that either.

We entered class together, which got us a couple of funny looks. Hisao and Shizune shared a look. Misha had a massive cat-grin.

Hanako and I met eyes for the first time since we left her room "S-See you" I stuttered

"Okay" Hanako said automatically

I quickly made my way to my seat, Hanako doing the same. My face felt warm as I sat down. I was still confused about that morning and what happened.

Hisao leaned over to ask me something, but Mutou came in at that moment and class quickly started. I never thought I'd be glad for the presence of a teacher. I had no doubts that Hisao was wanting to ask me about what was going on between me and Hanako. He hadn't been around much due to his studying, but I think he could see something was going on. Shizune would probably ask something similar.

I didn't know how I felt about Hanako. No, that was a lie. I liked her, a lot, but what I didn't know was how Hanako felt about me. She never said anything about liking me beyond that of a friend, and yet we had sex. We slept together.

I was still thinking about it when the bell rang.

Unable to take it any more, I got to my feet and turned to look at Hanako's chair. She was still. She blushed and dropped her gaze as I approached.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. What was I meant to say? I hadn't actually thought about that.

Hisao made his way over to us as we continued to just stare at each other. Shizune and Misha were looking at us too, sharing sign-words as if they were talking about us. I saw several others in the class sharing looks. Were they talking about us too?

"I..." Hanako spoke "I..." She sprung out of her seat "Ivegottogodosomething!" Then she ran out of the classroom, knocking a few books and pens to the floor in her haste.

A few people stopped staring after that, going back to other conversation as if Hanako running away was a common occurrence (which I guess it was).

I kept looking at the door, contemplating whether or not to give chase. But then again, I knew she could run faster than I could. I'd never catch up to her now. I still had no idea what I was meant to say to her anyway.

With nothing else to do, I knelt down to pick up what had been knocked down by Hanako's sprint. Hisao knelt down to help me "What happened, man?" he asked me.

I shrugged helplessly "I don't know...I just..." I sighed "I just don't know"

I felt something tap my shoulder. I looked up to see Misha and Shizune looking down on us, their faces a mix of curiousity and apology.

Shizune sighed something "Kaito...if there's anything we can do..."

I just shook my head. They couldn't help. No one could. What was going on was just between me and Hanako. Misha and Shizune shared a defeated look, I got the impression they knew that. They bowed and left me alone.

Hisao put a hand on my shoulder as we put all of Hanako's stuff back o her desk "You can fix this" he told me

"How?" I asked

He merely shrugged "Hanako's a friend, but I barely know her. I think you'll know what to do when it comes down to it" And with that he left, and I was left alone as the sole person in the classroom. I was left alone to think.

I liked Hanako, but I barely knew her on a deep emotional...thing. I didn't know how she saw everything. I've tried to change, because I thought would make things better and I could be a better friend to Hanako, but we seemed to be farther apart than ever.

I didn't know what to do, and I didn't know anyone who could help me with it.

Whatever I had with Hanako...that was never coming back. We had sex. We have changed, and I had no idea what I to do, what I could do with that information. I wanted to at least save our friendship, but I didn't even know if that was possible.

The classroom was silent as I thought away, the only sound being the faint ticking of the clock. That silence was swiftly shattered by my fist hitting the desk. I wasn't angry though, I was just determined. I knew what I had to do.

I had to talk to Hanako, and I knew how.

* * *

I was in the park, sitting on a bench under the trees. My phone was in my hand. I had just sent Hanako a text.

 _I'm in the park, if you want to talk_

I decided that if I went looking for Hanako, she'd only run away again. So I decided to give her the option to come to me.

I felt anxious as I waited. My leg was bouncing up and down like a jackhammer. I had bought some apple juice to try and calm myself, but it seemed to only to taste bitter in my mouth and I crushed the can in my hand.

Being nervous was natural though. Hanako was dear to me. I didn't want to lose her, to lose everything we had done together over one stupid (if absolutely amazing) night.

Then again, what had we done? We had sex, but I still didn't really know a lot about her. I probably knew more about her than most, but that wasn't saying much. I wasn't even sure if she'd show up.

"K...Kaito?" Spoke too soon.

I stood as I turned to look at her "Hanako..." I said, but found myself unable to say more.

We stared at each other for a bit before Hanako blushed and broke eye contact, fidlding with her hair.

"Hanako..." I knew I had to something, to break through the wall between, so I kept trying "Hanako, I...What...What are we? What we did...What did it mean?"

She stopped playing with her hair and looked at me again "I thought...you might eventually go away if I was only someone you needed to protect. I thought that if I let you do that...you might see me as someone more than that"

Wait. "Let me"? Did that mean she didn't actually want sex? I was suddenly very worried. "Did that mean you..." I had to choke the words our "...That you didn't want it. Did I...Did I...?" I couldn't stand the idea that I might have taken her against her wishes, that thought made me feel a little sick inside. I couldn't bring myself to finish asking the question.

"I knew..." Hanako spoke "I knew you couldn't look at me that way..."

"What way?" I asked

"All I ever was to you was...a useless person. Just someone...to prtoect. Someone like...a child. I-I wanted to be more to you than that, but after so long...I...got used to it" her voice sounded disgusted, but I couldn't tell who was digusted with.

"After I came out of my room..." she continued "I saw that you had started had started drifting away. I felt like I was going to lose you, because...you wanted somebody you could have...that kind of realtionship with. You were more quiet in school than before, and you were getting on so well with Yuuko...I thought...that I might lose you"

I shook my head sadly, my feelings so mixed up I was sure there were tears forming. She thought I was bored of her, because I wanted a romantic relationship? "You..." I whispered "You're my friend. I'd never give up on you"

Hanako looked defeated as she admitted "Friendship...was something I thought I'd given up on. I stopped believing in others...after what happened after the accident..." she took a shaky breath, tears forming in her eyes "Before the accident happened, I got on well with people and other children. I didn't have many friends...but I didn't mind, because I treasured the ones that I had. Afterwards, though...I was called names by the others, and teased a lot. It hurt...really deeply. The teachers tried to help, but they couldn't do much, and even many of them recolied just at the sight of me. Among those calling me names and teasing me...were the ones I thought were closest friends"

She paused as she wiped some tears away with her sleeve "From then on, I believed that it didn't matter if nobody else acknowledged me. All my existence ever did was make people troubled after all. It was...easier...if I just didn't exist" She finally looked me in the eye again "But after meeting Lilly, and then you...I tried, but I...couldn't make myself think that way again"

I couldn't wrap my head around what she was saying. I understood being wary of others, but to expect me to just so...so callously throw her away once I got bored with her. It seemed too heartless to be human. I guess I really never understood the pain that Hanako felt. I felt like a idiot (more than usual anyway).

It hurt. Out of all the people I wanted to be close friends with, to trust and to care for, it was her.

"I...I never want to hurt you" I said "Never. Why didn't you say..."

"Was...Was I wrong?"

"Yes! Wait...no, I..." I took a breath, I felt that I had to talk "I wanted to help you, the same way I'd like to help anyone, if I could. But I couldn't, because I thought of you as broken, when I wasn't any better"

Hanako was looking at me a bit more intently now. No turning back "When you locked yourself away, I got scared. I thought you were breaking down. I thought...I wanted to help you, to make you better. But...I couldn't. I thought...I thought you were locking me out. Re-Rejecting me"

"I wasn't rejecting you!" she blurted out, before reining in her voice again to a whisper "I wouldn't ever to that. Not to you. Even though I was scared...even though I tried to push you away...you still tried to get closer to me. I locked myself away because...I was just a burden to you. To Lilly. To everyone"

She seemed to be on a roll now, her voice gaining confidence once more "E-Every birthday was the same. Everyone doing their best to pretend that I mattered. Everyone pretending everything was all right...for that one day of the year. I didn't want to exist, but they wouldn't let me. Even after meeting Lilly...everything was the same. I was as useless as I'd always been, unable to do anything for her, or for myself. I didn't want to be the same way...to you"

We had it all wrong. I was wrong.

Everything we did only made her feel worse. Even the little things I thought I had right about her were wrong.

"Hanako I...After you locked yourself up, I tried to make myself better. I thought that, maybe, we'd be closer if I changed...got better at things. I wanted to help, but to do that I had to...I needed to help myself first"

There was silence as our words hung in the air. Hanako took a deep breath, then swiftly sank to her knees in tears. To see her that upset broke my heart, because I felt responsible for it. I wanted to help her, to make her feel better, but I didn't know how, and I doubted I would ever be able to do such a thing. Shame filled me as I could only watch Hanako cry her eyes out, my own eyes streaming tears as well.

I crouched down and wrapped my arms around her. I didn't care how we must have looked. I didn't care that I could only really hold her with one hand. I just wanted to hold her, be near her.

"I'm sorry, Kaito" she sobbed "I-I've messed up everything..."

"No," I shook my head "I'm sorry. I should have said something. You never messed up a thing" I knew I should have talked to her more often, but I couldn't. That was why I was trying to improve.

My eyes felt blurry as the tears fell "I was...scared. I was scared that I would lose you" I admitted "I never had many friends. I...I care a lot about them a-and I didn't want to lose you. I...I needed you"

"But I'm just a useless-"

"No you're not!" I cut her off. I refused to hear her lies again. She was only deluding herself "You're my friend, Hanako! You...You..."

I had to say it. There would be no other opportunity "You mean a lot to me, Hanako. I...I think...I luh...I love you. I love you, and the idea that I might have lost you scared me so much..." I wasn't really sure what I was doing, aprt from baring my soul as messily as I could.

"I'm sorry, Kaito" Hanako voice was shaky, but it seemed a little less upset. "I can't help...feeling a bit happy. For so long...that's what I've wanted...to hear..."

Her tears still fell, but she wasn't sobbing any more. I was the same, holding on to her, sharing her grief and her happiness. I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but at moment I didn't care. I just wanted to hold her a little longer, just until she stopped crying (and maybe a little longer).

Time passed as our eyes dried and her bodies stopped trembling. A few hankerchiefs later we looked at least somewhat better. We couldn't really hide bloodshot eyes after all.

"Feel any better?" I asked her.

"Y-Yes" she nodded with a weak smile "Thank you"

We sat there on the bench talking for a while, rebuilding ourselves with conversation.

"The weather is nice at this time of year" Hanako noted. Talk about the basic topics.

"Yeah" I smiled "It is" I closed my eyes, enjoying the sensation of sunlight on my face "Do you want to stay a little longer?" I asked.

Hanako nodded with a smile. It was weird. You'd think a smile was a completely natural thing, something you'd seen so often that the novelty would have worn off by the time you'd learn to tie your shoelaces. Not Hanako's smile. Not to me. Hanako smiled so rarely and so sincerely that I could not help but feel better in its presence. I felt priveliged to see it, to be trusted with such a sight.

"I'm sorry" she said "For...everything"

I nodded "Honestly, it's okay. We were both kind of at fault I think"

"I know that...I'm too shy. I know yoy don't want me to be, I don't think I can..."

"I think you can" I assured her "I know you can. You've already changed after all, since we met for the first time. I mean, look at us. We're outside, broad daylight, having a conversation" Slowly, I took her hand in mine "You've already changed, Hanako. You will keep changing. It won't all be at once, and that's okay"

"But I can't be like that for everyone" Hanako protested softly "I don't know how. I don't have any plans for after school..."

"Neither do I" I admitted "Give it time, you'll figure it out. We both will. I know we will. I know you've been trying, and I have faith in you. And if you need someone...anyone for support or anythin, I'll be there. Promise"

"B-But I can't ask that of you..."

"You can. I'll probably ask you for help from time to time after all, so it seems only fair we help each other out. I think that how these things, these relationships, work. I think this is what love is"

Hanako smiled as we got to our feet "You want to get something to eat?" I asked her "I'm kind of hungry"

She smiled again as she nodded. I think she was happy, as in truly, genuinely happy. It was a subtle thing, the twinkle in her eye, the glow from her cheeks. It felt as if I was seeing her for the first time.

"Hisao?" Hanako spoke up as we walked

"Yeah?"

"I...I think...I don't really understand you"

Well that was a bit of a punch. Didn't make it any less true "I don't think I really understand you either" I admitted "I think that's okay though"

It was completely normal I suppose, we had a lot of mental wall between us it was unlikely that they'd all be broken down in a day. But that's what the next day was for, and the day after that. Brick by brick a day if that was what was necessary. I was willing to put in the effort to make it work, and I was pretty sure she was too.

Hanako eyes kept flicking to my face and down to the street and back to my face.

"Something up?" I asked

She stopped and looked at me, taking a deep breath in the process. Her expression reminded me of the time I had surprised her in her room

"I..." she started to say "I think...I think have something...I need to give you"

"What is it?"

"I wanted to give you this for a long, long time, but...now that I need to..." she dropped her gaze again "It's too embarrassing..."

Colour me intrigued. "It's okay. You don't have be embarrassed. I'll accept it, whatever it is"

She looked back up and smiled at me. It was a smaller smile than the last one, with a bit more red in the cheeks. She placed a hand on my shoulder "Then, please accept my first gift to you, Kaito..."

And so, standing on her tiptoes, she kissed me. On the lips. In front of anyone who happened to be walking past us. I didn't really care about that though. It may have not technically been my first kiss, but it felt right.

It felt perfect.

My name is Smith Kaito, Kaito Smith. I was in an accident. I lost my left hand and lower left leg. My parents are Johnathan Smith and Harumi Yamamoto. I live at Yamaku Academy. I'm in love with Hanako. We are in a relationship.

I am happy. I am in love.

Life is perfect.

* * *

 **Authors Note**

Fin.

Thank you to everyone that read this story, favourited, followed and reviewed it.

Keep your eyes open for anything else I might make.

Thanks once again!


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